Category: Crazy Eyes
Jenelle Evans’ Husband David Eason Killed Her Dog Because It Allegedly Bit Their Daughter (UPDATE)
UPDATE: A cop source tells TMZ that they paid a visit to David’s house and he denied murdering Nugget, but also wouldn’t show them Nugget. Cops say they won’t investigate unless Jenelle files a police report.
Jenelle Evans of Teen Mom glory, is heartbroken because her asshole wreck of a husband, David Eason, killed her dog Nugget. David admits to shooting the dog and claims he was defending the very life of his young daughter Ensley. See that terrifying, huge, dangerous-looking animal in that picture? David just had to protect his family from that demon. Someone call THE QUEEN to knight this fellow: the dragon has been slain!
Jean Kasem Claims Her Late Husband’s Children Murdered Him In The Name Of Scientology
Casey Kasem’s been dead for nearly 5 years, but his family is still fighting over who is responsible for his death. Casey’s children from his first marriage, Julie, Mike and Kerri Kasem, filed a lawsuit against Casey’s widow Jean Kasem, accusing her of elder abuse. Jean recently alleged that the kids conspired to kill Casey because the power of L. Ron Hubbard compelled them to kill him so they could give all his money to The Church of Scientology. Normally, whenever the COS is involved, I automatically assume whatever bonkers fuckery is at play is because of them. But in this case, Jean Kasem is has proven herself to be as batshit as old L. Ron himself.
Who Worked It Better?
I know, I should shank myself in the ass in a communal shower for even asking that question. When any ho goes up against Crazy Eyes in the “Who Worked It Better?” game, it isn’t Crazy Eyes who loses.
Defibrillator pads were working overtime at the iFart Radio Awards in Los Angeles last night when the hearts of dozens of whores nearly stopped after RiRi sashayed on through with her nipple knobs and pussy lips actually covered up. Bitch was so covered up (for RiRi) that you’d think she was going to church. RiRi’s nipple slits and asshole must’ve felt so confused and suffocated, because usually they’re out in the open breathing in air. Everyone figured RiRi would show up in nothing but patent leather creepers and a beaded tampon string hanging out of her cooch. But RiRi really gave everyone a serious SHOCK when she wore clothes.
Speaking of those clothes, it looks like she bought all those clothes at a Charlotte Russe and Judy’s after time-traveling back to 1995. She looks like Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes if Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes played Fairuza Balk’s character in The Craft. It looks like The Matrix, Coolio and the Urban Decay section of an Urban Outfitters all took a shit on her at the same time. And you know, I don’t even hate it. Yes, that blue black green lipstick makes her look like the dead body of a hooker that was floating in the swamp for days, but that lipstick turned her tongue blue. And looking like you just tongue fucked Tobias Funke IS the look.
Pics: Getty