Category: Cool Moms
Cool Mom Took Her Cool Daughter To The Chanel Show Today
By looking at that picture, you may think that the Chanel show took place in another galaxy where the attendance was all rich aliens. It didn’t. It happened in Paris and was attended by rich humans. Although some aliens did manage to get an invitation, like intergalactic teenage nonsense philosopher Willow Smith and her mom Jada Pinkett Smith.
It’s not exactly a surprise that 15-year-old Willow is hanging out at a fashion show in Paris in the middle of a Tuesday, since the Smith children don’t do regular school. But it’s not like she’s doing it for fun; Willow was just named Chanel’s newest brand ambassador. Plus I’m pretty sure attending a haute couture fashion show is technically considered a field trip in the Smith family’s un-school curriculum. And since it would be irresponsible to send a 15-year-old on a field trip without an adult present, Jada joined her. Jada has apparently moved on from that whole Oscars boycott situation, so she has the time.
I’ve never been to a fancy-ass fashion show, but from what I’ve gathered, it’s proper to show up wearing shit made by the designer. I see that Jada got the memo – although those jeans do look a little Old Navy. But I have no idea what is happening on Willow. She looks like a Scientology superhero designed by John Travolta (“I call her The Incredible Audit“). But if Chanel HBIC Karl Lagerfeld is responsible for what Willow is wearing, and he probably is, then he should probably expect to receive a copyright infringement notice from the producers of Galaxy Quest.
Here’s more of Cool Mom Jada and Cool Teen Willow posing for their lives outside of the Chanel show earlier today.
Pics: Splash
CPS Is Investigating The Pinkett-Smith Family Regarding That Picture Of Willow In Bed With A 20-Year-Old
After THOSE PICTURES of a 13-year-old Willow Smith hanging out on a bed with a shirtless 20-year-old Moises Arias turned everyone on the internet into Helen Lovejoys and commanding Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith to puhLEEEASE think of the children and start keeping tabs on theirs, it was really only a matter of time before someone at CPS put down their folder on the Jenner girls (“Forget it Lou, they’re too stupid to put back to school”) and realized that the Smith children might need a visit. According to Radar, the Los Angeles Department of Children & Family Services have opened an investigation to see just what’s going on over at Casa del Kewl Parentz:
“The investigation was formally opened last week and is being taken very seriously by the department,” an insider told Radar. “Will and Jada Pinkett Smith have been extremely cooperative with officials. Of course, they aren’t happy that their parenting skills are under scrutiny, but they understand.”
The source revealed, “Social workers will also be talking separately with Willow, and they also want to talk to the young man in the picture with her as well. This won’t just be one or two visits with the family, and it will likely be an open investigation for at least a month, out of an abundance of caution.”
Normally I’d be the first person to tell CPS to calm the fuck down and get back to investigating important shit, like moms who pack jelly bean sandwiches and Skoal in their kid’s lunch or rich toddlers who keep getting arrested for hoodrat stuff, but someone needs to find out if any goddamn parenting is happening at that house. Willow and Jaden Smith are like Dickensian orphans; their parents are never around and the only authority figures are shirtless weirdos, they don’t go to school but they also don’t work, they play with trash. They just sort of spend their days hanging around and looking like futuristic street urchins, like The Rich Kid Oliver Twists of Instagram. “Haven’t seen me mum n’ dad in nearly a fortnight I ‘ave! Hey Govnah, trade you me favorite clip-on nose ring for a ride to the mall?”
Cool Mom Alessandra Ambrosio Brought Her 5-Year-Old To Coachella
I’ve never been to Coachella (there but for the grace of god go I) but what I’ve gleaned from the millions of pictures I’ve seen of Coachella, it’s really just an excuse for a bunch of assholes to get together and take selfies in the desert while listening to future American Idol montage songs, and that literally the only thing that makes Coachella tolerable is shovelling a shit-ton of drugs in your mouth and drinking till you forgot your last name. But I guess Victoria’s Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio didn’t read that page of her Coachella brochure (which comes stapled to a crop top) because when she returned to Coachella this weekend she brought along her 5-year-old daughter Anja.
I would think that Coachella would be about as fun for kids as a trip to Discount Carpet Warehouse, because unless you’re tripping balls, standing in a hot field for 3 days posing for pictures sounds boring as fuuuuuuck, but this picture of Anja that Alessandra Ambrosia Salad posted to Instagram makes it look like she’s having an ok time and not cry-whining “I WANT TO GO HOOOOOOME”, so who knows? Maybe kids are meant for Coachella. Or maybe Anja is rolling hard on Pedialyte and really feeling a set by Arcade Fire. Either way, I think we can officially declare this to be the final nail in the coffin of Coachella’s coolness (which says a lot, since people have been nailing that coffin shut for years now).
Here’s more of Alessandra dragging Anja around Coachella this weekend. I will say this about Alessandra: snaps for setting limits with your child and not letting Anja dress up like the rest of the children at Coachella.
