David Lynch’s Dune got not-great reviews when it came out in 1984. I have no idea why; it has prime 1980’s hotness Kyle MacLachlan and Sean Young, tons of leather, and Sting in a 3D printed-looking bikini, which basically makes it perfect. And about two years ago we learned that Dune was finally about to get remade by Denis Villeneuve. Today we’re learning that the Dune remake could star Timothée Chalamet.
I’m saying it could star Timmy, because according to Deadline, he’s currently in talks to play Dune’s lead character, Paul Atreides (previously played by Kyle MacLachlan). Deadline says Timothée is in final talks, which means there’s a very good chance you’re about to see Timothée with a tube up his nose, if that’s the direction Denis decides to take this film.
Dune is complicated as all get out, so it’s in Denis’ best interests to have a cutie like Timothée up on the screen to help distract everyone in the audience from thinking “What the hell is this shit all about?” For those who don’t know, Dune is set years in the future where people have created these wormholes allowing them to travel between solar systems. Also they’re really into this drug they call “the spice.” Paul Atreides is an aristocrat with superhuman powers. Additionally, there are literal giant sandworms that live on the drug planet. See what I mean? It’s confusing. But no more confusing than the worms will be when Timothée’s character tries to avoid getting eaten by offering the worms a peach. (Cut to a worm looking uncomfortable) “Uh…yeah, I think I’ll pass.”
Mean girls Scott Rudin and Amy Pascal are not ready to give up on making Cleopatra happen. After the 2014 Sony hack revealed how they really felt about proposed star Angelina Jolie, things looked like they were heading in the direction of a gargantuan celluloid disaster the likes of which had not been seen since, well, since Cleopatra. But now, The Hollywood Reporter is saying that Blade Runner 2049 director Denis Villeneuve is in talks to take on the probably cursed project.