Katie Holmes Bearding For Jake Gyllenhaal?
Man, that Suri Cruise chick is a friggin' diva. And way too big to be carted around like that. NYC does have some dirty-ass sidewalks, but seriously. No wonder why Katie Holmes looks so fatigued all the time. She's carting Tiny Tim Suri around like the girl has polio and she's lost her crutches. Stepford Katie is supposedly dating Jake Gyllenhaal, according to The Sun. Jakey's in good shape, so maybe she's just looking for a dude to hold her snooty daughter. Or there was a glitch in her server and the bearding program was reactivated?
A source said: "Josh has been the mastermind behind this romance. Katie says that they have tons in common and Jake has already been to see her in Dead Accounts, plus she has been over to his apartment in the West Village for dinner.”
Dead Accounts is set to close, by the way. No one bought tickets. So she's going to have time for beardin'. What do they have in common? They both used to have crushes on Tom Cruise? Oh wait, it says that Katie's Dawson's Creek pal Joshua Jackson set them up. Let's throw that in reverse to get at the truth. Jake needed to borrow a Joey Potter wig from Katie to fulfill that "Anal with Pacey" fantasy he's always had and this is clearly a publicist flipping the script for a "no homo" moment. I don't blame Jake. Pacey was hot. Get that Capeside cock, gurl.
Update: Gossip Cop says that both of their reps deny this shit. That's a good thing because that's one boring-ass couple. What would they have to talk about besides gluten-free products? Boys, I guess.
Check out more pics of Katie Holmes enduring the burden of lazy-ass Suri in the gallery.
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So over these people.
Hello Katie Holmes?
Please buy your child a box of crayons. And sit down with her and draw and color and help her learn there is a whole rainbow of colors in life. Not just pink!
RU Kidding - word. Honestly, even a move to a nice, nesrby suburb would relieve that pressure. I can't see doing that to a kid when it's totally unnecessary.
Sarah Smile
Suri's body language speaks volumes, and why her parents can't see she's traumatized by all the people following her & taking her picture, is beyond me. Frankly, I don't understand why her parents are putting her through this, just so they can be in the limelight with their careers? Are they blind? Katie should move to some remote place with Suri & let the poor child try to live a normal life, out of the limelight. Just because the parents chose this life, doesn't mean the poor kid wants to live like that. I feel bad for Suri. She's had no choice in any of this.
What's more sad than the fact that 10,000 animals got euthanized today? The fact that because of the ignorance of humans, it will happen again tomorrow. End the cycle. Spay and neuter your pets & please adopt your next pet from a shelter.
Suri's behavior is normal for the abnormal life her parents made for her. Dumbasses. Why can't she have a private life? Other celeb's kids do. She's a neurotic mess. Poor kid.
She's shameless because she only beards for those who are too obvious.
How are you going to fight for some dick if you don't even know whether or not the dick is good? The dick might not even be worth getting into a Rock-Paper-Scissors fight over, let alone a fist fight. - MK
They've known each other since 98/99 and were on a few dates back then. Either they are rekindling that or just remained friends.
I know alot of artists that swing both ways and in fact, it would be harder for me to name, off the top of my head, 10 completely straight friends. I think being an artist is about experimentation and in alot of cases (not ALL), it is just something to experiment on. It doesn't mean someone is gay necessarily, but in my opinion, few people are completely gay or completely straight.
As far as Jakey Poo? Who knows? Who cares? As for Hollywood in general? There are lots of people that beard and know what they are doing (get that check, get that exposure), and then there are those that are bearding and don't even realize it (and probably if they did, would insist on a check!).
Was Nicole Kidman a beard that knew? Yes. And she parlayed that into fame, millions, awards, and she was smart enough to make sure that her contract (and that WAS what it was, for those not in the know) did not force her to have biological kids with a crazed Scientologist and she was young enough to get out of it and marry a real heterosexual.
Is Kelly Preston a beard? Um, yes! And the best in the game. I really don't think John Travolta has any hang-ups about being gay. It's everyone else around him and the embarrassment it would lead to. Plus, since Scientology claims to cure homosexuality, it would show them for the sham manufacturers they are. And with all the auditing they have on Travolta, there's no way he would get out of this unscathed.
