Will Ferrell And Kristen Wiig’s Secret Lifetime Movie Is Definitely Happening

When The Hollywood Reporter spilled the beans back in April that Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig had made a secret semi-serious Lifetime movie called A Deadly Adoption, tears of pure happiness poured from my eye-holes like Botox from a broken seam in Kim Kardashian’s face. Then later, when Will Ferrell announced that he was throwing the whole thing in the trash because it was supposed to be a secret, my happy tears turned to sad stanky tears.

Now my tears have gone back to the happy kind again, because The Hollywood Reporter confirmed yesterday that A Deadly Adoption is back on and will air on June 20th. And thanks to that poster, now I’m really excited. A Deadly Adoption looks like True Detective meets Mom at Sixteen starring Chuck Norris and a heavily airbrushed Cathy from Dance Moms. Of course, that’s all a lot of words to say that it looks perfect, and I will be clearing my schedule for the night of the 20th so I can park my ass on the couch with a box of wine and get messy while I watch this mess. “And that’s different from every other night how?” just coughed my couch, my ass, and the 12 boxes of wine stacked in my kitchen.

The only problem I can see is that date. June 20th isn’t a Sunday. “Sources” tell THR that someone fucked up, and the poster should have said “Saturday June 20.” It’s already a mess, and it hasn’t even aired yet! Good job, Will Ferrell; you really know your Lifetime movies.

Pic: Twitter

Will Ferrell And Kristen Wiig Made A Lifetime Movie (UPDATE)

After pushing out some truly stinky made-for-tv dookies recently (yes, I’m looking at all of you, but mostly The Brittany Murphy Story), Lifetime has finally made something that won’t be a giant pile of embarrassment. I know, they had such a high bar to clear after Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig have made a movie together for Lifetime called A Deadly Adoption, a dramatic thriller about a successful couple who let a pregnant woman live in their house in hopes that she’ll give them her baby. Obviously Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig play the couple, and the pregnant woman is played by 90210’s Jessica Lowndes.

The two-hour movie, which was filmed in secret a little while ago, has been described as “campy and fun and a contemporary wink at the genre” and will air sometime in the summer. Will Ferrell is apparently a huge fan of Lifetime movies and has wanted to make a fake Lifetime movie for a while, and A Deadly Adoption will coincide with the 25th anniversary of Lifetime’s TV movie business.

Well, that’s just about the best damn news I’ve heard all week. The only way A Deadly Adoption could get any better is if the small town police officer (it’s always in a small town and there’s always a police officer) who just knows something’s not right about Will and Kristen’s characters was played by Lifetime legend Valerie Bertinelli and the fetus in the ultrasound picture was played by Tori Spelling.

UPDATE from Michael: Will Ferrell tells Deadline that they’ve decided to scrap it and not air it, because it was supposed to be on the SHUSH and they’re sad that it was made public. The Internet ruined it all! But The Wrap says that isn’t so. They think that Will’s statement to Deadline might be a ploy to trick everyone. The future masterpiece will still air, apparently. Okay, well if it’s not a ploy and they really are scrapping plans to air it, can Lifetime please show the classic Maternal Instincts starring Delta Burke in its place?

Here’s the lock for Best Actress in a TV Move at the 2016 Emmys strolling through LAX last week. Is it just me, or is Kristen Wiig giving off funhouse mirror Ashlee Simpson vibes?

Pics: Splash

ICYMI: Michelle Obama On The “Ew!” Show With Jimmy Fallon and Will Ferrell

If you’ve got 6 minutes and 10 seconds of your life to spare and really want to see Will Ferrell act like a bitchy mean girl while dragged up like a hotter Michelle Duggar, then press play on this video from last night’s The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy Fallon pulled out that “Ew!” sketch and used that shit as a platform for First Lady Michelle Obama to come out to tell all of our lazy asses to exercise more (You’re not my mom, Michelle Obama!) and to try to make kale chips happen again. The only way I will ever eat a kale chip again is if it’s wearing a jacket made of potato chips, a hat made of deep fried bacon and it’s insides are filled with processed nacho cheese. Even then, I’ll hold my nose while doing so.

The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon isn’t even a week old and he’s already had Brian Williams making nip slits smile by mumbling out Rapper’s Delight and Will Smith doing the evolution of hip-hop moves with him. What’s next? Joe Biden doing Slow James the News?

Meanwhile on Public Access in NYC, Sarah Palin was a guest on The Robin Byrd Show. I wish.

When Did Steve Carell Join The DILF Club?

I’m going to have to choose my words very carefully, because these pics of Steve Carell are giving me a serious case of the vapors and I could come across sounding like a total creep (too late dummy, you already used the term DILF).

I haven’t seen much of Steve Carell since he left The Office, and I guess I always think of him as Michael Scott, so to say I was pleasantly surprised to see these pics of him at the Australian premiere of Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues is the understatement of the year. This is like a reverse She’s All That; someone dorked him right up and it’s doing things to me. What? Did that come across as creepy? I have a hard time telling. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some pictures to bookmark for..uh..later (that was, no-question, very creepy).

Here’s more of the Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues premiere with Will Ferrell, Paul Rudd (looking AGELESS. Seriously, I’m concerned; he’s not aging), David Koechner, Adam McKay, Kristen Wiig, and my personal favourite reverse-vampire, Count Kikula (who looks like an adorable polka-dot booze-hug).

(Pics via Wenn, Splash)

Peter Dinklage’s Perfect Side-Eye Says It All

As Will Ferrell accepted his Comedic Genius Golden Popcorn Award at last night’s MTV Movie Awards, Aubrey Plaza from Parks & Recreation pulled a lukewarm Kanye West when she crashed the stage and awkwardly tried to snatch away Will’s golden dingle trophy. Will didn’t give it up, so she went back to her seat, sat down and dropped her plastic cup of the sweet nectar on the floor. The only good thing to come out of this totally staged stunt is the “Why the fuck did I agree to this stupid shit, I could be at home watching myself on TV” side-eye that Peter Dinklage threw.

MTV News says that Aubrey’s awkward stage crash wasn’t planned and the producers of the show asked her to leave right afterward. Will co-signed MTV News’ statement backstage and said that he really had no idea what was going on.

“I think she wanted to tell me something important, but there was no message. It was just a lot of hot liquor breath. And, then, and a little bit of sweat. And then she ran away. But the ship sailed on.”

MTV needs to pull all of our dicks harder, because there’s no way that mess wasn’t completely choreographed from beginning to end. First of all, they put Aubrey Plaza in the front row. Second of all, she wrote the name of her new movie on her chest. Third of all, everyone is saying that Aubrey Plaza looked ten sheets to the wind, but ho didn’t look drunk to me. She looked like she was faking the drunkness. A true drunk bitch would never spill the sweet nectar like that. A true drunk bitch holds onto their cup of the sweet nectar for dear life.

Even though this shit was a sad excuse for a publicity stunt, it worked!

But then again, maybe MTV was telling the truth when they said this wasn’t rehearsed. Because I don’t think any part of that shitty awards show was rehearsed.