On this Christmas Day (otherwise known as Annual Gross Lovey Dovey Couples Hijacking Jesus’ Born Day By Announcing They Got Engaged Day), Prince Hot Ginge, Duchess Meghan, Prince William, and Duchess Kate did their second annual foursome strut to St. Mary Magdalene Church in Sandringham, only this time they were all probably thinking to themselves, “Smile something extra to kill those goddamn tabloids rumors.” Why do I have a feeling that before their little PR sashay to church, THE QUEEN texted all of them and recited Rose McGowan’s speech from Jawbreaker when she said, “You all are going to walk into that church and strut your shit down the hallway like everything is peachy fucking keen, get it?”
While Prince Philip, Prince George, Princess Charlotte, and Prince Louis stayed home (because why nap in an uncomfortable pew during a boring ass church service when they can comfortably nap at home in peace?), the other royals gathered at church. Kate once again dressed like an extra in It’s A Wonderful Life, and Meghan splattered herself in navy thanks to a coat and bag by Victoria Beckham, and a hat with two feather shanks just in case Evil Half-Sister Samantha Markle tries to crash the event. Prince William wore who cares, and PHG wore way too many clothes as usual.
At last year’s service, Meghan almost got banished from England after she performed a sad, shitty curtsy for THE QUEEN. But apparently, she’s been working on her curtsy and busted out a better one today. Skip to the 1:39 mark to watch Kate and a pregnant Meghan curtsy to the HBIC.
I bet Meghan dropped down a littler further than she had to, because she wanted us hard-up crazy PHG lovers to see her face get a little closer to his hot royal ginger crotch. How cruel of her! And on Christmas!