Category: Robert De Niro
Robert De Niro Pulled That Anti-Vaxxer Documentary From The Tribeca Film Festival
Last week, Robert De Niro tried really hard to defend his decision to screen an anti-vaccination documentary by noted anti-vaxxer Andrew Wakefield called Vaxxed: From Cover-up to Catastrophe at this year’s Tribeca Film Festival. Robert DeNiro confessed that he and his wife, Grace Hightower De Niro, are parents to an autistic son, and that Vaxxed was very personal to him. He claimed that the reason he pushed for Vaxxed to be included in this year’s film festival was because he was hoping it would promote a “discussion.” He followed that up by claiming that he wasn’t personally endorsing the film and that he isn’t an anti-vaxxer, two statements that made everyone reach for their “Why the fuck you lying?” memes.
However, it sounds like the majority of the conversations started by Vaxxed began with the words “Bobby NO“, because Robert De Niro has gone and erased it from the festival lineup. Robert De Niro released a statement to The Hollywood Reporter about pulling Vaxxed.
“My intent in screening this film was to provide an opportunity for conversation around an issue that is deeply personal to me and my family. But after reviewing it over the past few days with the Tribeca Film Festival team and others from the scientific community, we do not believe it contributes to or furthers the discussion I had hoped for.
The Festival doesn’t seek to avoid or shy away from controversy. However, we have concerns with certain things in this film that we feel prevent us from presenting it in the Festival program. We have decided to remove it from our schedule.”
He doesn’t get into what those “concerns” were. But I’m going to guess one of them was whether or not the Tribeca Film Festival website had enough space on their servers to handle all the “friendly” reminders that vaccines don’t cause autism that they’d be sure to get if they kept it in the documentary category.
Poor Robert De Niro though. How busted does a movie have to be that you can’t even get it screened at your own film festival? I suppose if he still really wanted it to be shown, he could invent a special category for it. “And the award for Best Feature-Length Film Based On An Email Forward Or Rambling Facebook Post goes to...”
Pic: Splash
Grumpy Ass Robert De Niro Cursed Out A Tech Trick For Not Giving Actors The Respect They Deserve!
What’s the point of getting old if you’re not going to fully embrace your “get off my lawn” phase of life and retire from giving a fuck? Robert De Niro obviously gets it, because he’s been on a cranky roll lately and is reading bitches left and right.
Robert De Niro recently quit an interview, because he didn’t like the interviewer’s “negative questions” and told her, “I’m not doing this, darling.” And at the WSJ. Innovator Awards in NYC on Wednesday night, he verbally took a chancleta to a tech dude who made a joke. Page Six says that Stewart Butterfield (yes, that’s the name of a real person and not the name of a rejected Bond villain from the 70s), who co-founded Flickr and the app Slack, won an award and during his speech, he joked that he was a “long way from San Francisco” after pointing out all the famous people in the room. Stewart Butterfield then pointed out De Niro in the audience and said:
“I watched ‘Godfather II’ on the plane . . . when you killed Don Fanucci, I liked that.”
Well, Robert De Niro didn’t like that. De Niro got up to the mic to present St. Angie Jolie with an award, and before he did that, he spanked a bitch:
“Whoever the last speaker was . . . I thought you were a bit condescending to us actors . . . celebrities. I’m gonna go on record with you just to say that. And I don’t give a fuck who you are.”
Stewart Butterfield missed a good opportunity to really twist up De Niro’s chonies by saying “You talkin’ to me?” from the audience. But Stewart Butterfield did tweet that he loved getting trash talked by De Niro.
Yeah, Robert De Niro needs to get all the way over himself since actors aren’t untouchable jewels who shouldn’t be joked about, but at the same time I love a delusional old crotchety coot. I just want to follow him around for 5 minutes, because in that 5 minutes I’m sure he’d verbally abuse a pigeon for looking at him wrong and he’d try to fist fight his shadow for standing too close to him.
With that being said, his “give us precious actors the respect we deserve” slap down would’ve been 100% perfect if he added a “darling” to the end of it.
