Category: That Insurrection

Olympic Gold Medalist Klete Keller Has Been Charged For Taking Part In The Attack On The Capitol

January 14, 2021 / Posted by:

38-year-old Olympic gold medal-winning swimmer, Klete Keller, was identified earlier this one as one of the people who sieged on the U.S. Capitol in Washington D.C. as part of an attempted insurrection. Well, turns out there are consequences to taking part in an attack that left five people dead. Federal consequences in fact. NBC News says Klete was charged in federal court over the riots.

Continue reading

Chuck Norris Was Not At The MAGA Siege On The U.S. Capitol But Olympic Gold Medalist Swimmer Klete Keller Sure Was

January 13, 2021 / Posted by:

Because of the attack on the U.S. Capital last week, five people died and there have been several arrests because, surprisingly, attacking the Capitol, carrying weapons, and shouting about how you’re going to “hang” the VICE-PRESIDENT, will get you arrested. Did you know? Some people are surprised. No one is more surprised than Chuck Norris, however, who had to clear up some things and say he was not present at the siege. But you know who was? Gold medal-winning Olympic swimmer, Klete Keller.

Continue reading

Kirstie Alley Called Twitter’s Suspension Of Donald Trump “Slavery”

January 11, 2021 / Posted by:

I didn’t know it was possible to be a member of two different cults simultaneously yet Kirstie Alley has proved that anything is possible if you’re dumb enough. Back in October, Kirstie let it be known that she was going to vote for Donald Trump, thus pledging her allegiance to the MAGA movement and embracing all that comes with it. She called Nancy Pelosi EVIL, and quoted QAnon’s now-suspended Twitter Page saying “WHERE WE GO ONE WE GO ALL *American flag emoji* I like it.” Yet, after last Wednesday’s insurrection (look at me, casually mentioning an insurrection when it should be The Kid’s Choice Awards or some shit. What a year[s]) Kirstie had an opportunity to distance herself from the mob but instead chose to lean on her all caps key and assert that Twitter’s decision to suspend Trump’s Twitter account was “SLAVERY” and that “BIG TECH” now holds “the keys to the chains.” Please forgive her. It must be so confusing holding competing ideologies that are both rooted in science fiction, especially considering the fact that one of them probably involves literal slavery. And let’s not forget the fact that she is also, apparently, very, very dumb.

Continue reading

alt="drupal analytics" >