Category: Olivier Martinez
Halle Berry Is Getting Divorced For The Third Time
I probably need to tip you over and pour you out, because you’re probably filled with pure shock after finding out that a marriage between a crazy mess and a crazy mess is ending up in the gutter.
A few months ago, Radar said that Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez’s 2-year-old marriage was hanging on by a thread, because they hardly ever spent time together and she was worried that his violent asshole ways could put her kids in danger. Halle didn’t think to herself, “Err, maybe this situation isn’t such a good thing,” when Olivier smashed the pretty out of Gabriel Aubry on the driveway. The beginning of the end of their marriage came when Olivier attacked a pap with a carseat at LAX. That pap recently threw a lawsuit at Olivier and that lawsuit caused these two messes to fight. They’re both over it and Halle was the first one to take a machete to their marriage by filing for divorce.
Halle Berry’s Marriage To Olivier Martinez Might Be Over
Halle Berry was papped wearing her wedding ring while doing shopping stuff with her daughter Nahla Aubry in Beverly Hills, CA the other day, but Radar (I know, I know) says that her ring may soon find itself hitting Olivier Martinez’s face after she throws it at him before filing for divorce.
A source tells Radar that Halle Berry and her husband of only 2 years Olivier Martinez are separated and living in different places. He’s living in Malibu while she’s living with their 21-month-old son Maceo and her daughter in the Hollywood Hills. Apparently, their relationship started circling the drain only a year into their marriage. I always thought that Halle Berry got life from drama, but the source says that even she has her limits and she can’t deal with Olivier Martinez’s temper anymore. Olivier, of course, went batshit on Nahla’s father Gabriel Aubry and he followed that up by smearing a pap at LAX. After the messiness at LAX, Halle told Olivier that their marriage will be over unless he goes to therapy. I guess he never went, because he’s close to becoming Halle Berry’s third ex-husband. The source spit this out:
“It seems Halle and Olivier have finally hit the end of the road. They’ve weathered a lot of ups and downs in their relationship – but recently, Olivier has been completely MIA. Halle is telling pals she worries that Olivier’s runaway temper could put her kids at risk. They’ve just been delaying the inevitable split.”
Halle and Olivier won’t even have to announce that they’ve filed for divorce. We’ll know the minute one of them files for divorce, because her child custody lawyers will be seen busting into a kick line down the street as they sing, “We’re in the money, the skies are sunny,” while making their way to the Lamborghini dealership. Halle and Gabriel’s child support fight will have NOTHING on Halle and Olivier’s child custody battle.
That’s probably why the court in California rejected Kelly Rutherford’s case. They knew that they’ll soon have their hands completely full while dealing with Halle and her two crazy baby fathers.
Pics: Splash
It’s Nice To See That Olivier Martinez Is As Calm And Mild-Mannered As Ever
Sometime actor and whoop-a-trick grand champion Olivier Martinez may find his ass being investigated by the LAPD again after he attacked a dude with an empty car seat at LAX yesterday afternoon. I know, this is so out of character for Olivier Martinez, because he’s always been known to be a sweet, serene and calm soul who could tame a rabid hyena with his soothing touch. Olivier is practically human Valerian and medical professionals have said that if you’re having a severe panic attack and don’t have any meds on you, just suck on Olivier’s peen because he cums liquid Valium. He’s that calm.
While looking like a hitchhiker-murdering serial killer from the 70s, Olivier went through LAX yesterday with Halle Berry, their son Maceo and her daughter Nahla. Halle held onto Maceo and Olivier held onto a car seat as they walked passed a bunch a paparazzi. LAX Airport Police tell TMZ that at one point the paps got really close to Olivier and his family and so he responded by using the car seat as a battering ram to knock a trick over. TMZ has video of Olivier shoving what looks like an airport employee to the floor. The airport employee complained about stomach pain, so the paramedics were called and he was treated at the scene before he was shuffled off to the hospital. On a scale from Kristen Stewart to Bjork, Olivier Martinez’s act of airport rage falls somewhere in the middle.
In Olivier’s defense (I hate myself for typing that), the airport employee he attacked was trying to take pictures of the baby. TMZ has a different video of the airport employee joining the pack of paps by recording video of Halle and her family with his phone. When I saw the first video, I let out a “Bitch is gonna get sued.” When I saw the second video, I really let out a “Bitch is gonna get sued,” because that airport employee might need some cash since he’ll probably be out of a job soon.
And since Halle and Olivier are getting some bad press, expect TMZ to post a story from an “inside source” who claims that Gabriel Aubry is a member of West Hollywood’s KKK chapter and once murdered an LAX employee and used bones from the dead body to make a car seat which he made Nahla sit in several times.
Pics: FameFlynet, Splash, Wenn.com
Gabriel Aubry Can’t Get Steady Modeling Work Ever Since Olivier Martinez Punched The Pretty Out Of Him
On the left is Gabriel Aubry before Olivier Martinez wished his face a Happy Thanksgiving by turning it into a pile of mashed pretty in 2012 and on the right is Gabriel Aubry a few months ago. I know, Olivier Martinez’s fists should really be on death row for permanently beating the hot out of Gabriel’s face and transforming him from an adonis chiseled out of fine porcelain into a child-scaring fug face. Even Quasimodo is looking at Gabriel’s current day mug and saying, “Damn, stay inside, boo.”
