Drew Barrymore’s fuckery-filled daytime talk show just finished up its second week. And yesterday, Drew invited her former husband of 15 months, Tom Green, onto the socially distanced set of her show to catch up on old times. And it was as awkward and cute as you can imagine two exes reuniting on a daytime talk show would be.
When I think Drew Barrymore, I think of child rehab, Charlie’s Angels, daisies, and the term “hopeless romantic” (her words). Hence all the failed marriages. Number one was way back in ’95, to bar owner Jeremy Thomas. They broke up after two months. Then she got hitched to Tom Green (pictured above in all his Canuck goateed glory), and that survived five months (improvement!). Her third husband was art consultant/son of the former CEO of Chanel (oo la la!) Will Kopelman,. Will is also the father of her two daughters, Olive, 7, and Frankie, 6. They lasted an entire presidential term: 2012-2016, which is eons in Barrymore marriage time. According to math, patterns, and exponents, 45-year-old Drew’s next marriage should last roughly fifty years. But she insists she’s done with that shit.
A Man Was Arrested For Not Returning A VHS Copy Of “Freddy Got Fingered” That He Rented More Than A Decade Ago
Here’s a story that couldn’t be more early-2000s unless it rode in wearing a pair of Y2K glasses on the hood of a cyber green VW Beetle driven by the Weakest Link lady. A man from North Carolina named James Meyers recently found himself on the shit end of a pair of handcuffs and it’s all thanks to a VHS rental copy of Freddy Got Fingered.
James tells WSOC-TV (via NY Daily News) that police pulled him over for a broken taillight on Tuesday while driving his daughter to school, and that’s when he discovered there was a warrant out for his arrest. James rented Freddy Got Fingered from a video store back in 2002, but he forgot to return it. James was allowed to drive his daughter to school, but when he got back, he was arrested and charged with failure to return rental property. Even though the video store where James rented Freddy Got Fingered has closed, James still has to show up in court at the end of April, and he could be punished with a fine of up to $200.
Tom Green, seen above wearing a cheese helmet in one of Freddy Got Fingered more memorable scenes, heard about James’ arrest and has offered to pay the fine in the event he’s convicted.
As anyone who remembers what it was like to rent videos in the old days knows, some video rental places used to take late fees very seriously. There were many times Blockbuster threatened to sic a collection agency on my ass over a runaway rental. So James is real lucky that the video rental industry is laying on its deathbed, or else he might be facing more than just a fine. If I remember correctly, back in the old days, keeping a movie for that long was punishable by death.
What I don’t get is how not returning a VHS copy of Freddy Got Fingered got James an arrest warrant. The video rental place should have been grateful that James took it off their hands permanently.
Pic: 20th Century Fox