Open Post: Hosted By Jason Momoa Stripping Down To A Traditional Hawaiian Malo On “Jimmy Kimmel Live!”
In between exploring his semi-recent singledom with Eiza Gonzalez and Kate Beckinsale after divorcing Lisa Bonet, Jason Momoa’s been spending his time making your Aunt Barb hot under her Dress Barn collar by ass-out fishing in a traditional Hawaiian garment called a malo on Instagram and promoting his upcoming Netflix movie, Slumberland. Jason stopped by Jimmy Kimmel Live! yesterday and gave all of his admirers a little more spank-bank material by stripping down to a malo again, and this time he tried his hand at making that ass clap.
File this under: Channing Tatum just found the plot for Magic Mike 2.
AP (via HuffPo) says that on Tuesday night before the Thunder From Down Under show at the Excalibur Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas, a shady looking man was hanging around the theater and dressing room. Usually when the stage manager sees a shady, creepy looking dude hanging around the dressing, he tells the dude, “Oh hey, Mr. Travolta, the worn thongs you requested are waiting for you in the front.” But this dude was wearing a SWAT hat, a fireman’s shirt and some police boots. Nobody really bothered him, because they thought he was a new crotch thruster in the show. The show director finally approached the dude and he said that he bought the stuff on his body for his girlfriend.
After some of the dancers realized that he was wearing costumes that belonged to them, they came at him and the drama went down. The thief pulled out a gun and shot at a stripper (and missed) before six of the dancers punched him, wrestled him to the ground and held him down until security showed up. It was like Hot Cops come to life and I think my nipples had a seizure just from thinking about those hot strippers holding down a thief. He was arrested and charged with felony attempted murder, armed robbery and burglary with a weapon charges.
You know, I think I’ve had this wet dream before. But instead of the topless man strippers punching me in the face (I’m not into rough trade), they tore off the stuff I stole from them, gagged me with their bulges to stop me from screaming and punished me by making me their in-house oil applier.
And now every kinky fuck who wants to get punched and wrestled into submission by a bunch of hot Australian man strippers know what to do to make their dreams come true.