The WTF Factor
Brit Brit as an X-Factor judge sort of makes sense, because think of all the ad dollars from Starbucks, Frito-Lay and Taco Bell she'll bring in, and if she goes off the script that her puppet handlers will feed into her ear during the live shows, she could be entertaining. Like watching a trailer full of blond weave tracks slowly tumble down an embankment. But Demi Lovato?! Chaka Khan practically threw herself at Simon Cowell for the job and he gives it to a trick who is probably known by most of the world as, "?????????" Hell, Chaka could've pulled off her hair, dropped it into the judge's chair and it still would make a better judge than Demi Lovato. Seeing these four trollops judge a singing competition together is either going to be as awkwardly stiff as visiting your boyfriend in the mental hospital the morning after he had a nervous breakdown in a gay bar (true story) or it's going to be a glorious disaster.
Simon Cowell confirmed all the rumors at the FOX Upfronts in NYC today by officially announcing Brit Brit and Demi as Paul Abdul and Nicole Scherwhatever's replacements. Brit Brit's conservators will make $15 million from this and maybe give her a $20 a week as allowance. Demi will probably be paid in a validated parking pass and a $5 lunch voucher for the cafeteria.
In all seriousness, we shouldn't be surprised by Simon's choices, because what do you expect from a grown man who combs his hair so it looks like he's got a hairy butt on his head. I really hope John Travolta tries to fuck Simon's hair.
Here's a few pictures from Upfronts today and it's nice to see that Brit Brit still has a special way with making a $5,000 designer dress look like some shit from Rainbow.
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Don't forget some of that 15 million goes to two of her Conservators - dad and boyfriend - and to her leech of an ex-husband.
Who cares if she's not the best singer?? The last time I checked neither Simon Cowell nor LA Reid could sing. Most of the viewers can't sing, does that disqualify then from being able to "judge"?
$15 million for a train wreck who lip synchs 'live'? Please. So glad I canceled cable. Not paying $70-100/month for this shit anymore. It's more fun to read about than actually watch.
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"Oh you little bitch troll from hell!" -- Patsy Stone
I would kill for Brit's body. She and her man look awesome. I still have never heard of Demi except for the very occasional Dlisted post.
I am...doll parts...bad skin...doll heart.
is it just me or is there something weird going on with demi's makeup, it's really aging. i feel like i've seen a lot of terrible makeup work recently, maybe there is a shortage of artists or something??
also i think britney looks fairly normal here. still needs to wear a bra, though.
The golddiggers in her life like her dad, boyfriend and ex-husband don't give a shit if she chews off her fingers, as long as she keeps making money to support their ugly, fat asses.
Britney is thin and young, especially when compared to those two old geezers standing next to her. Simon and LA Reid time to hit the gym. Don't forget to put a bag over your faces. There's no amount of cosmetic surgery that will make you two look even remotely handsome.
M.E they look like they HURT! too
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Snowy - GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Those NAILS!!!!!
Wait I think I got it. They hired the young one to make Brit look thin. Well played, Jason Trawick. Well played.
@ Snowpiece: She bites her nails and cuticles. She always has, (I remember noticing that way back when, I believe it was her Sometimes single cover- I'm oldschool like that.) but most of the time she has on those tired ass acrylics which are way worse considering she's always missing one or two. Nope. Not doing shit at work today. No sire-ee.
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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
yes, Lucy, ITA!
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 05/15/2012 - 3:10pm.
LOOK at her nails!
Yeah, I saw that shit. This woman is so far gone. It's some Weekend at Bernie's shit they way they're pimping her around.
Isn’t Demi too young to be settling? Shouldn’t she be working on an actual career? What happens when she hits twenty?
Poor Brit. But hey, at least she's not stumbling around stage lip-synching to her own songs. Maybe she's content to finally sit back, enjoy her fame, and slur over a few comments on a shitty talent-show. Is this even on in America?
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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
LOOK at her nails!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2144832/X-Factor-USA-judge-...
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
I'm tired of seeing old ugly fat geezers like Simon and LA Reid. We need some hot young men as judges, who don't require Viagra to put it into 1st gear.
Simon needs to replace himself and LA Reid with people who can actually sing AND perform. The men also need to look good, as Britney and Demi are expected to.
Brit Brit! Looking great for your 40s! Way to go.
xfactor sucks.. american idol has seen it's day.. i like the judges but they dont pick the most talented people which is pretty confusing.. wouldn't you want the best to win? It's like the mix up some of the better people with okay people so they can kinda pick who they want to win..
brit looks like a trans.. doesn't she have a team to spruce her up a bit??
Why is Britney wearing two different outfits? Demi didn't change. Been a Brit fan since the start and like Demi too but this isn't going to work. They'll both be too nice to the contestants. I'd go with Demi over Brit but I'm mad I'm going to be forced to watch this crap! I just promised myself to never watch "The Voice" again and now I have this!
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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Why does Britney have to look so young when she's surrounded by a bunch old geezers like Simon and LA Reid. Those toads are in their 50's and they look it.
Britney doesn't need a makeover, that would be that toad face, overweight, short ass Simon and that sidekick LA Reid.
Apparently Britney needs legs strong enough to support all those male golddiggers like her dad, KFed, and now the boyfriend.
Britney does look like she is 40, yikes. Wasn't she suppose to get a full makeover for the show? I hope that is still in progress.
++ In the 5th+6th pics looks like Boyfriend/Handler is holding Brit-Brit's legs together, so there's no upskirt pics... LOL.
