Category: Sadness

Anne Meara, Of Stiller And Meara, Has Died

May 24, 2015 / Posted by:

Anne Meara, actress, writer, comedian and Ben Stiller’s mom, died today. She is now holding hands with the A Beautiful Mind math genius as they make their way up to heaven. Anne was 85 years old.

Anne’s husband of 61 years (which is 5,678,998 in Hollywood marriage years) Jerry Stiller and Ben Stiller confirmed her death to the Associated Press. They said that she had died of natural causes.

Anne Meara married Jerry Stiller in 1954 and after they performed in the improv group that would later become Second City, they formed the comedy duo of Stiller and Meara in the 60s. Stiller and Meara were on The Ed Sullivan Show and the starred in a 5-minute long short comedy program that ran right after Saturday Night Live in the 70s. They also did radio ads for Blue Nun Wine together. When the whole variety show game started to disappear, Anne and Jerry did their own thing professionally. Anne started acting in TV shows and movies and over the course of her career she was in everything from Rhoda to Archie Bunker’s Place to her own show Kate McShane to The King of Queens to Reality Bites to Zoolander, etc… etc.. Children of the 80s probably know her as the grandma in ALF and Sex and the City watchers known her as Steve’s mom.

A rep for her family released this statement:

“Anne’s memory lives on in the hearts of daughter Amy, son Ben, her grandchildren, her extended family and friends, and the millions she entertained as an actress, writer and comedienne.”

Rest in peace, Anne. If I had a bottle of Blue Nun Wine, I’d pour some out for you right now.

Pic: Wenn.com

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B.B. King Has Died

May 15, 2015 / Posted by:

If you happen to be a person named Lucille (sidebar: how luck for you to have such a glamorous name), today is the day you call in sick to work and spend the day at your local Guitar Cente offering condolences to all the other Lucilles, for they have lost the wind beneath their strings.

According to a statement from his lawyer to the Associated Press (via TIME), blues legend – and that’s a deep understatement – B.B. King died peacefully in his sleep last night at 9:40 pm in Las Vegas. He was 89 years old. He leaves behind approximately 15 children, 50 grandchildren, and 9 B.B. King Blues Clubs.

B.B. King (born name: Riley B. King) bought his first guitar when he was 12 years old, and unlike most 12 year olds with a guitar (hangs head in shame), he practiced his ass off and got really good. So good that he became a mentor to people like Eric Clapton, Keith Richards, and Jimi Hendrix. B.B. King got the nickname “The King of Blues” because he pretty much owned blues music. I’m sure if you type the word “blues” into the internet, it comes back “Did you mean B.B. King?” His biggest hit was probably “The Thrill Is Gone“, which coincidentally also sums up this news about B.B.’s death.

I knew B.B. King for music, but I really knew B.B. King for his One Touch diabetes commercial that played after every episode of Maury.

I must have seen this commercial 500 times, and I never get sick of it. I will truly miss you and your gorgeous Magic Eye picture shirt, B.B. King. Rest in peace.

Pic: BB King

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Joni Mitchell Is Reportedly In A Coma (UPDATE: No, She’s Not)

April 28, 2015 / Posted by:

UPDATE: According to a note on her website, Joni is still in the hospital, but she’s not in a coma and is not close to twirling up to heaven.

Contrary to rumors circulating on the Internet today, Joni is not in a coma. Joni is still in the hospital – but she comprehends, she’s alert, and she has her full senses. A full recovery is expected. The document obtained by a certain media outlet simply gives her longtime friend Leslie Morris the authority – in the absence of 24-hour doctor care – to make care decisions for Joni once she leaves the hospital. As we all know, Joni is a strong-willed woman and is nowhere near giving up the fight. Please continue to keep Joni in your thoughts.

Here’s the original post:

Well, damn. Prayer circles were formed late last month when 71-year-old Joni Mitchell was found unconscious at her home in Bel Air, CA and was taken to UCLA Medical Center. The other day, I wondered how she’s doing and today I got my answer. The answer is: She’s in a bad, bad way.