Last month, Halle Berry’s lawyer filed papers in court to try to get Gabriel Aubry’s monthly child support payment reduced from $16,000 to JUST $3,800. Halle cried that she’s sick of Gabriel mooching off of her and he can easily get his ass a job. Halle argued that $3,800 is enough to take care of their daughter Nahla’s expenses and he can make his own money to pay for his own expenses. Halle and Gabriel have 50/50 custody of Nahla.
TMZ says that Gabriel’s lawyer has clapped back at Halle. Gabriel has tried to get modeling work, but ever since crazy Halle’s crazy piece Olivier Martinez turned his face into a plate of chilaquiles on her driveway 2 years ago, his modeling career has dried up. Gabriel claims that it took 6 months for his face to heal back to normal and he’s only booked 3 modeling jobs since then. TMZ called Gabriel out by posting a picture of his face just a few weeks after it met Olivier’s fist and it looks all healed up. Gabriel never filed a civil suit against Olivier for messing with his hotness. The cops apparently thought at the time that Gabriel started the fight.
Halle’s lawyer also spit out a list of expenses that Gabriel uses Nahla’s child support cash on and argues that he can pay for all of this crap himself if he got a job:
$740 a month for Gabriel’s “Fitness”
$940 a month in clothing (Gabriel lists Nahla’s clothing expenses separately — $675 a month)
$700 a month for Gabriel’s health insurance
$1,975 a month in car expenses
$1,100 a month in furniture and electronics
Oh, the trials and tribulations of the rich! $740 on “Fitness“? Are the barbels he uses made out of solid gold? Is his personal trainer Jodie Marsh? Does he go to Equinox, because I’m pretty sure their monthly membership fee is a vital organ and or the deed to your soul. The $700 on health insurance makes sense. Gabriel has to get one of those premium plans, because his health and face are in danger as long as Olivier Martinez is still around.
But seriously, Gabriel’s money situation is worse than I thought. That $1,100 a month on furniture and electronics tells me that he might be getting his shit from a Rent-A-Center type place. MAN DOWN CODE 10. I really hope the judge sees that, immediately strikes down CrazyAsHelle Berry’s request and raises Gabriel’s monthly child support payment. Because none of us should be able to sleep at night knowing that Gabriel Aubry might be sleeping on a bed from Rent-A-Center!
Halle Berry Didn’t Name Her Son Simba
Over the weekend, Halle Berry birthed out the adorable ball of human that she’ll eventually use as a pawn in a messy custody battle when her relationship with Olivier Martinez crumbles into a million pieces because they’re both crazy bitches. They kept their mouths shut about details. They didn’t burp out their son’s name and they didn’t say whether or not Halle tore Olivier’s throat out since crazy bitches + labor usually equals somebody getting viciously murdered. But TMZ claims they know the kid’s name.
Halle and Olivier only had one job to do. All they had to do was name their kid Simba and we’d all be happy. But since they both have to ruin everything, they didn’t name him Simba. They supposedly named him Maceo Robert Martinez. Maceo means “gift of God” in Spanish and in a couple years when Halle and Olivier are throwing dishes at each other during dinner, he’ll think to himself, “Um, did this God person give you crazies a gift receipt?”
I thought Maceo was pronounced MACE-EH-OH, which would’ve been sort of fitting since Halle will probably mace Olivier a few times before they break up. But my mom says it’s pronounced MAH-SAY-OH. It’s a cute name, but I’m sure Maceo will one day be pissed that they didn’t name him Simba.
Here’s Olivier, looking not as zombie-ish, and Nahla at the pumpkin patch today.
Halle Berry Spawned
E! reports that Halle Berry gave birth to some new drama potential a boy yesterday at Cedars Sinai Hospital in LA. That’s all we know right now. We don’t know the name. We don’t know if Miz Halle and her pugilistic husband Olivier Martinez will trip the “over the moon” alarm in the inevitable press release. We don’t know if Olivier celebrated the birth of his son by driving to Gabriel Aubry’s house and beating the shit out of him. We don’t know if Halle has already filed for full custody of the baby. Cuz’ you know this wouldn’t be Halle Berry: The Continuing Saga Of A Crazy Bitch without baby #2 being fought over in a heated courtroom battle. Nahla already has her “do you believe this shit?” face readied for her new brother.
Doesn’t it seem like Halle is trying to insure that her legacy is Lifetime miniseries-worthy? Blue Ivy Carter has already been approached to eventually play Halle. She turned down the script as “contrite” and noted that “basic cable is for lessers”.
Here’s some pics of Halle leaving RivaBella restaurant on Friday, and Olivier on his motorcycle headed out to thrash some male models as a push present for his lunatic bride the day before.
Pics: WENN
