Prince Hot Ginge And Meghan Markle Clocked Out On Their Final Event As Senior Royals

March 9, 2020 / Posted by:

If you’re in London and happened to see a flame ball of tip-moistening hotness and a bowl of really fancy-looking spinach cartwheeling down the street, don’t worry, it was just Prince Hot Ginge and Meghan Markle celebrating their almost freedom from being professional royals. Today, PHG and Meghan completed their last hard labor task of smiling and waving as a top tier royal, and can now devote all of their time to doing the hard labor task of collecting a mountain of money in exchange for saying words to a bunch of rich assholes at a bank event, and/or saying words in front of a camera. But of course, PHG and Meghan’s last royal job didn’t end without a bit of drama. At their final event today, everyone reached for a pashmina as their nipples got hard from the awkward coldness wafting off of Duchess Kate as she seemingly ignored The Suckits.

PHG and Meghan were in Britain all weekend for their final duties as senior royals. They did the Endeavour Awards together on Friday night. They did themselves up in some Christmas Prince cosplay for the Mountbatten Festival of Music on Saturday. They went to church with THE QUEEN yesterday. And today, they joined the other royals at the Commonwealth Day service at Westminster Abbey. Surprisingly, Meghan didn’t wear denim coochie cutters and  a shoulder-baring t-shirt with the words “BYE BITCHES” written on the back. Instead, Meghan decided to dress like a bootleg Alexis Carrington on a budget at a casual St. Patrick’s Day party.

When PHG and Meghan took their seats inside, Duchess Kate and Prince William strolled in, and kept the “KATE AND WILLIAM HATE HARRY AND MEGHAN” storylines going. Prince William did nod at PHG and Meghan, but Kate treated them the same way she treats a coat that doesn’t look like it should be worn by a cast member in a stage production of It’s A Wonderful Life. Kate didn’t even want to look at their asses! I’ve gotten a warmer greeting from the one-night trick I ALLEGEDLY gave crabs to after we ran into each other at the bar.

And Prince Edward talked to them, but it doesn’t look like William or Kate ever did:

Cameras also got a shot of PHG and Meghan leaving their final royal engagement while resisting the urge to flip all those tricks off as they sprint to the exit door:

PHG and Meghan are still senior royals, though. Their last day is March 31st, which means their first day as really rich peasants is April 1st. Yes, April 1st. Why do I have a feeling that on that day, PHG and Meghan will awake to the sound of George Michael’s Freedom! 90 as their alarm sound, and just as they’re about to explode from being FREE, an assistant will bring in a note from THE QUEEN that will read: “April Fools, dumb fucks! Did you really think I’d let you go that easy? Now get your asses back here, and you better take WestJet!”

Pics: Backgrid,

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