Hot Pockets Heiress, Michelle Janavs, Was Sentenced To 5 Months In Prison In College Admissions Scandal

February 26, 2020 / Posted by:

NBC News says that another affluent person has been sentenced in the College Admissions Scandal. It’s been almost a year since we all learned the shocking news that rich privileged assholes use their wealth to shamelessly get ahead in life, like illegally paying their children’s way into university. Since then, Felicity Huffman pleaded guilty and did 11 days of a 14 day sentence in prison, and Lori Loughlin has been spiralling as more and more charges keep getting lobbed against her and her husband, Mossimo Giannulli. Well, another rich person has bit the dust, and been sentenced to five months in jail. Hot Pockets heiress, Michelle Janavs, is going to prison for 5 months, and now that I’ve mentioned Hot Pockets, that jingle will be imprisoned in your brain for at least 5 months.

Michelle was sentenced for using $300,000 to get her three daughters into USC. Sound familiar? Lori is going to hate this song. Michelle was accused of giving ringleader of the operation, Rick Singer, $100,000 so a proctor could correct ACT exam answers for her two daughters. Michelle, whose family is reportedly worth $4 billion, then paid another $200,000 so a third daughter could be “passed off as a star beach volleyball recruit.” Again, sound REALLY familiar? Michelle got arrested before her third daughter was admitted into USC.

Michelle pleaded guilty to wire fraud and money laundering charges and was sentenced to five months in prison (prosecutors asked for 21 months). She’ll have to turn herself in by April 7. She also has to pay a $250,000 fine and will be under supervised release for two years after getting out of prison. Michelle said in court: 

“I’m so very sorry I tried to create an unfair advantage for my children.”

That’s where the similarities between Hot Pocket lady’s case and Aunt Becky’s case stop. Because Aunt Becky is not sorry and not even fake sorry. Lori and Mossimo are accused of using $500,000 to get their daughters into USC through a sports team, just like Michelle. And Michelle is going away for five months after taking a plea. So hopefully Lori and Mossimo are really getting prepped by that prison consultant.

Michelle will probably serve a lot less than five months. But her lawyers laid it on thick, saying the embarrassment is punishment enough.

“The fallout from Michelle’s actions stand as a beacon to others that illegal shortcuts are a recipe for disaster, regardless of the punishment the court imposes on Michelle.”

How fucking bougie. “Oh jail is bad but the embarrassment to my rich friends and social circle is more than enough punishment.” 

And I DO think my father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel, would be pleased to hear that the Hot Pockets heiress went down!

Pic: NBC News

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