Kim Kardashian Tries To Ride A Blue Wave

While the rest of us are struggling to get vertical after yesterday’s street parties and hangovers, Kim Kardashian is trying to keep up appearances and fling a bulbous protrusion in every corner in order to cover her ass, so to speak, and placate her many masters.

We laugh dismissively, but try to put yourself in her shoes for a moment. She faces the swift and prickly wrath of control-freak Pimp Mama Kris, the incoherent, spiteful splatter of oxidized bronze delusion from Donald Trump, and last but not least, the vicissitudes of lofty genius and Sunday Service finger-wagging of God via husband Kanye West.

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