Category: SoKo
Kristen Stewart And Alicia Cargile Are Back Together
Kristen Stewart and SoKo, the French singer who dresses like the youngest member of Kids Inc., stopped getting into some hipster clit wrestling with each other a few weeks ago, and it looks like KStew has rebound from her rebound with her ex-piece Alicia Cargile. Kristen and Alicia are currently in Cannes, as is SoKo. I don’t know how you say,”hipster lesbian love triangle alert,” in French, but I’m sure it sounds sexy and fancy.
While looking like the Bushwick version of Portia de Rossi and Ellen DeGeneres going to a funeral, KStew and Alicia went to the screening of American Honey at Cannes yesterday. They also held hands last night and Alicia carried KStew’s Vans for her. So either Alicia is back to being KStew’s assistant, or they’re back to fucking, or both. KStew and Alicia broke up sometime around October of last year, and then her coochie moved on to SoKo. After KStew and SoKo broke up, SoKo seemed to accuse her of cheating and passing her poon to another.
And now they’re all at Cannes together!
I see that Kristen Stewart still thinks she’s the real-life Shane from The L Word and I’m sure we’ll soon hear about how she’s Arianna Huffington’s hairstylist now and also fucked a mother and a daughter (please don’t let it be Lindsay Lohan and White Oprah). And since SoKo seems like she’s on the wrong side of crazy, the people at Cannes better put on plastic hooded ponchos, because the grease is going to fly when those three tussle on the red carpet.
The Hipster Lesbian Love Story Of Our Time Is Over
If it feels like the greasy, unwashed love between Kristen Stewart and French singer SoKo only lasted three minutes, that’s because I think it did last only three minutes max. But those three minutes were magical and when they weren’t bonding over their mutual love of shampoo hate, they spent hours deciding which Rugrats character they wanted to dress like that day. And now they’ve come to an end.
UsWeekly says that after a few months of bumping hipster ‘ginas and partaking in several hand-holding photo-ops, KStew and SoKo broke up. UsWeekly’s source adds that they’re done for right now, but they may get back together. The source didn’t give a reason for why they broke up. But any Robsten fangirl will tell you that they broke up, because SoKo could no longer take being in a PR relationship where after a long day of faking it for the paps, her fake girlfriend Kristen Stewart would go home to Robert Pattinson and their secret baby Juleare. They named their secret baby Juleare after KStew’s mother Jules and RPattz’s mother Clare. .
UsWeekly adds that at the Met Gala on Monday night, KStew spent time with Victoria’s Secret model and Miley Cyrus’ one-time piece Stella Maxwell.
SoKo dresses like a 6-year-old circa 1991 who one day woke up in the body of an adult and had to try to dress like one (think hipster Big) and I liked seeing her in paparazzi pictures, so this break-up makes me kind of sad. I had hoped that these two would get married, have a baby and pick out grave sites together. And since they were in a lesbian relationship, they would’ve done all of that by next week if they stayed together! I’m pouring out some small batch cold-brew kombucha for the end KriKo.
Here’s a couple of pictures of Stella Maxwell at the Met Gala on Monday, as well as pictures of KStew and SoKo’s love story throughout the ages (read: like 1 month).
Open Post: Hosted By Samantha Ronson… I Mean, Justin Bieber… I Mean, Kristen Stewart
If Kristen Stewart’s goal is to look like her image belongs above a newspaper story about how a strung-out vagrant was arrested for starting a meth lab-fueled fire in an abandoned Family Dollar store in Central Florida, then she’s nailing it!
Like they say, beauty is pain and KStew probably went through a lot of that when someone actually shampooed her mop before bleaching it. That salon’s pipes probably got clogged with the blobs of grease that were washed out of KStew’s hair, but that’s all part of the business of beauty. KStew worked that “Macaulay Culkin after a date with a Flowbee” look while strutting around NYC with her girlfriend SoKo yesterday. Kristen Stewart looks like the kind of mess who will come up to you while you’re pumping gas at the gas station to ask for a few dollars or a cigarette. You know, when you see her coming toward you, you quickly pull the pump out of your car’s side hole, so you can jump into your car real quick and take off before she gets to you.
What I’m saying is, it’s a look. But really, KStew should take some styling lessons from her piece, because SoKo knows how to do messy. SoKo looks like Sister Bear if Sister Bear became a human hipster and went to art school. And that look is so now.
Pics: Splash