Category: Harvey Price
Katie Price Confirms That Harvey Price Is In The ICU
Over the weekend, I lit several prayer candles and sprayed my Stunning by Katie Price parfum (which, yes, I really do own because DUH!) into the air over the horrible news that Katie Price’s son Harvey Price is in the ICU after he had trouble breathing and suffered from a major fever. My first thought was to throw holy water at that demonic piece of trash coronavirus for continuing to show us how evil it can be. Harvey is being tested for COVID-19, but sources claim that an “unknown bug” is fucking with Harvey and not COVID-19. This unknown bug needs to step into the light so I can throw holy water on its ass too.
Harvey Price Has The Perfect Response To Trolls
Katie Price (who apparently, scalped a My Little Pony for that wig) is a regular panelist on the ITV talk show Loose Women, and she’s talked about her 13-year-old earth angel son Harvey Price a few times. During an episode in March, Katie talked about what’s it like raising Harvey, who is partially blind, is on the autistic spectrum and has a disorder called Parder-Willi syndrome. And on today’s episode, Katie and the other panelists got into the demon shit-hearted trolls who spew balls of hate at Harvey on social media.
HuffPo UK says that producers thought that maybe they should pre-tape the segment, but Katie spat on that idea, because she wanted people to see what Harvey is really like. Well, while talking to Harvey, Katie asked him what he says to someone who says mean shit about him. Harvey had the right idea years ago when he told Peter Andre to “fuck off” in their reality show, and he had the right idea this morning when he gave this response to trolls:
“Hello, you cunt.” It’s simple, precise, truthful and yet, polite. Well played, Harvey! And I watched the entire segment and noted troll Piers Morgan managed to make it all about him. My response to that is what Harvey said.
Pics: Wenn.com
So, About Those “Harvey Comments” That Katie Price Made….
Yesterday and this morning, my inbox, my Twitter timeline and my RSS feed were all filled with titles saying that Katie Price would have aborted earth angel Harvey Price if she knew about his disabilities before she had him. The OUTRAGE muscle that started growing in my brain the first minute I logged onto the Internet began to throb and I was about to rage at that toe-fucking evil heartless demon.
But then I did this bizarre thing called “read beyond the headline.” I know, I don’t know why I did that. What’s wrong with me?
Katie Price Is Somebody’s Mother For The Fifth Time
Alternate title: Another Lucky Human Gets To Call Earth Angel Harvey Price Her “Brother.”
Katie Price’s fifth baby friend and her second daughter wasn’t supposed to check out of her Botoxed uterus (yes, she botoxed her uterus, because wrinkly wombs are gross) for another 11 days and the c-section was scheduled for August 15, but I guess that child just couldn’t wait to gaze at her mother’s exquisite “sculpted from a block of plastic” face, because she arrived early. Katie’s publicist announced through Twatter last night that she gave birth to the next bundle of adorableness that she’ll pimp out on the cover of OK! and in reality shows. Katie’s second daughter is her second kid with her cheating slut bag husband Kieran Hayler.
Katie’s spokeswhore’s tweet is under 25 words, but I still managed to scream, “JUST TELL US THE NAME,” at least 20 times while reading it. The names of Katie’s four kids are: Harvey Price, Junior Savva Andreas Andre, Princess Tiaammi Crystal Esther Andre and Jett Riviera Hayler. There’s a mixture of normal names and fucked-up names in there, and I have a feeling that she’s really going to bring the baby name fuckery with this kid. Metro says that Katie recently said that she wants to name her daughter “Electra” after Carmen Electra. Only a British orchid like Katie Price would name her kid after American orchid Carmen Electra. Personally, I hope she names her daughter Harveylina Electra Price (HEP!).
Katie let her third husband Keiran Hayler be in the delivery room with her, because she’s trying to make their marriage work. Katie was going to shove divorce papers between Keiran’s ass cheeks after she found out that he cheated on her with two of her friends. In this week’s OK! Magazine (via The Daily Mail), Katie says that Keiran is a sex addict and she’s helping him work through his addiction to puss. Katie knows that Keiran is a sex addict who will bone anything, because he cheated on her with old, ugly easy slut cows instead of with gorgeous, young, stunning, chaste flowers like her. The licensed psychologist put it like this:
“A lot of people would say he’s just a young guy who wants to sleep around, but I’ve learnt a lot through his therapy. I mean, if he’d gone for someone younger, fit body, big tits or pretty, you could at least see he cared who he was with. But two older women who are rank? But it’s because it was easy and just fed his addiction.”
Katie says she’s obsessed with knowing about the adventures of Keiran’s wandering peen and she has video of him fucking her friend in her barn on New Year’s Eve.
“I want to know every detail – when he had sex, how he had it… On New Year’s Eve I had a party here and him and Jane had sex in the barn. I’ve got it on camera because of the CCTV footage. [Kieran]’s broken down over this. And I was glad about that. I found him in the shower curled up in a little ball. He was crying his eyes out.”
Katie is so brave and so courageous for staying with Kieran. She’s an inspiration to us all. The sanctity of marriage is obviously really important to Katie and she’s not staying with Kieran because she knows she can milk at least 5 more covers of OK! Magazine out of their shitty marriage before dumping him for husband #4. Katie and Keiran staying together is also good news for Harvey, Junior and Princess YTuMamaTambien, because they won’t have to learn ANOTHER stepfather’s first name anytime soon.
Katie Price Is Somebody’s Mother Again
A baby joined the Luckiest Humans In The World Club last Wednesday when he was pulled out of Katie Price’s body and can now call England’s most prized national treasure Harvey Price his brother and can call this delicate flower his mother. The Sun (via HuffPo) says that Katie Price gave birth to her fourth kid, and her first kid with her stripper husband Kieran Hayler, in some foreign land last week.
Katie and Kieran’s son was born 8 weeks early and he weighed in at only 5lbs 2oz. Katie tells The Sun that the experience of giving birth to him was extra traumatic since she was on holiday with her family in Europe somewhere and developed a life-threatening infection (no comment, too easy). Katie was taken to the hospital and told that they had to deliver her son early via C-Section. Kieran wasn’t allowed in the delivery room with Katie and the nurses and doctors barely spoke English. I don’t see a problem with the last part since Katie barely speaks English herself. Katie said this to The Sun about the whole traumatic experience:
“I went through a nightmare. The baby’s heart rate was also really low. The next thing I know, a nurse is in my room saying: ‘Get ready now. You have five minutes to shower. You are having C-section soon.’ I started panicking. I have a terrible fear of needles and I was dreading the epidural. I got in the shower in shock. I kept thinking ‘This will be my last shower before I have my fourth child.'”
“I have a terrible fear of needles,” says the inanimate object made out of Botox who gets pricked with a filler needle every hour on the hour.
Katie was released from the hospital, but her son is still in there and they’re allowed to visit him every day. Katie told The Sun that her and Kieran have decided to name their son JETT RIVIERA. Jett Riviera joins Harvey Price, Princess YTuMamaTambien and Junior as one of Katie’s kids.
Yes, Jett Riviera. Would you expect anything less from one of the most classy and refined ladies in the world? Duchess Kate is slapping her head for not coming up with the name Jett Riviera. Jett Riviera sounds like the name of a cast member on Gigolos and it also sounds like the name of a jet ski rental place in Laughlin, NV. Pure class. One hundred percent.
Here’s Jett Riviera’s mother wearing an outfit modeled after her own coochie lips (actual size) while posing during her a photo call for one of her products last month.
Pics: Wenn.com