Category: Ashton Kutcher
Ashton Kutcher Posted His Phone Number On Twitter Claiming To Miss “Real Connection”
Ashton Kutcher would like to talk to you. And you, and you, and you, not you, and you! He recently posted his “personal” phone number on Twitter and asked the general public to reach out to him. He wants to have “a real connection” and I guess if that means receiving pictures of your dog’s vagina, so be it. Unfortunately, the number’s gone now. While Aston did interact personally with a number of fans, he deleted his post and blamed fragile “sms” servers for his retraction. But was Ashton really just a lonely soul, shivering away in our cold, impersonal digital landscape? Anyone who believed that must have missed his previous post where he announced he was changing his “social media strategy”. According to Wired, his heartfelt plea for connection was nothing more than a phishing scam. Somewhere Justin Timberlake’s crying his eyes out again.
Ashton Kutcher Will Take A Photo With You After He Hits You With His Car
If I was walking down the street and suddenly got hit by a car driven by Ashton Kutcher, I would pull out my wallet and ask: “So how many dollars do you stuff in here before I agree not to call a lawyer?” But when Ashton Kutcher recently hit a man on a scooter, it ended with a photo posted to Instagram.
Mila Kunis And Ashton Kutcher Will Not Be Giving Their Children Trust Funds
Having famous, rich, attractive parents sounds like winning the kid lottery. But for Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher’s kids, it’s closer to winning $200 on a scratcher than hitting it big on Powerball. The Kunis-Kutchers are planning to eschew nepotism and force their kids make it on their own. According E!, Ashton appeared on his Punk’d pal Dax Shepard’s Armchair Expert podcast and revealed that his kids aren’t getting trust funds from mommy and daddy.
Ashton Kutcher Went Into The Woods To Deal With Divorcing Demi Moore
Breakups can be a real bitch on the emotions and tear ducts, but I always view them as an excuse to binge eat, toss back a liter of whiskey, and listen to my Spotify playlist called “Sylvia Plath Fantasia.” Not everyone takes my approach (idiots), and that includes Ashton Kutcher. He’s blabbing this week that he handled his divorce with Demi Moore by living for two weeks like I imagine a Björk/Bon Iver baby would live out a lifetime by fasting and living in the woods for a week. Continue reading
Mila Kunis And Ashton Kutcher Aren’t Giving Their Kids Christmas Presents This Year
It’s three weeks until Halloween, which means we’re already…what, two, three weeks into talking about Christmas. Mila Kunis has Christmas on the brain, because she’s promoting A Bad Moms Christmas. She’s also a mom to two little kids. So what how are Mila and Ashton Kutcher celebrating Christmas with their kids this year? Well, not with presents, that’s for sure.
Trent Reznor Has Words For Trump And Ashton Kutcher
Nine Inch Nails was one of those bands I pretended to like when I was a kid in an attempt to seem cool. All I really knew about them was their lead singer seemed angry, and that someone accidentally put the second N backwards on their logo (that’s why you don’t go use a discount graphic designer!). Well, several decades on, and their lead singer Trent Reznor is still angry about stuff. In a weirdly random turn, one of the things he’s angry about is Ashton Kutcher. Not as random: Trump.