Lindsay Lohan will follow-up her tour-de-force performance in “I Know Who Killed Me” by starring opposite Jack Black in “Ye Old Times.” E! reports that Ye is a comedy about two rival Ren Faire troupes as they make their way through the competitive circuit. Jack Black and Lohan in a movie about Ren Faires? Are the producers taking a page from the movie “The Producers” and purposely putting together a flop for insurance purposes? This movie sounds about as entertaining as a rim job from a cactus plant. I’ve tried that before. Well, I sat on a cactus once. I didn’t know whether to scream in pain or orgasm.

E! also managed to get more quotes from White Oprah about Lindsay going nude as Marilyn. You know, because there aren’t nearly enough quotes. She said, “She’s an artist and is back on her feet and working. She’s on the cover of a respected magazine. How can that be a bad career move? It is not! She was just doing a project connected to someone near and dear to her heart with an amazing photographer. Marilyn Monroe has always been someone close to her heart…[Lindsay] just wanted to honor this icon she had never met. She wanted to keep [Monroe’s] memory alive.” Huh…what did she say? I was too busy covering my eyes and chanting “Stop White Oprah. Stop White Oprah. Stop White Oprah.” Did it work?

When Ryan Gaycrest called Chikezie and that Colton twinkie down as possibly going home last night on American Idol, my heart sank. I need Chikezie in my life. I have no idea what he sounds like, but it doesn’t matter. His name is Chikezie and he lives another week!

I did get 3 out of 4 predictions right. I sort of just pulled them out of my ass. I guess my inside ass psychic. Not surprisingly, Peter Frampton, Amy Davis, Joanne Borgella and Colton Berry went home.

I didn’t even remember Colton Berry until he opened his mouth and started singing Suspicious Minds. I laughed when Simon told him to get a good job and keep singing as a hobby. This is why I love Simon. He’s a tight t-shirt wearing dream killer.

I also can’t believe I sat and watched Paula Abdul’s video again. Watching on the big screen made me feel like I was transported back to the 90s for real. I look down to make sure I wasn’t wearing BK knights and surfer pants.

Fergie is the new face of Calvin Klein. Looks like he’s moved on from heroin chic to meth face chic – Holy Moly!

The only thing Jaslene Gonzales is missing is a tail – Mollygood

Johnny Depp outtakes from Rolling Stone – I’m Not Obsessed

Is Adnan cheating on Britney? Who’s Adnan? I already forgot about him – ICYDK

Kate Hudson pregnancy rumors heat up – Celebitchy

Brangelina and kids winter wonderland photo-op – Celebrity Baby Scoop

Tic Tac Toast! – Boing Boing

The London hotel where Amy Wino is staying was left with a major mess after she left the room to attend the Brit Awards. Sources tell The Sun that Wino trashed the joint. Booze was spilled everywhere, ciggie butts, champagne bottles and dirty panties were left strewn all over the room. The bath tub was black due to Wino dying her possum’s nest in it. Wino had also taken a mirror off the wall and put it on the floor. Now, now! Don’t jump to conclusions. She probably is really into Feng Shui and she was deflecting the bad spirits from the room….or she was cutting coke on it.

The hotel claims she left a $6,000 mess and they even had to replace some of the wood floor. A source said, “It took three maids two hours to get it in a habitable order.” They should get the Nobel Peace Prize for their work.

What do you expect? If Amy Wino checks into your hotel, you shouldn’t expect her to leave a pristine scene. You should expect that shit to look like the scene of a Stephen King novel. If I was a maid, I would just light a match and set that joint on fire. There’s no way I would put my gloved hand on her dirty chonies. The chonies would bite back!