Complex is reporting that the internet was not here for Billy Ray Cyrus’ recent social media postings. What was so controversial it got the people pissed off? His on-and-off-again wife Tish Cyrus posing with the best friend a girl could ask for: a giant Willie Nelson-sized amount of weed.
The Grammys red carpet always looks like an intergalactic space orgy sprinkled with a bunch of random rappers who just rolled out of bed with barely enough time to grab their grill from the bedside table thrown in for good measure. Every year, it’s a mess. Plus you’ve always got legitimate superstars mixed in with a whole lot whosits and whateverhappenedtos. This year’s Grammy red carpet was no exception. I’m trying to sift through some of these looks, and honestly don’t know where to begin.
Just because Mickey Mouse’s former bottom bitch Miley Cyrus got married last month doesn’t mean she immediately retired to a room to lay down and make babies with her husband Liam Hemsworth. Although, technically that would make her a fool since most people would take the entire year off just to spend all their time locked away with their legs wide open playing a perverted version of The Hunger Games with Liam called If You’re Hungry Eat This! Perhaps that’s just my fast ass, so pay me no mind. Miley shot down a rumor that she’s pregnant brought the most famous bitch on the planet into it.
When I first heard about Miley Cyrus getting maybe-married to Liam Hemsworth in Tennessee, I figured that was not a mistake because who wouldn’t want to get married at the mecca of mullets, hot chicken, and Dollywood? But Franklin, Tennessee wasn’t Miley and Liam’s first pick. They wanted to do it in Malibu, but the wildfire that destroyed their home there ruined their plans. Continue reading
Roasted possum, moonshine burps, and eternal hillbilly love (which strangely enough, also smells like moonshine burps) were in the air in Franklin, Tennessee last night. Because either Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth got married in a casual wedding at home, or they decided to take advantage of the slow ass Christmas “news” week by fucking with us. But all signs point to them getting hitched, and I’m sure many a Cyruses are wondering why a wedding went down when Miley doesn’t look she’s got a stage 4 CASE OF THE BABIES and they didn’t hear the sound of a shotgun.
In case you missed her lastest transformation, Miley Cyrus is a strident feminist now. She’s no longer interested in catering her looks to the tastes of The Male Gaze. No, she’s shopping for feminist credentials now. As such, she’s gone and taken the sacred psalm of gold diggers, “Santa Baby“, and tried turning it into some sort of ham-fisted girl-power anthem. I’ve never been more insulted in my life.