The day after Joni went to the hospital, her rep said that she was in “good spirits” and was awake. A few days later, her Twitter account said she was resting comfortably and getting better each day. I’m not sure what happened between now and then, but TMZ says that she’s now in a coma and is responding to nothing. TMZ found out, because Joni’s friend of a million years, Leslie Morris, filed documents to become her conservator. Apparently, Joni has no close relatives who could take the role. The documents also say that Joni is “so impaired as to be incapable of being assessed.

Joni’s rep hasn’t said anything about this yet. Joni’s official diagnosis isn’t known, but she has talked about having a condition called Morgellons (again, DO NOT GOOGLE THAT) and once said that years of smoking fucked with her singing voice.

QUICK! Somebody whisper the words, “Joni, they just greenlighted a biopic about your life starring Taylor Swift.” Maybe she’ll wake up to slap a trick hard.

And back to the prayer circle…

UPDATE: In a note that just went up on Joni’s website,

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One Of The Twins From Everybody Loves Raymond Has Committed Suicide

April 24, 2015 / Posted by:

Well, this is a whole lot of sad for Friday morning. The Hollywood Reporter says that Sawyer Sweeten, one of the twin brothers from Everybody Loves Raymond, shot himself on the front porch of his family’s house in Texas on Thursday evening. He was 19 years old, and leaves behind his twin brother Sullivan. If you’ll excuse me, I need to find the nearest pile of pillows that resembles Marie Barone, because I need a hug. Sawyer’s older sister Madylin, who played his older sister Ally on Raymond, released a message about her brother’s death on Facebook saying:

“At this time I would like to encourage everyone to reach out to the ones you love. Let them have no doubt of what they mean to you.”

Sawyer’s Raymond co-stars have also released statements about his death, including Patricia Heaton, who tweetedThe entire cast of #EverybodyLovesRaymond is in shock. Prayers for the Sweeten family” and Ray Romano, who said:

“I’m shocked, and terribly saddened, by the news about Sawyer. He was a wonderful and sweet kid to be around. Just a great energy whenever he was there. My heart breaks for him, his family, and his friends during this very difficult time.”

I’ve probably seen every episode of Everybody Loves Raymond at least 6 times, so this is making me feel things. Although I did picture Sawyer being greeted by the ghost of Peter Boyle in the afterlife, and that made it a bit better.

I can’t find much about Sawyer’s life post-Raymond on the internet, but it looks like he was a Metallica fan. Sawyer, you had great taste in music; when I play “Nothing Else Matters” today, I’ll think of you. RIP Geoffrey Barone.

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Goodnight, Sweet Princess

April 21, 2015 / Posted by:

Tinkerbell Hilton, the most likeable member of the Hilton family, has sprouted angels wings and has floated off to the wonderland up above where closets don’t exist and she doesn’t have to go to Kitson four times a day while wearing a Strawberry Shortcake dress. Paris Hilton sadly announced on Instagram today that the iconic matriarch of her band of purse dogs died of natural causes at the age of 14, which is 72 in dog years.

riptinkerbell

Tinkerbell Hilton was born on Halloween in Athens, Greece and Paris bought her from a breeder when she was a puppy. She was the true star of The Simple Life and probably the inspiration for Beverly Hills Chihuahua. And yes, she has an IDMB page. I can’t even imagine the things that Tinkerbell saw in her 14 years. If only dogs could write memoirs. She would’ve given us the tell-all of tell-alls.

My own chihuahua is taking his 53rd nap of the day, but if I’m able to catch him between naps, I’m going to make sure he pours one out for his own.

Rest in peace, Tinkerbell.

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Now Tina Brown Is Saying That Bobbi Kristina Is Off Life Support And Awake (UPDATE)

April 20, 2015 / Posted by:

While wearing the white suite I wore to my communion, Bobby Brown told the audience at a show in Texas on Saturday night that his daughter Bobbi Kristina Brown is awake and watching him. Half of the audience probably got whiplash when they whipped their necks around to see if Bobbi Kristina was in the back of the audience watching Bobby B. I figured that Bobby was just saying that Bobbi Kristina is in “his heart.” But now Bobby Brown’s sister Tina Brown is straight-up saying on Facebook (via E! and TMZ) that Bobbi Kristina has woken up from a nearly three month coma and is off life support. I’ve tried to interpret Tina Brown’s note different ways, but there’s really no other way to interpret it and there’s 6 smiley faces in her message, which means she’s one hundred percent serious.

