Lori Loughlin And Mossimo Giannulli Will Finally Plead Guilty, And Have Agreed To Serving Prison Time

Lori Loughlin and her husband Mossimo Giannulli have finally used a tub of Crisco to pull each other’s heads out of their own asses and admit that they were in the wrong when they paid $500,000 to get their daughters, Olivia Jade Giannulli and Isabella Rose Giannulli, into USC through the university’s rowing team even though those girls probably thought that “rowing” was a term for sitting front row at a fashion show. Lori and Mossimo’s ride up shit creek without a paddle (“Why are you looking at us? You know we don’t have a damn paddle” – Olivia Jade and Isabella Rose) ended with prosecutors saying, “Aunt Becky and Mossimo, you’re going to want to smear some La Mer on your hands to protect you from this extremely delicate slap on the wrist.” Lori and Mossimo took a plea deal and in exchange for pleading guilty, she’ll get two months in “prison” and he’ll get five months. I put “prison” in air quotes because I’m sure these two have another trick up their sleeve and that trick is using COVID-19 to get out of stepping foot in an actual cell.

The Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli tags on this site are longer than her IMDB credits because they tried everything to get their case dismissed and were probably thisclose to asking her old TV nieces, The Olsens, to put a black magic spell on prosecutors. Ever since they were charged in March 2019, Lori and Mossimo have claimed they did nothing wrong and the $500,00 they paid wasn’t a bribe but a charity donation. They also accused the FBI of getting College Admissions Scandal ringleader, Rick Singer, to incriminate them by lying. But after prosecutors publicly released evidence (like those staged rowing pictures and Olivia Jade’s tragic resume) that made them look guilty, I guess they realized that they ran out of cards to play and took a plea to avoid trial, which was set to start in October.

NBC News says that Lori has agreed to plead guilty to one count of conspiracy to commit wire and mail fraud. Mossimo will plead guilty to one count of conspiracy to commit wire and mail fraud and honest services wire and mail fraud. Lori’s punishment deal includes two months in prison, a $150,000 fine, two years of probation, and 100 hours of community service. Mossimo’s punishment deal includes five months in prison, a $250,000 fine, two years of probation, and 250 hours of community service. U.S. Attorney Andrew Lelling said this about the deal:

“Under the plea agreements filed today, these defendants will serve prison terms reflecting their respective roles in a conspiracy to corrupt the college admissions process and which are consistent with prior sentences in this case. We will continue to pursue accountability for undermining the integrity of college admissions.”

If they didn’t take a plea and tried their luck at trial, they were each facing over 40 years in the clink. They will formally plead guilty in front of a judge tomorrow morning and then the judge will just have to sign off on the deal.

Lori and Mossimo are the 23rd and 24th parents to plead guilty in the College Admissions Scandal. Felicity Huffman pled guilty and got 14 days in prison but only served 11 days. Hot Pockets heiress Michelle Janavs, who also paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to get her daughters into USC, also pleaded guilty and got five months prison time.

But because of coronavirus, Michelle Janavs and Douglas Hodge, another College Admissions Scandal parent, tried to get out of serving their time in an actual prison and asked the judge to let them serve their sentence in their own mansion (which is practically like a prison, right, Ellen?). The judge denied that request but said that Michelle and Douglas can wait until June 30 to turn themselves in. Michelle’s sentence was due to begin last month.

Okay, but neither Michelle nor Douglas are an award-winning actress (hey, something called a Prism Award counts!) so don’t underestimate Aunt Becky. You know that when she pleads guilty in front of a judge tomorrow morning, she’ll have an oxygen mask on and take it off before coughing while weakly saying, “Sorry, my asthma is really acting up,” as COVID-19 looks at her like, “Here we fucking go….”

Pic: Backgrid