Charlie Sheen Turned Down “Dancing With The Stars”

Charlie Sheen may be broke, but apparently not broke enough to put his hard won dignity at risk. According to Us Weekly, Charlie was all set to join the cast of Dancing With The Stars this season, but backed out at the last minute when he realized it involved more than standing in the middle of the stage smoking cigarettes through his nose while a lady in a shiny dress twirls around him. Charlie says he walked away from the gig because he can’t dance.

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The Nanny Is Bragging About Her New Lexus

To quote the wise poet Trina: “While y’all sucking dick for free I’m broke off ho/ See it pays to be the boss ho/ Shit that’s how you floss hoes.”

While most of us were overdosing on shamelessness from staring at the picture of The Nanny (Side note: I can feel you all throwing a FranFineIsMortified.GIF at me for calling that ho “The Nanny.”) happily posing on a private jet with Tom Brady’s Super Bowl rings on her fingers, she took a little break from racking up a bill at the Hotel Bel-Air and drove around in her new Lexus IS convertible (which starts at around $43,000). Entertainment Tonight posted a picture from Christine Ouzounian’s Instagram account of her giving you ten pounds of audaciousness while showing off her new ride. Christine added this caption to the picture:

“Keep Calm and meet new drop top Lexi.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!

Either Christine the Nanny got that Lexus the L.A. way (LEASE!) or she bought it with Ben Affleck’s hush money or Jennifer Garner’s hush money or tabloid money or she was just out test driving it and decided to get a little more attention on the Internet by taking a picture with it. Whatever the case may be, I’m really starting to appreciate this brazen bitch’s hustle. She is slowly milking her 15 seconds of fame whore fame for all its worth. Bitch is going to get every last drop. First she called herself “a girl on fire” on Instagram and now she’s flashing her Lexus. I’m sure later today she’ll Instagram a picture of her rolling around on a bed of $100 bills while only wearing Batman Underoos.

But really, I am a little disappointed with Christine the Nanny’s caption. I wished she would’ve went full shameless hussy by writing: “On my way to steal your man.”

Here’s Ben in Downtown L.A. the other day.

Pics: Splash