So many messages,sorry can’t answer them all right now but I will get to them later..just allow me this time with my family,,yes,she woke up and is no longer on life support!!!!!:):)God is good!!thanks for your prayers,,still a process,but she is going to be ok:):):):).”

Friends have also left messages on Tina Brown’s FB page saying that Bobbi Kristina is awake and off life support.

The Houston family hasn’t said anything about this and zero statements have come from Bobbi Kristina’s doctors. A source tells People that from what they know, her condition hasn’t changed and she’s still in a coma.

As far as I know, there’s been no change. We’re still hoping and praying that God will perform a miracle. We are leaving it in God’s hands.

Another source told Gossip Cop the same thing. Tina Brown is the same auntie who is reportedly shooting a reality show right now and has been blabbing to the press about Bobbi Kristina’s condition. So I’m throwing a level 2 Cissy Houston face at her FB post for now. And I can’t fully believe this until I see Dr. Phil flying through the sky after butt squirting out a geyser of excitement over possibly getting the first interview with Bobbi Kristina.

UPDATE: A Houston family source has thrown a level 5 Cissy Houston face at Tina Brown, because they told TMZ that Bobbi Kristina is still in a coma and on life support.

“She’s in the exact same condition she was in when she went into the facility.” They say there is “minimal” reaction … an occasional eye blink, but that’s it.

Gilbert Blythe From Anne Of Green Gables Has Died

April 19, 2015 / Posted by:

Children of the 70s are in mourning over the death of Thelma’s football player husband in Good Times, everyone who was around in the 90s are mourning the death of Johnny Kemp, abuelitas are in mourning over the death of Sábado Gigante and now Canadians and children of the 80s are mourning of the death of actor Jonathan Crombie who played Gilbert Blythe in several Anne of Green Gables movies. Everyone is wearing a black lace veil today.

Jonathan Crombie, who was also the son of former Toronto mayor David Crombie, died of a brain hemorrhage in NYC on April 15th. He was only 48. Jonathan’s sister confirmed his death to CBC News.

Jonathan played Gilbert Blythe, Anne’s boo, in Anne of Green Gables, Anne of Green Gables: The Sequel and Anne of Green Gables: The Continuing Story. He also played Gilbert in an episode of Avonlea. In addition to the Anne of Green Gables movies, he was in episodes of The Good Wife and 21 Jump Street and he made his Broadway debut in The Drowsy Chaperone. Megan Follows, who was the Anne to his Gilbert, remembered Jonathan with this sweet statement:

“He was incredibly funny, Jonathan just had an amazing sense of humour. Truly I just remember at times just laughing so hard that you’d just be crying. He was so playful and silly and as I said really bright, so his humour was always informed with that, which made him even funnier. He had that beautiful face. He was a lot of fun he was very open so you just felt he was someone who really wanted to play and it really was a new experience for him. We were all just in it to do the best that we could and we had a lot of fun.”

In the 5th grade, one of my friends was really into Anne of Green Gables. I’d go over his house a few times a week and he’d make me watch Anne of Green Gables every single time. He knew all the words and everything. His mom, who only spoke Chinese, later learned English from watching Anne of Green Gables with us over and over again. After about the 50th time watching it, I eventually started crushing on Gilbert Blythe and wanted to fight Anne for his hand. A piece of Canada and and a piece childhoods of the 80s have died.

Rest in peace, Gilbert Blythe.

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Idris Elba Thinks We’ll Never See Idris Elba As James Bond, And It’s All Our Faults

April 8, 2015 / Posted by:

Sad news for those of you who have spent the past four months on your knees praying to St. Hollywood that Idris Elba would be chosen as the next James Bond, because according to Idris Elba, it’s probably not going to happen. And the reason it’s not going to happen is because we wanted it too much. Originally, Idris Elba was laughing off the rumor, but during a conversation with London’s British Film Institute (via THR) yesterday, he made it clear that we’ve got a better chance of seeing a Kardashian with a deflated ass than seeing Idris Elba as Bond:

“Honestly, it’s a rumor that’s really starting to eat itself. If there was ever any chance of me getting Bond, it’s gone.”

