Category: Choupette Lagerfeld
Open Post: Hosted By The Cat Tail That Crashed A Video Call
Thanks to coronavirus keeping everyone (who wants to live) in their homes, workplaces continue to hold meetings via video chat. And that includes the government. One Scottish Member of Parliament, John Nicolson, recently had a Zoom moment involving his ginger pussy making an appearance during a work call. Hey, at least it wasn’t a side piece. That fiery ginger puss refused to stay off-camera and stole the hearts of John’s fellow MPs and also the world!
Open Post: Hosted By The $538 Choupette Lagerfeld Plush Toy
Did you lose out on the $100k Flamin’ Hot Harambe Cheeto and have been looking for something else to waste your money? Look no further, because Karl Lagerfeld has the perfect thing for you. Continue reading
Le Tax Man Is Coming For Kunty Karl For Allegedly Trying To Hide Over $21 Million From The Government
Fatties, ugly people, Adele and Pippa Middleton are all cackling into the night, because the grand lord of the Death Eaters Kunty Karl is being investigated by French tax authorities for using all kinds of schemes to hide more than 20 million euros. Kunty Karl’s white pot scrubber hair isn’t only filled with the screams of his victims. It may also be filled with tax-evading secrets.
The French newspaper L’Express (via The Daily Mail) says that French authorities believe that over the course of 6 years, Kunty Karl failed to declare a total of 20 million euros. They believe he’s been using places like the British Virgin Islands, Delaware and Ireland to circulate his millions. Authorities are focusing on 7L, a bookshop that Kunty Karl founded in 1999 in Paris. Inside of Kunty Karl’s bookshop is a photo studio owned by a British company, which takes in the revenue from his photography work. The bookshop doesn’t pay taxes because it doesn’t make any money. Apparently, the French authorities think the foreign transactions allowed the “concealing of the undeclared professional activity” of Karl as a photographer.
Behold, The Inspiration For Elegance Who Is Worth Millions
Kunty Karl has obviously never met the true inspiration for elegance Shauna Sand. But that’s another conversation for him and me to have while I’m filing his claws as one of his slaves in Hell.
Karl Lagerfeld was recently in NYC to present his Paris-Salzburg collection (Whatever that means!) and he let The Cut into his tomb at The Mercer Hotel to talk about it, but he didn’t really want to talk about that or himself or inspiration or books or TV or movies. The only thing Kunty Karl really wanted to talk about was the only living thing on this planet who is safe from him sucking the life out of them when the evil inside him needs refueling. Karl only wanted to talk about his precious pussy Choupette Lagerfeld. Karl calls Choupette the “most famous cat in the world,” but again, he obviously lives in an ass bubble of ignorance where he doesn’t know who Shauna Sand or Grumpy Cat is.
Choupette Lagerfeld Landed A Beauty Contract
You didn’t think that Kunty Karl would let his pussy of leisure Choupette Lagerfeld spend her days delicately licking rare mermaid caviar off of her maid’s white glove while lounging on a swan feather-stuffed cashmere pillow as her other maid gently cleans her b-hole with champagne, did you? Choupette has to earn her keep and Kunty Karl has put her to work. WWD says that the cat who proved that it is possible for a soulless, dead-hearted zombie vampire to love a living thing has landed a deal to be the face of Shu Uemura’s holiday collection called Shupette. Leave it to Choupette Lagerfeld to sign a cosmetics deal when bitch doesn’t even wear makeup since she’s a natural beauty. Maybe Choupette signed with Shu Uemura, because she’s trying to get in with the cosmetic industry so she can sneak into animal testing laboratories and free her kind. Yeah, probably not. That luxurious bitch is lazy.
WWD says that Shu Uemura is calling their Choupette-inspired collection “the first tie-up between a beauty name and a house pet” and that’s probably right, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before Cover Girl gives Grumpy Cat her own collection called Cover Grump. WWD also said this about Choupette’s new job:
Press materials suggest the Shupette range is likely to include furry false eyelashes, and includes a quote from the cat, calling herself “queen of catnaps” and “social media’s most wanted.”
Lagerfeld already photographed his cat for the Shu Uemura campaign.
And here’s Choupette hard at work:
Sorry, human models, your services are no longer needed. Your jobs are now be snatched away by the pampered pussies of zombie fashion designers. Nepurrtism at its finest!
Pic: Instagram