Repugnant papa Robin Thicke is about to be a parent again. Robin’s been out of the headlines for a minute after grossing us all out for months during his divorce and extra messy custody battle with Paula Patton. During those early, heady days of 2017, Robin and Paula had all their business up in our grills. Allegations of child abuse, spousal abuse, drug abuse and abuses against common decency were all flung in Robin’s direction, yet his girlfriend April Love Geary still thought it would be a good idea to seal the deal with Robin by putting a Thicke fetus up in her.
It’s time for Amber Heard to grab her purse and hat, because the gravy train just pulled into Splitsville station and the conductor needs her to get to stepping. Amber Heard and her billionaire boyfriend Elon Musk are over. The Daily Mail reports:
Heard, 31, is ‘devastated’ after tech tycoon Elon Musk ended their year-long romance. Last night a source told The Mail on Sunday: ‘It’s all over between Amber and Elon and she’s devastated. It was his decision.
After the shocking revelations last week that convicted felon cum model Jeremy Meeks was allegedly cheating on his wife with billionaire TopShop heiress Chloe Green, his wife has pulled a “Central Valley Lemonade” (as we call it in the biz) by giving an exclusive interview to The Daily Mail to air her grievances.
Melissa Meeks says she found out about the affair the same way the rest of us did; when ‘Some random person I don’t know sent a direct message with the photograph of my husband kissing that woman”. Now that the (blood) money is in the water, Melissa Meeks is seeking a divorce and a whole lot of sympathy.
In a little over a year, Jeremy Meeks (aka Prison Bae aka Hot Mug Shot Guy aka the felon guilty of grand theft, gun possession, gang shit and murdering thirsty pussies and bussies everywhere with his dreamy eyes) has gone from eating radiator grilled cheese in prison to smearing caviar all over the billionaire ass cheeks of a TopShop heiress on a yacht off the coast of Turkey.
Amber Heard’s first marriage to Johnny Depp was a grade-A mess from start to finish. Accusations of gold digging, dog smuggling, and a divorce that will go down in Hollywood history as one of the messiest divorce battles every fought by a famous millionaire and his younger famous wife. Well, getting divorced from a rich older dude clearly didn’t scare Amber off marriage for good, because word is she might be thinking about getting married to her older billionaire boyfriend Elon Musk.
Last year, The Daily Mail republished a rumor from Slovenian tabloid Suzy that insinuated that Melania Trump may have rented her vagine out to men while trying to make it as a model. The modeling agency that Melania was signed to in the 1990s was allegedly also a leased cooch emporium. Suzy’s article claimed that some of the models also worked as call girls. Well, when they go low, Melania goes to her lawyers and gets money.
Melania’s lawyers originally filed a $150 million lawsuit against The Daily Mail in Maryland, but that lawsuit was thrown out because the judge couldn’t find a connection between the state and The Daily Mail. So Melania’s lawyers refiled the lawsuit in New York a couple of months ago. Melania won’t have to furiously search for the perfect Michelle Obama speech to repeat on the stand while testifying in front of a jury, because the lawsuit was settled. The Daily Mail admitted they were in the wrong and spit up an apology to Melania and that apology didn’t end with: “We’re sorry for calling you a hooker, because everyone knows you’re more of a gold digger!” I thought I knew you, Daily Mail.