No! Say it ain’t so, Luther! Unless I hear it from Mr. Bond himself (I don’t know anything about James Bond, but that sounds sort of right to me), I refuse to believe the dream is dead. I don’t want to live in a world that would deny us the chance to see Idris Elba stroll out of the ocean in a pair of junk-hugging short shorts or lighting panties on fire with the sight of him in a red diaper and thigh-high boots. Yes, I know that’s Zardoz, but my mind chooses to believe that just like former James Bond Sean Connery, Idris Elba would also choose to follow up his role as 007 with some sexy sci-fi future fuckery. Is it too much to ask for a half-naked Idris Elba? Just let me have this Hollywood! Come on, I saw The World Is Not Enough twice – I think I deserve this.

“The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” Did Not Kill Dr. Frederic Brandt

April 6, 2015 / Posted by:

Famed dermatologist, the godfather of the Pores No More skincare line and former HSOTD Dr. Frederic Brandt was found dead in his home in Miami yesterday at the age of 65. Dr. Brandt’s rep Jacquie Trachtenberg said at the time that he died of an illness he had been suffering from for a long time. She didn’t say what the illness was or what he died of. A quick second after Dr. Brandt’s publicist released that statement, a reporter in Miami tweeted that the illness he suffered from was depression and that the parody of him on The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt broke him down and destroyed him. On Kimmy Schmidt, Martin Short plays a character that is clearly based on Dr. Brandt. So some outraged people on the Internet screamed for Martin Short and Tina Fey to be tried for their crimes!!!!!!! But Dr. Brandt’s rep later released a statement confirming that he committed suicide and said that a character on a Netflix show wasn’t the reason why.

“The show definitely deeply hurt him, he was being made fun of because of the way he looks. It is mean, and it was bullying. But the show was not the reason for his depression, and it was not the reason he would take his own life.”

Madonna is wearing her cheek cutlets at half-mast today, because she was Dr. Brandt’s most famous client. She once said that he’s the reason why she’s got clear skin. His other clients included Kelly Ripa, Stephanie Seymour and many more fancies.

Dr. Brandt was called the Baron of Botox (Side note: Nicole Kidman better honor the Baron of Botox by wearing a mourning veil for months) and he apparently invented the Botox neck lift and a lift where he injected filler under the cheekbones. Dr. Brandt said this to Interview about his process:

“What I try to do is to make your face look like it did when you were younger. I always tell people it’s not just about filling in the lines, but re-creating the shape of your face as it was in your early- or mid-twenties. People see the lines as they age but they don’t see how their shape is changing. I think it’s all about restoring the contours. You can fill in a line and it makes you look a little better, but it doesn’t make you look younger.”

I’m with Dr. Brandt. I try to look like I did in my early 20s, but I do it without fillers and changing my face shape. I just always make sure I’ve got pillow marks on my cheek, dried vodka drool on the side of my mouth and random crusty jizz balls stuck to my hairline.

Rest in peace, Dr. Brandt.

Pic: Getty

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Celine Dion Says Her Husband René Angélil Is Currently Not Doing So Well

March 25, 2015 / Posted by:

Well, this is enough for me to dive head-first into a tub of Grenache and attempt to eat away all the sad feelings I’m feeling. Legendary Canadian person and greatest singer in (chest thump) da world Celine Dion recently admitted during an interview with ABC News (via UsWeekly) that her husband René Angélil has to eat through a feeding tube due to his ongoing battle against throat cancer.

René was first diagnosed with cancer back in 1999 and had a tumor removed in 2013, but things are apparently not getting any better. Celine says the cancer is currently preventing him from being able to use his mouth or eat on his own, so she hand-feeds him three times a day. Celine added:

“We are taking life one day at a time, [but] we are choosing to live.”

Celine also said that she’s dedicating her upcoming show in Las Vegas to René:

“I’m doing it for him. I’m doing it for my fans. We have a ticket to live. We have a ticket to ride. We’re living, so live. Let’s go.”

Oh mon Dieu, this is all sorts of sad. Celine doesn’t deserve this! Celine should be spending her days singing at the top of her lungs in the bathroom of her choice, not worrying about feeding her husband. Even if you’re not a religious type, now is the time to grab your prayer candle and get lighting. Then again, we all know all the prayers in the world are nothing compared to the healing power of Celine’s French Canadian angel voice. Keep singing Celine!

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