Category: Horny On Main

James McAvoy Recently Got Secret Married

February 8, 2022 / Posted by:

Well, if like me, you’ve ever fantasized about driving through the Scottish countryside and getting a flat tire, and as you stand by the side of the road, forlorn and shivering for ‘tis proper plowetery out, a figure appears out of the fog and mist, and as he approaches you, pulling off his damp wool sweater, you realize it’s Scottish pocket-hottie James McAvoy, and though you are married, the sudden mutual and intense lust between you is palpable and you tell yourself, it’s OK to fuck in this muddy field on a tartan blanket from the boot of your car, just this once, well I have bad news for you. You now have to gloss over the fact that James is also married in your fantasy, making it that much harder to finish. Because, according to Page Six, James recently revealed that he secretly married his girlfriend, Lisa Liberati.

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Open Post: Hosted By Lola Bunny’s New Figure In “Space Jam: A New Legacy”

March 5, 2021 / Posted by:

Horny millennials whose burgeoning libidos were informed by a cartoon rabbit’s tits are up in arms over the character redesign of Lola Bunny for the upcoming Space Jam remake. Gone are Lola’s basketball sized hooters and coochie cutter shorts, but she’s still got a ba-dunk-a dunk so what’s the problem? Newsweek reports that Malcolm D Lee, the director of Space Jam: A New Legacy, said he was shocked by how sexualized Lola was in the 1996 original so Lola’s new look is meant to “reflect the authenticity of strong, capable female characters.” Which is silly since we all know if you put eyelashes on it, people will get horny for an animated tuna sandwich. Great, now I’m horngry.

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Netflix’s “Bridgerton” Was Viewed By 82 Million Households Making It Their Biggest Hit To Date

January 28, 2021 / Posted by:

Never underestimate the power of a hot ass. And candy-colored brocade. But mostly butts. That’s the not-so-secret formula that made Bridgerton, Shonda Rhimes’ first offering in her multi-million dollar Netflix deal, an incredible hit. Thanks in no small part to Regé-Jean Page’s thrusting buttocks, Bridgerton is now Netflix’s biggest hit to date, drawing the eyeballs of 82 million households (via CNN). That’s a lot of eyeballs! Poor Regé-Jean’s ass is likely to burst into flames under that kind of scrutiny. And such, I’d like to take the opportunity right here, in writing, to offer Regé-Jean my services should he need someone to tenderly slather his singed buns with some double-cream butter. I’ll even churn it myself!

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