Taylor Swift Made John Mayer Sad For Doing What He's Done To Many Other Hos
Before we get into this mess, let me remind you what John Mayer said about Jennifer Aniston in 2010:
"There was a rumor that I had been dumped because I was tweeting too much. That wasn't it, but that was a big difference. The brunt of her success came before TMZ and Twitter. I think she's still hoping it goes back to 1998. She saw my involvement in technology as courting distraction. And I always said, 'These are the new rules.'..."
And Jessica Simpson:
"That girl, for me, is a drug. And drugs aren't good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me... Sexually it was crazy. That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm..."
And how his body lotion jingle of a song "Your Body is a [size 2, vajazzled] Wonderland" is supposedly about Jennifer Love Hewitt.
So now, John Mayer has painful sores on his ass lips that secrete sad tears, because Taylor Swift kicked him hard in the b-hole with her song "Dear John" (not to be confused with the far more superior "Dear John" song). The song is supposedly about how John Mayer's David Duke dick dipped into Taylor's precious 19-year-old cherry orchard for a second and quickly dropped her to move on to the next scratch mark in his wooden bed post. John tells Rolling Stone that it was cheap songwriting on Taylor's part and she never even e-mailed him to tell him the song existed. It's raining WAH WAH WAH tears on this Summer's eve:
On how he never even hurt Taylor's dewicate feewings: "It made me feel terrible. Because I didn't deserve it. I'm pretty good at taking accountability now, and I never did anything to deserve that. It was a really lousy thing for her to do."
On how the real-life Anne of Green Gables got used douche water on her the tip of her pink cowboy boot by kicking him at his lowest: "I never got an e-mail. I never got a phone call. I was really caught off-guard, and it really humiliated me at a time when I'd already been dressed down. I mean, how would you feel if, at the lowest you've ever been, someone kicked you even lower?"
On what he thinks Taylor meant by the line "Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?": "I don't want to go into that."
On how Taylor turning her burn book into songs is a cheap move: "I will say as a songwriter that I think it's kind of cheap songwriting. I know she's the biggest thing in the world, and I'm not trying to sink anybody's ship, but I think it's abusing your talent to rub your hands together and go, 'Wait till he gets a load of this!' That's bullshit."
John Mayer is a dumb bitch for not knowing that when you mess with Taylor Swift, she's going to write all about you in yumberry-scented ink on purple pastel paper and eventually turn that journal entry into a hit song that drunk high school girls will sing to on Karaoke Revolution for years to come. Taylor Swift is a dumb bitch for writing a song about dumb bitch John Mayer and not knowing that he's the president and founder of the Hit It And Quit It Club. John Mayer is the Peter Pan of douchebags and Taylor Swift is the Peter Pan of songwriters. They both need to grow up. And yes, I typed "they both need to grow up" right before I farted in my palm to smell it.
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loopy u r hilarious!
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Submitted by loopygorilla on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 1:00pm.
Taylor Zellweger should 1. stop dating gay guys 2. stop fucking douches.
every day its either a new song about some guy who went shopping with her and they painted each others toe nails but then she walks in on him smoking some other guy's pole....
Or its a song about a guy who pummeled her and she thought he was the one but then he broke her heart...blah blah....
But Taylor never says in her songs whether she spits or swallows??? i think that is important information.
All I needed to see was "6:43" on the link to Taylor's song and I was out. She is a child. Reminds me of myself at 15, only I didn't write songs about boys, I just wrote about them in letters to my friends. When she is 30 years-old she will be mortified that she released that song at all. As for Mayer, hell, he is what, 32? He actually hasn't had that many relationships for a guy his age. (He'll never catch up to Clooney.) He doesn't bother me. He just has a weird sense of humor and no filter. At least he's honest. Ridiculous that the media focused on this, btw.
When Taylor falls for someone she probably falls super hard and I bet the guys have NO idea. What she needs to learn is men don't have a clue about women and they really are that lame. John Mayer should be flattered in my opinion and use the song as a teaching guide for his future.
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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As if anyone cares about this shit. Someone made a crappy song about you, wow. Both their music sucks ass. I don't think John is talentless, but he plays the same shit so many different way, shit get's old. And his facial deformities look uncomfortable, and painful. If I wanted to see pain in someones face I'd go to the ER.
who cares.
