Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Are Playing Nice Now

March 22, 2017 / Posted by:

Two months ago, I’d make a joke that St. Angie Jolie is using her holy finger to point at Brad Pitt and say, “Ha, I’m with stupid.” But now, she’s using her holy finger to point at him and say, “Yeah, I’m still with stupid, but he’s stupid AND nice now.

Up until early January, Brad and Angie were shanking at each other and trying to drag each other’s pristine reputations through a puddle of diarrhea. One was accusing the other of fucking up their children by making their custody battle so public. The other was accusing the other one of not wanting the public to learn the terrifying truth! They finally decided to take their ugliness behind closed doors. And now, sources are telling both People and E! News that Brad and Angie have gone from communicating through slam pieces on TMZ to actually talking to each other directly.

Maddox and Pax didn’t want to see their dad’s face two months ago, but now they’re apparently hanging out with him again. Everything is rainbow farts and lily pads now!

“He’s much happier. He’s very relieved that things are not playing out in public anymore. He’s always been extremely positive about how Angie’s a good mother, and the goal was to resolve everything for the kids and the whole family, and they’re working toward that.

He is spending more time with the kids when they are in L.A. He has even spent some time with Maddox and Pax. Things are definitely calming down.”

E!’s source says that they’re close to agreeing on a custody situation. Last we heard, Angie wanted primary physical custody of all six kids.

Sad Artist Brad has supposedly been spending up to 15 hours a day going all Demi Moore in Ghost by sculpting while listening to sad songs, so I have a feeling that shit is going to get messy again when he unveils his finished work to the public. Angie will prepare for another round of shanking when he unveils his sculpture: a devil horned Angelina Jolie breaking his most prized possession, a bong, while shitting on his other most prized possession, a pair of transition sunglasses.

And Brad can try it, but nothing will ever come close to topping the magnificence of my favorite Angie Jolie sculpture (which I’m guessing was made using pieces from Jack Nicholson, Chazz Palminteri and Ian Somerhalder wax figures).


Pics:, Buzzfeed/

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