Lindsay Lohan Invited Her Old Crew (And Beyonce) To Her Birthday Party

June 28, 2017 / Posted by:

I’m using an old picture of Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton as wax figures, because Lindsay has a better chance of getting Paris’ wax figure to show up to her party than the real thing. But what’s the difference really.

Lindsay turns 31 on July 2nd, and she’s throwing herself a big party in Mykonos. Lindsay’s brain must have fired a faulty synapse and sent her back to 2005 when she was still friends with Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. Yesterday she tweeted them, as well as Beyonce, an invitation to her birthday party. Lindsay probably had to tweet them because the numbers she has for them in her old Sidekick were out of service.

Lindsay also tweeted a message to Emma Stone asking her to do Mean Girls 2 with her. But no birthday party invite? How rude.

But what is that guest list even? I guess Lindsay forgot that time Paris was seen laughing her ass off at Brandon Davis joking about Lindsay’s fire crotch. Or how Britney has long moved on from that messy awful pussy-flashing time in her life. Or how Beyonce definitely isn’t showing up and not because she just got home from the hospital with her twins.

So far, neither Britney, Paris, or Beyonce has RSVP’d on Twitter to Lindsay’s party. Lindsay says her family isn’t able to come to her birthday party either, and so a very high-looking Lindsay asked her fans for suggestions on Snapchat, and said she wants to create a green community.

Asking for people who want to create a green community is only going to create trouble. Lindsay’s inbox will soon be flooded with requests from “investors” who believe she owes them money. “Hey, a whole bunch of us – a community if you will – are missing some green. What time should we all be expected to show up?


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