I'm John Mayer. I am a changed man. I wear a hat now.
Submitted by beware on Thu, 06/07/2012 - 1:05am.
Aand the face scrunching, rocking back and forth affectations were SO painfully contrived and rehearsed that they were excrutiating to watch.
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Lol, ya I can't really disagree, while talented he does tend to "oversell" the emotional aspect of "feeling the music go through him" but this is why I really like this performance, now he still does it to an extent but with BB there he had to calm down a lot more than he would otherwise and let his guitar do the work instead of his face lol!
It does show that the guy really is damn good but I do agree the he comes off like a total dbag all the time no doubt. Peace:)
@Whamo, thanks for the BB King clip, I'll concede Mayer can play after watching that. But his own music remains poppy junk. Aand the face scrunching, rocking back and forth affectations were SO painfully contrived and rehearsed that they were excrutiating to watch.
He should have known from her past relationships this would happen for example Joe Jonas, she put him on blast on Ellen. Anyways, they both are whiny bitches.
Submitted by crazyinjapan on Thu, 06/07/2012 - 12:29am.
I so agree.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 2:58pm.
Submitted by Fujicat on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 2:20pm.
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Sorry Fuj but I couldn't disagree with you more (don't hate me lol) but this to me is talent and there ain't no backing nothin on this, just one master and a guy who's pretty damn good in his own right.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6dnI1WsFrA
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Whamo, if that was all I ever heard from Mayer, I'd have to agree. Why does he behave like a douche and not do this more instead? Love B.B. dude's 86!! ♥♫♥♫
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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This guy's music sucks. His songs are boring. His public persona is very disagreeable. Taylor sucks too, but I'm glad she put him in his place in her also sucky boring music.
edit: Neither one of these mediocre twats would know a "hook" if it hit them in the face.
ugh john mayer if your feelings were able to be hurt by swifty then i just don't know what your life is like
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
"And yes, I typed "they both need to grow up" right before I farted in my palm to smell it."
MK, your writing has taken on a disturbing trend as of late that I find hysterical. I'm so glad I hung on for the last sentence.
Submitted by bonghits4jesus on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 6:15pm.
hi, could this be a duet? i wouldn't even pity fuck him.
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Lmao, of course we could duet. It would be a huge hit.
:)
Submitted by Fujicat on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 7:58pm.
Submitted by agirl on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 3:21pm.
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Thank you for pointing out that Eric Clapton blew Douchebag Mayer off the stage! I'm not a guitarist, but I'm a life-long musician, and I know real, and I know fake. Mayer is a poser and a fake.
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I love that you're talking about the musicianship - and if I may add, I saw Jeff Beck and Eric Clapton play together, and Beck blew Clapton away (which Clapton admitted and gave Beck his due). John Mayer shouldn't be allowed to wipe the sweat off of any blues players.
And more OT - the only interaction a 31 year old man should have with a 19 year old girl is when she takes his order at the drive-up window.
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If it looks like a stunt, walks like a stunt and smells like warm piss on burnt plastic, it came directly from Pimp Mama Kris' pimpin' hand. - MK
The tags on this one say it all. These two are perfect for each other.
http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/
This should also teach him a lesson to not stick his hitler dick in every Hollywood bimbo he meets.
His 'nice guy' act = I only bang hookers now. And good for him. That's where he should have begun his sexual shenanigans and never ended up anywhere else. As long as you don't lock them in a closet ala Charlie Sheen, hookers are a douche tard horn dog's bff.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by lora on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 6:11pm.
Submitted by youarestupid on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 2:31pm.
Taylor looks like something that lipstick gets tested on before being approved for the shelves. I haven't liked her and her "i can't believe i won my 50th award, this is such a surprise" surprised looking squinty ass. She is a deceiver of the highest order..a phony bitch. Kanye is forever my black white knight for pulling that stunt on Taylor at the mtv movie awards. If I ever saw her, I would personally chew a whole bag of Big League Chew and stick it in her hair.
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Okay, this is HILARIOUS. I absolutely agree - she is a very odd looking young lady. She is not unattractive, but she does have an unusual face.
Dont love Kanye, but I dont love her, either!
