Open Post: Hosted By The Little White Dog Who Had To Be Rescued After Going For A Solo Dip In The Pacific

Yeah, this Open Post could be about Chase McColl, the Long Beach, CA marine safety officer who heroically paddled out to rescue a dog from the clutches of the Pacific; but it’s probably more about Tofu (who’s been referred to as both a “he” and a “she” depending on the outlet, but it’s Women’s History Month, so “she” it is), the hot bitch who had no regard for her own mortality when she fled from citizens trying to round her up as she ran loose and waltzed right into the Pacific Ocean before realizing shit had gotten really real. Watch and learn, Demon Dog Ralphie!

People says Tofu had been kickin’ it in solitude in a beach parking lot doing hood rat stuff when humans started to wonder where her owner was. But instead of allowing anyone to apprehend her, she snuffed out her joint (I assume) and ran into the ocean until lifeguards and the law showed up to fish her frizzy ass out of the water.

The Long Beach Lifeguard Association received a call on Saturday evening from a concerned citizen who noticed a small dog running loose in the Junipero parking lot of the beach, according to the Long Beach Fire Department’s Facebook.

By the time lifeguards arrived, the dog, Tofu, had decided to swim out into the Pacific Ocean. In response, a lifeguard — specified as Lifeguard 7 — put on a wetsuit and quickly swam out into the sea to fetch the pup.

Using his rescue board and buoy, the lifeguard caught up with Tofu and — with the help of a rescue boat — got the tiny dog onto his rescue board for a leisurely ride back to shore.

At the time of Tofu’s rescue, the owners were nowhere to be found, so the Long Beach Fire Department posted a video of the save and asked for the public’s help:

https://www.facebook.com/LongBeachFD/videos/219707293906081

The owners came forward a couple of days later, and the LBFD posted a slideshow of their time basking in Tofu’s greatness:

https://www.facebook.com/LongBeachFD/videos/772971500892889

But unfortunately, Tofu’s majestic mermaid stunt led to her having to get floofed up to stand before Tucker Carlson’s douche-squint as he asked lifeguard Chase hard-hitting questions such as “can dogs drown?” So it’s safe to say after enduring this special kind of torture, she’s learned her lesson!

A round of applause for hero lifeguard Chase McColl who rescued a little dog named Tofu who got swept out far from shore. 👏 pic.twitter.com/nZiWziyeLo

— The Post Millennial (@TPostMillennial) March 16, 2023

Pic: Long Beach Fire Department