Katie Holmes may not have known Tom Cruise was gay, because she was never a bonafide American movie star to begin with, so she probably just took what she could get. And what she got was IGNUNCE. She should have had me negotiate her contract. I would have at least gotten her a Golden Globe award out of that mess!
OK, maybe just an MTV Award, cuz hometrick can't act for shit!
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Who says the child wants to be carried all the time? If it were me, and there were paps swarming, I'd likely carry her through it too - though my daughter at eight years old (and me with an aggressive workout schedule) I wouldn't last for long, lol.
Don't think we can ever know for sure if Jakey (or anyone else) is gay/straight/bi, but people certainly have strong opinions on the subject!
Appearances don't really mean anything; I'm no celebrity but am a closeted lesbian married to a man, so life can be complicated for people like me, who don't even have to deal with the celebrity aspect of things.
ETA: I assume those who beard, without an obvious reason (not referring to anyone in particular) do it mainly for publicity/promoting movie-tv-project-just to keep their name out there. Personally, I wouldn't even want my daughter's picture out there, and nobody knows me - don't think I'd be cut out for that life!
The one thing I never got, assuming Jakie Poo is gay, is why Reese W. would beard for him? She doesn't need the exposure, and it would be a waste of time if she was looking for someone else to marry and have a kid with.
Who the hell ever knows in Hollyweird!
Submitted by chavonnc on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 11:24pm.
Just a tip, try getting some of those ear-protector muffler headphone things that people wear at shooting ranges. Kids who are sensitive to loud noises can really benefit from that.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Thanks! Ive thought of looking into those but as hes gotten older, he doesnt do it as much but still does at the theater. Thats why when I see the pics of suri looking all scared, i feel bad for her and think something else is wrong. They should probably prepare her in some way for this. Those cameras are going to be there her whole life.
If I were her I'd go for Jakey, although they should take it slow cuz of the rebound effect. But Jake's hot and he seems to be nice to/like children. A possible stepdaddy. Do you think Suri would approve?
Even though she is carried all the time, I do believe its because of the paps. Other celebs kids are groomed to be in front of them like poshs kids, but i dont see them doing that with suri. Also, the noise and flashes might trigger a negative response with her. My son is sensitive to loud noise. Even if I just yell out to our dog come inside or something, and its sudden for him, my son gets scared and covers his ears. Even if we sit far back in the theater to watch a movie he covers them up. No hearing problems. But just imagine if it were old, nasty, probably douchy strangersyelling at a little girl to get her attention. Im sure its scary.
I'm sure she's scared. As somebody suggested, maybe Katie should move somewhere lower-key.
Sarah Smile
I'd pick my kid up too if those pap assholes were around. Who knows what awful shit they're shouting to try to get a rise out of Katie. Fuck them.
Speaking of Tommy Girl, 'American Psycho' just started on HBO. I love that Christian Bale based Patrick Bateman on Tom Cruise. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Psycho_%28film%29
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It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.
See Taylor Swift subcategory Jake Gyllenhaal.
So would that be an upgrade or downgrade from Taylor Swift for Jakey-poo? I can't decide.
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A Lannister always pays his debts.
Yawn. Where's the Boring Couples tag?
Since they're always being papped in NYC, maybe it's time for Katie to move elsewhere. Clearly the child never got used to the cameras and cannot walk down the street on her own steam. That said, just wondering why this pair is always papped when the children of people far more talented and famous are never or rarely seen in the press.
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Fair is foul and foul is fair..
I think she's going to have a hard time finding a man. She's got $cienos on her, I'm sure, due to her having the spawn of Tommy Girl.
If Katie just wants to Beard for the rest of her life she should have stuck with Tommy Girl. I know she desperately wants to make herself happen, but Mrs. Tom Cruise is as high as she will ever go.
Submitted by Nanners on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 7:22pm.