Submitted by agirl on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 3:21pm.
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Thank you for pointing out that Eric Clapton blew Douchebag Mayer off the stage! I'm not a guitarist, but I'm a life-long musician, and I know real, and I know fake. Mayer is a poser and a fake.
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It's sokay, Whamo..I love all of youguyz on the D..we don't all have to agree or this would be (*coughs a la Brad Pitt in a Diane Sawyer interview style * Just Jared * coughs) a boring place, indeed. I'm glad I got positive "beg to differs." That's what makes the world go round!
There are people (like Mayer) who spend their WHOLE lives taking music lessons, and can scale up and down a guitar neck. That doesn't make them natural musicians, or GOOD musicians. Jimmy Page (no slouch of a blues guitarist, himself) put many MISTAKES onto Zeppelin albums, because the FEEL was there. Blues is about feel. Mayer ain't got it.
As for songwriting, maybe he can write? Being generous here..maybe he has ghost writers, like so many "musicians" do. I refuse to listen to this asshat, and don't have any musician friends who do, either.
BTW, just heard the T.S. Dear John song on TV (quickly got the heaves and had to change the channel), and man, they autotuned the crap out of that floozy!
Glad I actually checked back into this comment section today. Cool! (I've only been around the D since 2004! lol)
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Fair is foul and foul is fair..
I don't know why people gush about this guys musicianship. You can walk into any Guitar Center in the world and hear a dozen guys riffing the same heartless riffs. Blues and jazz is something that has to be lived and technique is secondary. Words can't describe the disdain I have for this clown.
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What is her problem? She's just laying there...
Submitted by MadgesVadge on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 3:23pm.
Submitted by Fujicat on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 2:20pm.
J.M.'s "talent" is all hype coming from HIM. He's a wannabe wigga fake blues player who is rhythmically challenged and spastic. A person with no soul cannot play the blues. This self-righteous fake ass prick couldn't play the blues for real if his life depended upon it. No soul = No blues.
I'm kind of shocked so many D-Listers fell for this B.S. that John Mayer is "talented." A pretty boy with a pretty guitar who has had expensive music lessons and who has hired expensive studio musicians to back him does not a blues master make.
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Respectfully disagree. Douche or not, the boy can write the fuck out of a song.
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Concur in the respectful disagreement. He may be a douche of the highest order, but he's a very good blues/jazz/etc. guitarist.
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Please: It's "rahnday."
what a douchetard
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I wish I had multiple Alts, that way I won't be so lonely when I'm talking to myself
Most girls get treated like shit by an older guy by the time they're 17 at the latest. So 19 isn't too young, it's actually pretty old to have your first experience being treated like shit by an older guy.
Submitted by zomay on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 3:34pm.
hi, could this be a duet? i wouldn't even pity fuck him.
Submitted by youarestupid on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 2:31pm.
Taylor looks like something that lipstick gets tested on before being approved for the shelves. I haven't liked her and her "i can't believe i won my 50th award, this is such a surprise" surprised looking squinty ass. She is a deceiver of the highest order..a phony bitch. Kanye is forever my black white knight for pulling that stunt on Taylor at the mtv movie awards. If I ever saw her, I would personally chew a whole bag of Big League Chew and stick it in her hair.
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Lol High fucking five!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't stand either one of them.
Whatever.
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
I don't care if the nodules in his throat *cough*HPV*cough* prevent or don't prevent him from singing. I just wish they'd prevent him from speaking and tweeting.
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Please: It's "rahnday."
I think 'sexual bath salts' sounds better.
They are both turds. Mayer is just pissed that she didn't crawl away and lick her wounds in private.
Glad he's really turned a corner, you know, changed his life around. OH WAIT HE IS SPEWING THE SAME STUPID ATTENTION WHORE BULLSHIT THAT HE ALWAYS DID.
GO AWAY JOHN!!!!!
He's probably pissed because the lyrics hit home.
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"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen
She should enlist the aid of Sage Khia to pen a "get back at him" ballad.
YAAAAAAASSSSSS!
Pledge allegiance, bitch!
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Looks like John Mayor really is the pussy I thought he was! lol! He can't handle when the shit gets thrown at him. And in a song no less! Oh how his dick must shrivel at the though of no being adored. I love how he acts like he was some major victim being "kicked while down". Whatever! lol!
