Category: Michael Cohen

Stormy Daniels Ordered To Pay Donald Trump’s Legal Fees (But Michael Cohen Is Going To Prison)

December 12, 2018 / Posted by:

Stormy Daniels owes Michael Avenatti a great, big “I told you so” because she’s just been ordered to pay nearly $300,000 of Donald Trump’s legal fees for that defamation lawsuit he talked her into filing. While this ruling has no bearing whatsoever on her primary NDA lawsuit against Trump, you still know it’s something Trump’s gonna be congratulating himself for, and maybe we should give it to him since he’s having such a bad day. Michael Cohen was sentenced to 3 years in prison today. Stormy lost the defamation suit in October, but because of the nature of the suit, the plaintiff is required by Texas law to pay the defendant’s legal fees. So yes, it’s technically a loss, but the judge also stated that Trump’s lawyers overcharged, so the amount requested was reduced. Maybe they’ll let her pay it to Cohen’s prison commissary account.

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Somebody Took A Pick Axe To Donald Trump’s Star On The Hollywood Walk Of Fame

July 25, 2018 / Posted by:

Somebody has had it, and that somebody is all of us. Well, most of us. Every couple of weeks or so, Donald Trump says or does something egregiously awful or we learn about something he already did or said that was egregiously awful, or he’s caught in an egregiously awful lie, and we all hold our breath for a moment, hoping upon hope, that this is what finally does him in and then… nothing. Red, White and Blue balls for everyone! So when CNN got hold of one of the Michael Cohen pre-election, secret recordings of The Donald discussing a cash pay-off to kill a story about an alleged affair he had with Playboy Playmate Karen McDougal, people braced for impact.

Unfortunately, instead of hearing the exuberant strains of 20 Mariachi bands, the USC marching band and The Vienna Boys Choir all exalting together, we got one, dented sad trombone fart. Nothing (has) happened (yet). Well one of us had had enough with the bullshit and took it upon himself to brave the 3:00 AM Hollywood Blvd creep parade and take a pick axe to Donald Trump’s star on the Walk of Fame.

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Stormy Daniels Made A Surprise Appearance On “Saturday Night Live” Last Night

May 6, 2018 / Posted by:

Porn star and presidential irritant Stormy Daniels popped up during the cold open on Saturday Night Live last night. Stormy is POTUS’ current least favorite person and SNL knows that there’s nothing in the world more funzies than pissing off our humorless egomaniac of a president. So they had her pop up during a Trump sketch amidst a cavalcade of guest stars including Ben Stiller as Trump’s praying-for-death attorney Michael Cohen, Martin Short as Trump’s ethically challenged (and crazy as hell) physician Dr. Harold Bornstein, Scarlett Johansson reprising her Ivanka Trump, and Jimmy Fallon as Ivanka’s husband Jared Kushner. SNL’s MVP Kate McKinnon also debuted a startlingly accurate impression of gabby Trump hanger-on Rudy Guiliani, who continues to deplete all of the goodwill he inspired during 9/11.

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