Brie Larson won a lot of Best Actress awards last year for Room, so this year she got the job of presenting Best Actor at a few award shows. Casey Affleck won many Best Actor awards this year. Brie had to say Casey’s name twice and when she did, she did it with the least amount of enthusiasm as possible. I’ve seen STD results delivered with more oomph. Brie’s excitement level was set to “I’d Rather Be At The DMV On A Monday Morning” when she handed Casey the Golden Globe, and she didn’t clap when he won the Oscar. Brie meant to do all that.
All throughout award season, you couldn’t hear Casey Affleck’s name without the recently-resurfaced allegations from 2010 that were brought against him by two women who worked on his fake documentary I’m Still Here. Casey later settled with them out of court.
Casey briefly talked about the allegations a couple of times including during his acceptance speech at the Golden Globes where he mentioned the “noise” his kids have to deal with. Casey finally addressed the allegations head-on. Which is funny, since I don’t know that anyone would want to literally make contact with Casey’s greasy head.
And so does the face on the guy behind Denzel Washington.
When Casey Affleck won the Best Actor Oscar last night, a huge chunk of the audience stood up for him. Mel Gibson was probably thinking to himself, “Oh, sure, I get blacklisted from Hollywood for years for hating Jews, terrorizing women and being an overall demon piece of shit and yet you stand up for Casey Affleck’s creeper ass?” Actually, Mel Gibson would never think that. Mad Mel’s not that self-aware.
We’ve been shitting up post after post from last night’s Adele Appreciation Ceremony (Featuring Adele Appreciating Beyonce), but another awards show happened yesterday. Two weeks before Hollywood gets dressed up in $15,000 gowns to lick each other’s taints and jack one another off at the Oscars, they got into $15,000 gowns to lick each other’s taints and jack one another off at the BAFTAs last night.
And it’s not because Sylvester Stallone was seated across from him and had to look at his janky beard and matching stringy hair situation all night. It’s actually the opposite of that. Sylvester Stallone wanted to sit at same table as Casey Affleck at the Golden Globe awards. In fact, he and his wife Jennifer Flavin were supposed to be seated at a table that included Casey and Matt Damon. But People says that when they went to sit down during the opening number, they noticed there was only one open chair and the story took a dramatic turn.
No, that is not a screen shot of Ben Affleck making the face that his brother Casey Affleck made while jacking it to Vicki the Robot from Small Wonder. I don’t hate you that much.
Ben Affleck was on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night to whore out his Prohibition turd, Live By Night, and during the interview he pretended to be highly offended over his brother Casey Affleck not thanking him at the Golden Globes on Sunday night. Ben got revenge on Casey for not giving thanks to the trick who made it all possible by burping up embarrassing facts about his brother. One of those embarrassing facts about Casey included him fapping while watching Small Wonder. I blame Casey Affleck for the reason why Jamie Lawson went on to live under a bridge.