Robert De Niro Is Not Here For Your “Negative Interference,” Darling
Robert De Niro has made it pretty clear in past interviews that he’d rather get his asshole cleaned with boric acid than talk about himself and the movie he’s supposed to push. Robert De Niro pretty much hates interviews. So when Emma Brockes of the Radio Times asked him questions he didn’t like, he made like Naomi Campbell and Robert Downey Jr. and busted on out of there but not before he spit out what I hope is his new catchphrase: “I’m not doing this, darling!”
Robert De Niro Has A Butterfly Tattoo And Richard Gere Is A Sex Gymnast
Carole Mallory is an actress model type who was in a few movies in the 70s, but she’s mostly known for kissing famous dudes and telling everyone about it. Carole put out a book a few years ago about her 8-year-long relationship with Norman Mailer, and now she’s got a new book out about how she humped on Robert De Niro, Richard Gere and Peter Sellars back in the 70s. Carole was the premiere star fucker of the 1970s. Only the most famous and VIP of men were allowed into her coochie. There was a red velvet rope in front of it and everything. Like Studio 45! Carole Malley was the Superhead of her time.
Page Six, who published excerpts from the book, says that Carole started riding on Robert De Niro after she met him at the Chateau Marmont in 1975. They boned each other for two weeks straight and he never took his socks off:
“During lovemaking, he never stopped looking in my eyes. He had a butterfly tattoo that I later realized matched his flighty spirit. So did the fact he left his socks on. The following year he married Diahnne Abbott . . . I would have appreciated a phone call.”
Socks AND a butterfly tattoo? Robert De Niro was a 19-year-old trailer park slut circa 1997 before 19-year-old trailer park sluts circa 1997 existed! I really hope that butterfly tattoo is above his ass crack, because knowing that the Raging Bull has a tramp stamp would fulfill my life.
Carole also thought that Peter Sellars wore socks all the time too, until she realized that those weren’t black fur socks over his feet. It was his foot fur:
“I kissed him all over his hairy body. He had hair everywhere. He even had it on his back. I liked it. He reminded me of a giant panda bear.”
I think Carole just came out as a Plushie.
And finally, Carole talks about how Richard Gere worked her like she was a pommel horse and it was his final event at the Olympics:
“His gymnastic skills were apparent. He made love his way . . . He didn’t withhold. He was Valentino in the flesh. A sex symbol not to be forgotten. Not to be lumped in with all the others, but to be remembered for his uniqueness. His thoughtfulness. His caring.”
Why do I picture Richard covering his hands with chalk powder before sex times and then doing flips all around Carole and stuff? I bet Béla Károlyi was in the corner, coaching him. But seriously, Richard wasn’t doing gymnastics. The gerbil in his butt was just trying to get out, so he was squirming and doing all sorts of flips to push it back in. That’s all!
Bobby D vs. Jay-Z
The first line on the first page of every cell phone manual reads: “If Robert De Niro calls your ass, you either call him the hell back or drown yourself and this phone in the Hudson River.” Well, Jay-Z broke that rule several times. ILLEGAL!
According to Page Six, Jay-Z agreed to record a song for the Tribeca Film Festival and Robert De Niro called him up several times to discuss it. Jay-Z never called him back. So at Leonardo DiCaprio’s birthday the other night, Robert De Niro wasn’t going to act like everything is rainbow dicks and heart-shaped buttholes when Jay-Z strolled up to say hi. Some witness said that the entire party stopped to watch the Italian bull and the Brooklyn camel butt heads:
“Bob wasn’t in any mood to make polite conversation. He told Jay that if somebody calls you six times, you call them back. It doesn’t matter who you are, that is just rude. De Niro kept telling him that he thinks he’s the man, but that he was disrespectful. Beyoncé came over, but that didn’t calm Bob down. It was the talk of the party. Everyone was saying there’s only one star in New York bigger and badder than Jay-Z, and that’s Robert De Niro. He can be quite scary when he’s angry.”
It’s a good thing Leonardo DiCaprio was too busy gorging himself on a Victoria’s Secret Angel buffet to notice this fight, because it would’ve ruined his birthday.
The next time you see Jay-Z out in public, expect him to look like Michael Jackson, because when Robert De Niro shades you, you instantly come down with the worst case of Vitiligo ever. But really, who knew that Robert De Niro was so clingy. You’d think that after one unanswered call, he’d send Jay-Z a final message by putting one of Beyonce’s wig heads in their bed.