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 2:41pm.
You wrote what I was planning to say much more eloquently than I would have done it.
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Why, thank ya! I think I only write like that when I'm pissed off and hate someone, haha
if I got with this douche I myself would be douching with clorox for a year...he be g-a-rosssss....and passes the peen around way too much, too bad cause I like some of his music, but cannot stomach is uber douchiness any more.
I have never heard a single one of his songs and have only heard of him because of all the famous women he fucks and dumps. So...maybe less fucking and dumping, and more songwriting Johnny boy?
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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
I agree with his point about not being a cheap songwriter but there's nothing offensive about Taylor Darling's lyrics. He's just given her another reason to pick up that pink fluffy pen and My Little Pony journal of hers.
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"That bitch is scary. She really needs to be sat on a tricycle asking people if they want to play a game." - billykelly789-1 on Lady GaGa (IMDB 22/07/2011)
The only time I've seen him "playing guitar" it was at the Michael Jackson funeral thing or whatever; and he was seriously fucking MEDIOCRE. Never heard any of his songs but I bet they are a load of whiny SHIT and he has NO fucking talent.
John Mayer is the last man in the universe I would have sex with. I'm going to write a song about him being the last man I would have sex with.
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Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.
Eyeroll. I do enjoy John Mayer's music, but he is the most insufferable kind of stupid, whiny famous person. I saw him in concert a couple of summers ago at Lakewood in Atlanta, and I swear to Christ he spent more time babbling about his back injury and the drugs he was taking for it than he did playing/singing. I felt violated.
As for Taylor Swift, well, I can't say I wouldn't have done the same kind of bitchy passive aggressive call-out crap when I was her age. My radfem side has a real love/hate thing going with her.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
Taylor was probably amazed somebody tried to fuck her after dating gay guys. Mayer had been known to be douchey with women so I have no pity for Taylor.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 3:17pm.
Mayer is an indiscreet bigmouth so it's pretty rich that he is criticizing her for being an indiscreet bigmouth.
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Exactly. And he's just pissed because she is spot on about his whorey ways.
Submitted by Fujicat on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 2:20pm.
J.M.'s "talent" is all hype coming from HIM. He's a wannabe wigga fake blues player who is rhythmically challenged and spastic. A person with no soul cannot play the blues. This self-righteous fake ass prick couldn't play the blues for real if his life depended upon it. No soul = No blues.
I'm kind of shocked so many D-Listers fell for this B.S. that John Mayer is "talented." A pretty boy with a pretty guitar who has had expensive music lessons and who has hired expensive studio musicians to back him does not a blues master make.
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Respectfully disagree. Douche or not, the boy can write the fuck out of a song.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Submitted by Fujicat on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 2:20pm.
A person with no soul cannot play the blues. This self-righteous fake ass prick couldn't play the blues for real if his life depended upon it. No soul = No blues.
I'm kind of shocked so many D-Listers fell for this B.S. that John Mayer is "talented." A pretty boy with a pretty guitar who has had expensive music lessons and who has hired expensive studio musicians to back him does not a blues master make.
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LOL so true! I saw John Mayer once sharing the stage with Eric Clapton (one of those morning TV shows).
JM played for a while and he was workin' hard, sweating etc. and then EC stepped up and his playing was fucking effortless and exquisite. He made JM look like a clumsy four year old holding a guitar for the first time ever.
JM should have been embarrassed to be on the same stage as Clapton, who was GOD when JM was still shitting his diaper.
He should have taken off his guitar, laid it at Clapton's feet, mumbled something about "I'm not worthy" and left the stage never to return. That is the only respectable course of action for a wannabe like him to take when in the presence of real talent.
Mayer is an indiscreet bigmouth so it's pretty rich that he is criticizing her for being an indiscreet bigmouth.
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This loser is never going to grow up.
i thought this douchebag was gonna quietly go away...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
He should have listened to her music before he persued her, cuz paybacks are a muther. He is either stupid for addressing this issue or he must be into the humiliation cuz the gals on the view had a field day with this info today.
He's a douche and she's a payback music bitch. I KNOW Swift is a manhating lesbo.She should just come out now.