Hayden Christensen’s Friendship With Emma Roberts Might Have Broke Up His Relationship With Rachel Bilson
Uh oh. I guess this means that a big, huge smile isn’t the only thing that runs in the family?
When the news broke that Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen had broken up after almost ten years together, it was rumored that they split because he didn’t like to go out and she did. It turns out there might be a little more to it, and it might be that Rachel was convinced Hayden was staying in with someone else.
Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen, a couple almost more mid-2000s than Ryan Cabrera taking a picture of a choice male hottie Teen Choice Award with a Motorola Razr phone, have recently split after 10 years together. One of the details given about the current status of what’s going on is that they’re “completely, officially done.” If People magazine’s source is to be believed, they’re completely, officially done because Rachel liked to go out and do stuff and Hayden didn’t.
Tall glass of 2% milk Hayden Christensen and paper Dixie Cup of cucumber spa water Rachel Bilson have broken up after almost 10 years together. According to UsWeekly, they’ve been living separately for a few months with her in L.A. and him in Toronto, they now “they are completely, officially done”.
And just like that, the My Life Got Shittier After The Release Of The Star Wars Prequels club gets its newest member. Following in the footsteps of Jake Lloyd and Natalie Portman, Hayden Christensen is calling out Star Wars for ripping a stinky fart on his career. During a recent interview with the Los Angeles Times, Hayden admitted that there was a reason why you went from seeing his dumb face everywhere to seeing it only when you searched the words “10 Worst Characters in Star Wars” on the internet. According to Hayden, he didn’t think he deserved to be famous, so he pulled an Irish Goodbye on Hollywood.
“I guess I felt like I had this great thing in Star Wars that provided all these opportunities and gave me a career, but it all kind of felt a little too handed to me. I didn’t want to go through life feeling like I was just riding a wave.”
“You can’t take years off and not have it affect your career. But I don’t know – in a weird, sort of destructive way, there was something appealing about that to me. There was something in the back of my head that was like, ‘If this time away is gonna be damaging to my career, then so be it. If I can come back afterward and claw my way back in, then maybe I’ll feel like I earned it.'”
Hayden didn’t retire from Hollywood completely; after Star Wars II and III, he made a couple films (like the trashy treasure Factory Girl). He recently slipped into some Sears catalog dad drag and tried to tip-toe back in with 90 Minutes in Heaven.
I wonder who will be the next to grab the mic and spit out some hot, sad truth about those Star Wars prequels? $20 says it’s Jar Jar Binks with an op-ed piece in the Naboo Sun-Times complaining about how the only acting work he’s gotten since Star Wars was an appearance in a promotional video for a herpes drug and a late-night commercial for a Gungan phone sex hotline.
Rachel Bilson And Hayden Christensen Just Had A Baby, And Apparently They Are Huge Sleeping Beauty Fans
Since I’m a Canadian person, I’m sure some of you are expecting me to say something snarky about that Maples Leafs hat on Hayden Christensen’s head. But to be completely honest, I don’t much care for hockey. I know, I should have my citizenship revoked.
Us Weekly says that Rachel Bilson (aka Summer from The O.C.) and her boyfriend Hayden Christensen (aka NOT SETH) are now the parents of a baby girl. Cue “The Circle of Life” from The Lion King! And while neither Rachel nor Hayden have confirmed the news themselves, multiple sources claim that their new baby’s name is Briar Rose. “NOOOOOOOOOOOO” screamed Blake Lively, as she crosses the top name off her Disney Princess baby name list.
In case booze has killed your last remaining brain cell containing the memories of your childhood, or you’ve just plain forgot, Briar Rose is the alias used by that narcoleptic trick Princess Aurora when she goes to live in the woods with those hot Golden Girls fairies in Sleeping Beauty. I want to like that name, but believe it or not, I’ve known two Briars, and they were both stuck-up bitches. But I’m sure it’s just a coincidence, and Baby Briar Rose Bilson-Christensen will grow up to be cool and not a jerk who makes fun of my last-season L.A. Gears.
Or maybe Hayden wanted to pay tribute to his Canadian roots by naming his baby after what is arguably the most Canadian thing in existence, the Tim Horton’s Brier! Hayden – it’s not too late! You can still change that baby’s middle name to Céline!
No, not the Darth Vader, although James Earl Jones does has a hot voice; but I’m guessing his 83-year-old pepaw sperm retired to the lanai with a bag of Werthers and an ice cold glass of Ensure a long time ago. No, we’re talking about Darth Vader 2.0 Hayden Christensen, who knocked a baby Ewok up into the uterus of his girlfriend of 7 years Rachel Bilson, according to Us Weekly:
“They’ve both talked about this for awhile and are so excited,” a Bilson insider tells Us. “Everyone is beyond thrilled for them.”
Everyone is thrilled for them. Marissa Cooper is thrilled for them. Ryan from Chino is thrilled for them. Jar Jar Binks is thrilled for them. And I’m thrilled I could do a good deed today by mentioning the names of three people who could really use some current publicity.
Typically this is where I pop a bottle of Baileys in memoriam of Rachel’s freedom, since pregnancy usually means trading in nights spent sucking off boxes of wine and bongs for getting elbow deep in warm baby caca for the next couple of years. But Rachel recently admitted that she “did all the drugs and alcohol” before she got famous and she hasn’t really felt the need to party ever since, so I’ll raise a congratulatory warm glass of lemon water to her and Hayden instead.