Category: Too Soon

Amy Schumer Shared A “Joke” About Alec Baldwin’s “Rust” Shooting That She Wasn’t “Allowed” To Tell At The Oscars

April 5, 2022 / Posted by:

Artists take their pain and trauma and create art with it. That’s what they’ve always done. And nobody, and I mean nobody, was more triggered and traumatized by The Slap Will Smith delivered during last Sunday’s Oscars than Amy Schumer. So naturally, she gets first dibs on cracking jokes about it in her comedy show. The only other person with a stronger case for first dibs is The Slappee himself, Chris Rock. But gentleman that he is, he let her go first since she’s a delicate flower for whom “processing” and “unpacking” in private would be too taxing on her feminine constitution. So while Chris eschewed discussing The Slap in his recent show, Amy took a more direct approach toward healing. At a show over the weekend in Las Vegas, Amy shared a joke that the Academy wouldn’t let her tell about Alec Baldwin shooting and killing Rust cinematographer Halyna Hutchins. Amy truly is the Picasso of pain, and I’m not saying that just because the audience’s eyes were probably sliding all around their faces willy-nilly from looking at her sideways. It’s just that I shudder to think of what type of off-color jokes she’ll tell once she enters her Blue Period.

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Tom Hardy And Channing Tatum Will Star In A Movie About The Afghanistan Evacuation

November 10, 2021 / Posted by:

Three months ago the Taliban took control of Kabul. U.S. forces withdrew from Afghanistan and there was a massive, panicked evacuation. As the rest of the world looked on in horror, Hollywood bigwig George Nolfi pointed at his TV and said, “There! That’s a movie!”  He took this “original pitch” to Universal Pictures, and today Deadline is reporting that they officially bought it. Channing Tatum and Tom Hardy are attached to star. So far the project is untitled, but might I suggest “Too Soon”?

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Meek Mill Apologized To Vanessa Bryant After She Called Him Out For A “Disrespectful” Lyric About Kobe Bryant’s Death

February 23, 2021 / Posted by:

It’s been just over a year since Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gianna Bryant tragically died in a helicopter crash and his widow, Vanessa Bryant, is already having to deal with lazy rappers dropping his name willy nilly for clout. I’m sorry, for art. According to Yahoo!, recently leaked lyrics from a Meek Mill track titled Don’t Worry (RIP Kobe) prompted Vanessa to lash out on Instagram, calling the song “extremely insensitive and disrespectful.” And if getting caught distressing a widow wasn’t bad enough, Meek also had the misfortune of having Vanessa shade his ass with the line “I am not familiar with any of your music, but I believe you can do better than this.” Too generous Vanessa, too generous by far. But we’ll have to forgive her if she’s unaware of the fact that Meek almost married Nicki Minaj. If he could do better, he would have by now.

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