Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

July 2, 2013 / Posted by:

If you are a B list actor and ask someone to marry you, your first step after asking should not be to call your sometime male lover to tell him the good news. (CDAN)

Of course you should call your boyfriend after getting engaged to a chick. Somebody has to help you plan the wedding.

Matthew Morrison just got engaged, but my Gaydar has never gotten hard around him and that’s saying a lot (see: green bow tie). Dude is on Glee and a Broadway actor, so I’m surprised he didn’t rent out the cover of People to announce that “Yep, he’s straight!”

I’m going to guess Jennifer Love Hewitt’s dude.

This family is very famous, with branches of the family tree reaching into entertainment, fashion, and the media. And there is a big family fight going on right now over a sex tape that one of the younger members of the family wants to release!

The family has banded together to try to prevent a sex tape featuring one of the foxy young girls in the family from ever seeing the light of day. They are trying everything from bribes to legal measures to try to prevent this tape from hitting the market.

We’ve got some news for the family: Given how determined the girl is to release it, there may not be enough silver in the world to keep their family’s reputation intact! (Blind Gossip)

When you see the words “sex tape” and “family” in the same sentence, you immediately pour bleach into your ear holes to disinfect your brain after thinking about the Hogan family sex tape. After you do that, you assume that the story is about the Kartrashians since the Jenner girls have to make a manufactured sex tape in order to graduate from Professor Pimp Mama Kris’ Home School for Hos-In-Training. But this isn’t about the Kartrashians. PMK trying to keep a sex tape starring one of her own from coming out is like me trying to keep this french toast stick from going into my mouth.

I’m going to guess THE DUGGARS!

Which picture-perfect Hollywood pair likes to invite lucky strangers into bed for three-ways and has their assistants outfit their hotel suites with plastic sheets ahead of the encounters? (Page Six)

If the words “picture-perfect” weren’t anywhere in that blind item, I’d say Kanye and Kim since I’m sure he throws a hissy fit every time one of their hos throws a pissy fit on Kim and stains his $10,000 white leather and satin sheets.

I’m going to guess Justin Theroux and Jennifer Aniston?

Which male fashion star is rumored to have been caught sleeping with an underage man? (Page Six)

Kunty Karl? But they weren’t doing it. Karl was just sucking the youth and innocence out of the dude’s nipple. That’s all. Totally platonic!

This A list mostly movie actress who is an Academy Award nominee/winner was a restaurant the other night and they lost her reservation and dared to make her wait a few minutes. Not a good idea. The foreign born actress went off on the staff in several different languages and threatened them that if was not sitting in five minutes she would have her husband buy the place and then close it. (CDAN)

Salma Hayek?

This former A+ list celebrity/singer made several sex tapes a few years ago. Actually more than several. The disturbing thing about them is the guy who is trying to sell them and the fact that she is not using protection despite the STD she knows about during filming. (CDAN)

Brit Brit during her shaved head days? But what I want to know is if she wore a pink merkin and if they used Cheetos-flavored lube.

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