Open Post: Hosted By Universal Treasure Tim Curry And The Cast Of The TV “Rocky Horror”

In case your brain tried to protect your soul by blocking out the memory of Fox’s remake of Rocky Horror Picture Show, let me remind you. Fox actually went through with taking that exquisitely perfect $2 back alley whore, Rocky Horror, and cleaning it up so it’d be presentable for families and children. Families and children always ruin everything!

Fox’s squeaky clean kindergarten theater production of Rocky Horror airs on Thursday, and last night was its premiere in L.A. While surrounded by Ben Vereen, a hot piece in a tux, Christina Milian and a bunch of other tricks, the king of the night Tim Curry held court.

Continue reading

Open Post: Hosted By The New Trailer For Fox’s “Rocky Horror Picture Show”

Fox put out the newest trailer for their version of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, which comes out this Halloween. They should’ve kept it. Or at least kept most of it. I’ll take the parts with Tim Curry and Rocky’s nipples.

Fox farted up a bunch of pictures of their take on Rocky Horror back in May, and it looked like they took the beloved cult classic, hosed that bitch down with ammonia, scrubbed the dumpster gravy and dried cum stains off it, plopped a fresh-out-of-the-package new wig on its head and sprayed it down with glitter-infused Febreze. Rocky Horror is an old dirty whore that didn’t need cleaning up, but that’s what Fox did. And the new trailer confirms it. They even added an audience…. It’s just a jump to the left and a step to the right to cry in the corner over what Fox did!

I get it. It’s primetime TV. Fox is in the business of making that money and they want to deliver a Rocky Horror the whole family can enjoy! I know Fox thought about the children, but did they think about us, the growns who love that beautiful piece of trash of a movie? What’s more damaging? A child seeing a broke down, messy Frank-N-Furter say, “A mental mind fuck can be nice.” Or a grown seeing a polished and clean Frank-N-Furter say, “A mental mind fudge can be nice.” Children can take the shock of hearing a shocking curse word, They’re young and their organs are new! We’re all old with raggedy organs. We can’t take the pain of seeing a sanitized Rocky Horror. THINK OF THE OLDS, FOX. THINK OF THE OLDS!

Okay, So Maybe Fox’s “Rocky Horror” Remake Will Be Worth Watching After All…

Fox has yet to be like, “Hahaha, we’re just joking, we’re not going to ruin the hell out of Rocky Horror for you by sanitizing all the good shit out of it.” They’re still going through with their TV remake of The Rocky Horror Picture Show and up until today, the casting has been a tragic mess. Laverne Cox is playing Frank-N-Furter and the rest of the cast is filed directly under “NOPE.” Victoria Justice is playing Janet, someone named Ryan McCartan is playing Brad, Reeve Carney from Penny Dreadful is playing Riff-Raff and Adam Lambert is playing Eddie. I keep waiting for Fox to announce that they’re really going to mess Rocky Horror up by casting Selena Gomez as Magenta and Lea Michele as Columbia. It’s coming. But well, maybe there’s one tiny sparkle in this shit pile of NO.

Fox announced today that Tim Curry is going back to Rocky Horror. The only Frank-N-Furter we need will play the criminologist narrator. Charles Gray played the role in the movie. Tim Curry, who is still recovering from the stroke that put him in a wheelchair, said these few words about joining Fox’s Rocky Horror reboot:

“I am very happy and excited to be a part of this new event.”

(Side note: Tim Curry is a 69-year-old English treasure, so instead of flipping Fox off for ruining Rocky Horror, we should be holding hands in a prayer circle around him.)

I guess if anybody can save this G-rated butchery it’s Tim Curry. And the only way he can save it is if he rips off his narrator costume 5 seconds into “Sweet Transvestite,” slips into some black panties and shows those amateurs how it’s really, really done.

Universal Treasure Tim Curry Honored With A Lifetime Achievement Award On Tony Night

Almost three years ago, human jewel Tim Curry had a major stroke that left him in a bad way. Since then, humanity has been asking “Where the hell is Tim Curry to show these bitches how it’s really done?” and I think I asked that question out loud while watching Christopher Walken in NBC’s Peter Pan Live! Tim Curry has been laying low and recovering with the help of physical therapy. At last night’s Actors Fund Tony Awards Viewing Party in Los Angeles, Tim Curry rolled onto the red carpet to receive a lifetime achievement award for his contributions to making ass lips pucker by swishing, swaying and serving pure talent in Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Worst Witch, etc… etc…

Tim, who’s my favorite age (69), still has to use a wheelchair to get around, but he told Los Angeles Magazine during an interview about his lifetime achievement award from the Actors Fund that he’s doing okay.

Since your stroke you have made limited public appearances. How are you doing and are you looking forward to the Actors Fund event?
I’m doing well and I’m looking forward to it. I’ve done a few benefits for the Actors Fund and I think it’s a marvelous organization. I hope not to have to use it.

How important is your sense of humor to you?
Vital. Absolutely vital. It’s not tough to maintain. It is just part of my DNA.

When I woke up this morning, I saw all these headlines about how Tim Curry was honored at the Tonys. I drunkenly watched every single second of the Tonys (because as a gay dude who once lived in NYC I like to play a game of “Oh Shit, My Friend Totally Blew That One Chorus Boy In A Gay Bar Bathroom” while watching it) and I didn’t remember Tim Curry showing up at all. I almost looked up information for the nearest AA group, because I obviously have a problem if booze ate my memory of seeing a legend like Tim Curry at the Tonys. But after injecting coffee directly into my brain, I realized he was at a Tony viewing party. Tim should’ve been at the actual Tonys, though. They should’ve cut that ship wreck of a Finding Neverland performance and let Tim sing a Rocky Horror/Annie/The Worst Witch/Spamalot medley as he descended from above in his wheelchair. That’s what the Tonys needed.

Here’s a few more pictures of Tim Curry at the Actors Fund Tony Viewing Party. I also threw in a million pictures from the actual Tonys of Bernadette Peters, Chita Rivera and other Broadway legends like Gigi Hadid, Ashley Greene and that model who got naked in a Robin Thicke video.

Pics: Wenn.com