Category: Katie Price

Katie Price Confirms That Harvey Price Is In The ICU

July 13, 2020 / Posted by:

Over the weekend, I lit several prayer candles and sprayed my Stunning by Katie Price parfum (which, yes, I really do own because DUH!) into the air over the horrible news that Katie Price’s son Harvey Price is in the ICU after he had trouble breathing and suffered from a major fever. My first thought was to throw holy water at that demonic piece of trash coronavirus for continuing to show us how evil it can be. Harvey is being tested for COVID-19, but sources claim that an “unknown bug” is fucking with Harvey and not COVID-19. This unknown bug needs to step into the light so I can throw holy water on its ass too.

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Katie Price Got Fined For Mouth Sharting Out A C-Bomb Filled Rant At Her Ex’s New Girlfriend On A School Playground

June 4, 2019 / Posted by:

Seen above serving seasoned Russian gold digger making her way to the will reading of her fourth dead husband (or rejected Mob Wives cat member), Katie Price has officially snatched the title of England’s Finest Rose away from Jodie Marsh, who has tamed herself all the way down. The edgiest thing Jodie does now is post pictures on Instagram of bowls of baby diarrhea she makes using the protein powder she hawks. Meanwhile, Katie Prices continues to make her country proud and prove time and time again that Britain is the global epicenter of sophistication.

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Katie Price Was Arrested On Suspicion Of Drunk Driving After Crashing Her Pink Range Rover

October 10, 2018 / Posted by:

Note: That is Katie Price’s actual mug shot and not a sloppily made mess created by me.

It’s been almost 9 months since I’ve written about Katie Price, and I was hoping that the next time I wrote about her it would be to slow clap for THE QUEEN for doing the right thing by relinquishing the throne to Katie, making her the true Queen of England and Harvey Price a prince. But the only title Katie Price got last night was the Queen of Messy when she crashed her pink Range Rover in an alleged drunken haze after getting into a fight with her current boy toy and showing up at her ex-boy toy’s birthday party. Harvey, come get your mom! Actually, don’t, you don’t need to be around that sad scene right now.

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Open Post: Hosted By Katie Price Posing For Her Life At The National Television Awards

January 24, 2018 / Posted by:

You know how in Jennifer’s Body, the demon that possessed Megan Fox’s body sometimes shows itself? Like this:


Well, Katie Price gave us some of that glamorous Succubus hotness (Sharon Needles, who?) on the red carpet at the 23rd National Television Awards in London last night. Katie was there because the talk show she’s on, Loose Women (I’ll pause as you cackle for the 678th time over Katie Price being on a show called Loose Women), was nominated. Loose Women lost the award for Best Daytime Show to This Morning, and while the winners were collecting their trophy on stage, Katie looked down at her phone. She was probably just reading her email, like the email she got from the Death Eaters who invited her to join them since they’re impressed with her ability to make people reach for the holy water just by striking a soul-frightening pose (see: above). But who cares about that stupid award! Katie won the night with her piping pose game on the red carpet.

If Voldemort became a beauty YouTuber who specialized in creating the Kardashian look using discount drugstore cosmetics and expired makeup found in a shoebox in the back of your bathroom cabinet, he’d look exactly like Katie at the National Television Awards last night. In other words: STUNNING!

Pics:, 20th Century Fox


Open Post: Hosted By The Pure And Angelic Nightingale Voice Of Katie Price 

June 23, 2017 / Posted by:

It’s been much too long since the ears of the world have been gently caressed by the velvety wave of powerful musical notes leaping out of the mouth of the most beautiful and talented swan in Britain, Katie Price! Katie’s highly impressive singing career started out in 2005 when she auditioned for Eurovision and she hasn’t released any music for a while. But musical talent has been brewing inside Katie and she could no longer resist the urge to let it all out.

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Open Post: Hosted By Cracked Out Elegance

September 21, 2016 / Posted by:

There’s a chain of restaurants in Los Angeles called Eggslut. They should call up Katie Price and ask her if they can use that gorgeous picture as their logo. Actually, that wouldn’t be a good idea, because if they did, they’d automatically get an F from the health department.

Our modern day Jane Austen has yet another Booker Prize-worthy novel coming out (and yes, I will read it since my brain is addicted to eating fine literature) and she cannot release anything without pimping it out in one of her signature high-budget photocalls. The latest novel that Katie Price definitely wrote every word of is called Reborn and so she went with that theme in the photocall that happened at The Worx Studios in London today. Using a 7-figure budget, the best set builders in Hollywood built Katie Price an elaborate cracked egg and she posed for her life inside of it while wearing a body condom and standing on a Wee Wee pad. This photoshoot is very Anne Geddes for Hustler.

Katie Price’s photocalls of fuckery are what make the world go around. I am so glad that she didn’t lap up the liquid (sweat or water from her hair) on her Spandex skin suit, because the thirstier Katie Price is the better Katie Price is!



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