Category: Tekashi69

Tekashi69 Overdosed On McDonald’s Coffee And Hydroxycut

October 2, 2020 / Posted by:

Gummi bear that melted in a nuclear pit and fused with a goblin from another dimension, Tekashi69, was admitted to the hospital in Florida earlier this week due to an overdose. But this wasn’t your typical rapper overdose off some kind of drug or sizzurp, Tekashi got wrecked off of coffee and the diet pill Hydroxycut. Let’s see, this garbage person got through prison, and hasn’t been jumped by the gang members he snitched on yet, but he went to the hospital over trying to achieve Kim Kardashian‘s waistline? Jameela Jamil will have no sympathy for him.

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Tekashi69 Claimed That Ariana Grande And Justin Bieber Bought Their #1 Spot On Billboard, And They Slapped Back 

May 19, 2020 / Posted by:

Tekashi69 has a new gig and it’s snitching. He’s seemed to have developed a skill for exposing people and this time he’s turned his sights on Billboard, Ariana Grande, and Justin Bieber. Tekashi claimed Ariana and The Biebs (which sounds like the name of an extremely insufferable Nickelodeon-made pop group) bought their way to a number one single on Billboard’s Hot 100. But they both called bullshit and it seems like Tekashi is as bad at snitching as he is at rapping.

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No Kid Hungry Refused A $200,000 Donation From Tekashi69

May 13, 2020 / Posted by:

Tekashi69 (real name: Daniel Hernandez) was lucky enough to be released from prison into home confinement thanks to coronavirus. But then the 24-year-old (?!?) alternate-universe troll doll had to move houses because he accidentally leaked his own location, making it easy for the gang he snitched on to track him down. Chet Hanks even dunked on him. And now the organization No Kid Hungry has turned down a donation of $200,000 from Tekashi. HA, this mess can’t even buy some good press.

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Chet Hanks Has Some Words For Tekashi69

May 12, 2020 / Posted by:

Tekashi69 was recently released into house arrest, due to the coronavirus (he was in prison on charges of racketeering, conspiracy, firearms offenses, and narcotics trafficking) but he was forced to do the 23 skidoo after revealing his current address. He also dropped his latest song, “Gooba,” which quickly broke YouTube’s record for the most-watched hip-hop video in a 24-hour span, a title previously held by Eminem.

Gooba” currently has nearly 116,689,000 views since dropping on Friday. He also currently has a recording contract worth an alleged $10 million. And he reportedly gained 700,000 new followers after returning to Instagram last month. But to poorly quote Shania Twain, that doesn’t impress Chet Hanks much, because there’s no way he’d ever trade places with Tekashi69.

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Famous Snitch Tekashi69 Had To Relocate After Revealing His Own Location In An Instagram Post

May 11, 2020 / Posted by:

Moving during coronavirus must suck. But child-touching Rainbow Brite on acid AKA Tekashi 69 has to do it because he’s a dumb fuck. The felon, who is on house arrest, inadvertently let everyone know where he was and had to move since he’s a snitch and snitches get stitches, etc… If Tekashi wants to hide out in a place where nobody will find him, he should try a shower since nobody will ever look for him there.

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Tekashi 6ix9ine Is Out Of Prison Thanks To Coronavirus

April 3, 2020 / Posted by:

Hide yo children (for real), because 23-year-old Tekashi 6ix9ine is free(ish).

The knock-off Garbage Pail Kid was let out of prison yesterday and allowed to serve the rest of his sentence at home because of coronavirus. Tekashi tried to get house arrest earlier this year, and got denied, but then corona happened and his lawyers argued that he’s at risk because he’s got asthma. And just like that, Bill Cosby has clutched his chest in his cell and cried about having a major case of the wheezies.

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