Category: Douche Fumes
Jessica Simpson Claims That Publicists Advised Their Clients Not To Date Her
While we’re clearly supposed to wonder exactly which clients were told to steer clear of Jessica Simpson, now 40, way back in 2005 when she divorced Nick Lachey; all I can do is scratch my head at why Jessica’s publicist at the time didn’t go full four-legged parent, grab her by the scruff of the neck, plop her behind a tree, and warn her not to date professional douchewad and all-around indiscreet creep, John Mayer. This is the sound advice we all need in life and would have spared her a lot of misery.
This question will forever go unanswered, and John is now douchebagging his way through the totally pristine and untrodden (to him) terrain of white male privilege, wondering little more than how to parlay this pseudo-woke chapter into landing more napalm ass. Jessica, on the other hand, took some time out from wearing real fur while promoting her memoir, Open Book, to appear on The Drew Barrymore Show and talked about how back in the day, publicists told their clients to RUUUUN from her.
Josie Canseco Has Moved On From Brody Jenner To Logan Paul
It seems that Josie Canseco’s thirst for douche fumes knows no limits. According to TMZ, Josie’s got a new man in her life after breaking up with Brody Jenner back in October. Josie is now dating Logan Paul, yes, the worst Paul in a race where both Paul brothers are handicapped to the point of having had their limbs removed and so they have to complete the race on their bellies using only the power of their abdominal muscles and tongues (perhaps why Logan’s is so frequently sticking out of his mouth, he’s resting it). But as you can see above, Josie’s a practitioner of tongue propulsion herself, so they’re kind of a perfect match.