Katie's gonna be carrying Suri around when she's in a training bra.
haaaaaaaaaaaa. Oh, I'm sure Katie's past that stage by now.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 6:56pm.
Lol, yeah. They've been carrying her the same way since she was a baby.
At age 25, she'll still be thumb-sucking and wearing princess dresses, and insisting that Katie carry her ass around.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
i think jake is straight
Little cheery is 16 and I miss being able to carry her around. We weren't like some of these lazy ass parents who stick their kid in a stroller all. The. Damn. Time. If she wasn't walking, she was in my arms.
If this is true, she just outed her ex. Game, set, match Katie.
There were some other photos on other sites where Suri was photographed walking at first,hiding her face with her hand, and then she was picked up all in tears and looking very scared. By the looks of it there were quite a few people around taking photo's and being much too close. Maybe she just got scared and got picked up, personally I don't see the big deal with it.
I didn't know there was DNA in my ass!
Mike - Nothing about this yet.
What's Suri saying on her burn book page? :)
I don't care who she fucks.
Katie's gonna be carrying Suri around when she's in a training bra.
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
That story never made sense from the beginning. Katie and Josh are exes and don't get along particularly well, by all accounts Jen Lindley, Pacey Witter and Dawson Leery are all fairly friendly and stuck up Joey Potter is the one nobody sends a Christmas card too.
Also, isn't Jake still dating Julian from One Tree Hill?
I actually like katie holmes. And more now that shes not with tom, whos appeal i never got. Dude is ugly in my humble opinion. As for her parenting skills, i cant really comment, since im not a parent. But i will say i never got the impression katie was the one responsible for spoiling suri. That story awhile back about tommy buying suri her own little mansion because her pony and toys dont fit in katies apartment probably contributed to that idea...the kid does seem spoiled, but most kids that age seem bratty to me.
This child must be developmentally stunted if she still wants to be carried all the time at 7 years old.
Sometimes I feel bad for Suri, because their parents have been pimping her before she was born, but other times I think she's an insufferable spoiled brat. I hope she comes out with a tell all when she grows up.
Poor kid.
This is one where I am almost 100% sure MK isn't accurate about. Jakey likes them girls. And he doesn't care if people pin him as a ghey.
Too bad we can't arm all celebrity kids with squirt guns loaded with corn syrup.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 6:56pm.
But the real issue is she's keeping the kid, who must be almost 19 by now, infantilized.
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Perfectly put.
Since Katie Bot's acting skills are a joke, she should consider Professional Bearding as a career.
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"Going to Burger King to eat healthy is like going to a prostitute for a hug." Dlister Supah 8.20.11
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 6:42pm.
Plus your lower back hurts after a while, right? But the real issue is she's keeping the kid, who must be almost 19 by now, infantilized.
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“Mais où sont les neiges d'antan?” (Villon)
Team Make Veruca Salt 2.0 Walk!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Either Katie is tiny or the Scieno-brat is a giraffe.
STOP CARRYING THAT FUCKING KID EVERYWHERE!!!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
No. Just, no. I see your points about protecting her from the paparazzi, but that child has dealt with it since birth. She is used to it, or should be.
Katie makes great effort to do "normal" things. They aren't squired around in a Town Car, which they could -- and which would protect Suri from those aggressive paparazzi.
If she wants to do the normal thing, make that child walk. If she's dragging ass, you tell her to catch up. Handling her like that is making her too precious, in every way. And that will not translate well as she grows up.
(edited for piss-poor grammar)
(double edit: I spelling "poor" wrong. Instant karma from the Chosen Child! Whah!!)
TexnDoc, is that Reacher movie really not doing well? :D
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Well I wish her play would have been more successful than it sounds like. I enjoy reading about TommyGirls collapse at the box office but do wish her well.
Submitted by RandéSleepover: "Suri's legs are going to atrophy soon, while Katie's going to have forearms like a blacksmith's."
LOL. I have no idea how she does it. My 7 year old is skinny and I dont think I could carry her very far. Lift, yes. Carry, no.
You'd think she'd be sick of bearding by now. She's becoming a career beard.
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"Brows should not look like a condiment!" -MK