Category: Saved!
Open Post: Hosted By The Little White Dog Who Had To Be Rescued After Going For A Solo Dip In The Pacific
Yeah, this Open Post could be about Chase McColl, the Long Beach, CA marine safety officer who heroically paddled out to rescue a dog from the clutches of the Pacific; but it’s probably more about Tofu (who’s been referred to as both a “he” and a “she” depending on the outlet, but it’s Women’s History Month, so “she” it is), the hot bitch who had no regard for her own mortality when she fled from citizens trying to round her up as she ran loose and waltzed right into the Pacific Ocean before realizing shit had gotten really real. Watch and learn, Demon Dog Ralphie!
Shia LeBeouf Vehemently Denies That Olivia Wilde Fired Him From “Don’t Worry Darling” And He’s Converted To Catholicism
Don’t worry about all those repugnant things Shia LeBeouf has done or been accused of, or will do or be accused of, because all is forgiven. In an effort to rehabilitate his career, if not his personality, Shia’s been saved! USA Today reports that Shia has taken his latest role, an Italian priest in a biopic called Padre Pio, to heart and converted to Catholicism. Shia is so pious now that he’s become a crusader for truth. As such, after Olivia Wilde told Variety she fired him from Don’t Worry Darling, God led his hand straight to his saved messages folder and told his new convert to impale her with his mighty sword of truth. Shia reached out to Variety after Olivia’s interview was published and shared a number of text messages, videos, and emails that contradict Olivia’s claim. Shia says he quit. And then some. It’s a MESS. I’m afraid Olivia’s been served in public once again. Good thing those messages didn’t burn up when he was rolling with Satan. God only saves those who save themselves by saving those receipts!