Category: Sadness

Farewell, Boo

January 19, 2019 / Posted by:

If you’ve got a dog friend in your life, tell them to stop what they’re doing (taking their 18th nap of the day, probably) and pour out some of their kibble for Boo the Pom Pom. Boo was an internet star who had more Facebook followers than all of us combined times a million (unless your name is Vin Diesel, and if that’s the case, that last line isn’t for you and I’m also going to need you to serenade Boo with one of your touching nightingale bro ballads) and was once declared the World’s Cutest Dog. Sadly, the fluffy ball of animatronic teddy bear adorableness died yesterday morning at the age of 12.

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Farewell, Captain

January 2, 2019 / Posted by:

We’re not even two full days into 2019, and the Grim Reaper has already given the hug of death to three famous 76ers. WWE interviewer Mean Gene Okerlund died today. He was 76. Bob Einstein (who was on Curb Your Enthusiasm and was Super Dave Osborne) also died today. He was 76 too. And now comes the news that Daryl Dragon, who was Captain to Toni Tennille’s Tennille, died due to renal failure today in Prescott, Arizona. And like Mean Gene and Super Dave, he was 76. QUICK, form a power prayer circle around Harrison Ford, Barbra Streisand, Judge Judy, Betsey Johnson, and other famous 76ers.

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Penny Marshall Has Died

December 18, 2018 / Posted by:

All together now: NOOOOOOOOOOOO. And more NOOOOOOOOS.

The legendary Penny Marshall is doing the saddest schlemiel schlimazel dance up to heaven after dying at her home in the Hollywood Hills last night. She was 75. Penny’s rep Michelle Bega confirmed this Mt. Everest-sized sad, saying that she died from diabetes complications:

“Yes she did (die) … peacefully at her Hollywood Hills home. She passed away form complications from diabetes.”

Because I watched reruns of Laverne & Shirley over and over again (and happened to love when they moved to Burbank, and partly because we got Rhonda), it’s weird knowing that this is now a world without Laverne from Laverne & Shirley in it. But Penny Marshall was so much more than Laverne.

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Roger The Buff Kangaroo Is Now Making Gains In Heaven

December 10, 2018 / Posted by:

(Side note: Since my idea of weightlifting is lifting a can of Pringles while on the couch, you might be thinking that I learned the bro phrase “making gains” from watching a gay porn scene that takes place in a gym. And you’d be right.)

The floor at the gym in heaven is covered with kneeling muscle bros bowing down to a legendary buff icon as he waddled on in. Roger The Buff Kangaroo, who became an internet star and won Hot Slut of the Month in 2015, has died at the age of 12. No, Roger didn’t die in a lifting accident gone wrong. That’s not possible since Roger could lift ANYTHING. Roger died of the olds.

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