Also, she clearly isn't wearing a bra in the shoot. Cmon Brit, thought you learnt that one...
Came here to say y'all are bashing Brit-Brit for her velveeta grits earned Thighs, yet Demi's are near enough the same.
I feel terrible mocking an 19 year old girl, but look at the top of her arms and her hips. That dress was not the right choice for her.
It's ironic in a way, because on the UK X factor, Cheryl Cole and Dannii Minogue battled to both be size 0 poster girls.
lawd hab mercy..them legs. We got hogs wif legs smaller!
Miz Vavoline
You couldn't lift LA Reid and/ K Fed, even using your knees. Only a forklift would do for those two fatties.
You'd have to remember to lift with your legs NOT with your back when you tried to lift HER legs up over her head. That's a back injury just WAITING to happen:)
Britney looks good, but not great! She seems to be putting on her fake "I am sane and happy" look. Her legs are freaking huge!
Simon and LA Reid are midgets. It's always the short guys with small dicks who will do anything for money and power. Simon your show will tank because people know it's a tired theme. Get lost.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 05/15/2012 - 11:54am.
im sure simon would have hired xtina and britney if he had the chance, that woulda been a hot mess.
but since xtina is at the voice on a contract, i guess simon had to settle for another mickey mouse's bitch.
brit and demo were formerly mickey mouse's bitches, now they are simon's bitches.
yes 1direction is simon's creation from the british xfactor, i only heard about them when they came to australia and all the sudden the entire country was in 1direction fever and i didnt even know who the fuck they were.
Imma watch just to see Britney talk & interact.
Why does Simon the old cow always wear shirts that cover up his shriveled up smelly crotch? What's he hiding? Hmmm.
LMAO Loopy, can always trust you to bring the dirrrrrrty to everything hahahaha where's Xtina figure in all this?!
OffT: On a side-side note, FINALLY heard a One Direction song, hadn't heard a one, and they're a group right? They were as expected... *crickets* lol ;D
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Too bad he couldn't have gotten Mick Jagger and David Bowie.
Hey mani!!!! Me either. No interest before, and not now.
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Every single night's a fight with my brain
I just wanna feel everything
I just wanna feel everything
I just wanna feel everything
Miley would have been a better choice than Demi but I guess Cyrus wouldn't have taken this for one million.
Mariah Carey and Janet Jackson turned him down.
Simons show sucks anyway and this is just a big scam to get people to watch it...I'm not going to be part of this.
I didn't even notice the men. That is how unimportant they are.
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Every single night's a fight with my brain
I just wanna feel everything
I just wanna feel everything
I just wanna feel everything
Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 05/15/2012 - 10:08am.
seriously i wanna see and hear stories about how Demi and Brit Brit are fighting and shit.
fuck the peace loving sugar coated candy crap "oh britney and demi have become the greatest of friends, they even share clothes" stories on People Magazine.
I wanna see Demi demand for a bigger trailer because she says Brit is a has been crazy looney, and Brit responds back by attacking Demi with an umbrella and accuses Demi of being an untalented bitch who relies on Autotune.
i wanna weaves being pulled, pussy bones getting kicked and nipples being twisted.
Is Demi Lovato constipated? She's carrying too much ass baggage down below. She's going to be the real train wreck on the show.
Shitney lost whatever manufactured talent she had looooong ago. She's the star of this dreck, so her well-paid handlers won't let her look that stupid.
I have no idea who the black man is, but I guess they won't put a black man on TV unless he looks gay. It's the Wayne Brady Syndrome of TV.
Those two dumpy, ugly pricks are dinosaurs in their 50's! Yikes!
Simon's face looks like it's melting, which is pretty weird considering all that Botox has frozen his face. You still look old. What bugs me is how flat his face is. It's as if you can set a tray on top if it, without it tipping over. Button up that shirt, I don't need a peek at that flabby skin and those gray hairs. Put a bag over your face.
LA Reid, keep covering it all up with those suits. We don't need to see all that fat and cellulite underneath those clothes. Put a bag over your face as well.
Britney looks like she's 40.
What's up with Demi's concealer? Looks like someone painted white under her eyes.
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 05/15/2012 - 11:01am.
Thanks Hekki. I have DirectTv, so I have several Showtimes, because I am ashamedly a tv ho bag, so I will see if my channels have it.
Shitter will no doubt be sitting there chomping on a piece of gum looking dazed and confused.
Thanks toxicsparkles, I said it in jest and it's TRUE?! Unbelievable! I can't imagine what they can possibly bring to the table - other than a younger audience!? Hmmm answered myself *grumbles*
2012 is endtimes! Hahahah
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Dear Shitters,
Your legs be too damn stumpy to wear that shit.
It's funny how it's ok to expect Britney & Demi to look like perfect dolls with perfect bodies, but all the male golddiggers here are either fat (or all of the above): botoxed, ugly, wrinkled, old and short. That also goes for the rest of the golddiggers in her life: Dad, ex-husband, boyfriend. These two girls have to bring in the money AND look perfect doing so. The men? Nah, it's ok for them to pull the strings whole they keep on getting shorter, uglier, fatter, etc.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 05/15/2012 - 10:08am.
No idea why Lovato is even there, was Miley not available? LolOlolol
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Apparently Demi beat Miley for the job. I clicked on the LOL link on the JayZ post and it went to an article that said Miley may be considering hosting this mess. Do they need younger viewers that badly?
All four look like wax mannequins yet the Simon and Britney ones are melting.