Sources Say King Charles III May Permanently Exile Prince Harry From England

Watch out Great Britain and its Commonwealth subsidiaries; there’s a new sheriff in town. And by sheriff, I of course mean unelected figurehead of an archaic, parasitic institution still perpetuating the myth of the divine right of kings. God’s newest special baby, King Charles III, ain’t your mum’s monarch. You won’t find old Chuckie Trips cooing at corgis and coddling his kids like his mother THE QUEEN. According to The Daily Beast, Chuckie Trips don’t play when it comes to his wayward son Prince Harry, and he’s about to get medieval on his ass. Or, more accurately, he’s reportedly prepared to go Prewar Era on Harry’s ass by having him “permanently exiled” from the kingdom, much like his great uncle King Edward VIII was after abdicating the throne in 1936. And Harry’s not the only Royal who might find themselves on the smooshy underside of Chuckie Trip’s iron fist. His brother Prince Andrew is reportedly stressed that Charles is going to kick him and his ex-wife Sarah Ferguson out of their 31-bedroom Royal Lodge house in Windsor now that mum isn’t around to shield him with her ample bosom. Damn, if I knew Charles was gonna be this ruthless, I wouldn’t have had all those ball caps made that read “Make The Crown That Bitch Again.”

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