Category: Busted

Chris Brown’s Big Birthday Bash Was Busted By The Cops

May 7, 2021 / Posted by:

Chris Brown turned 32 on May 5, and he celebrated the only way he knows how: like an asshole! Despite the fact that social gatherings in LA County are COVID-restricted to 100 people (outdoors) or up to 50 people (indoors), police guess that around 400 to 500 people were partying at Chris’. The cops showed up at around 2 AM after receiving multiple calls about loud music and cars double-parked all over the San Fernando Valley neighborhood. The music was turned down, but it also meant the end of the party. Awww, they didn’t even make it to the witching hour! And Chris was so excited to bust out the Ouija… Continue reading

Scott Eastwood Got Busted Trying To Steal Signs Protesting A Coastal Real Estate Development

January 21, 2020 / Posted by:

Look, if Scott Eastwood can’t make it as an actor with that name and that face, then he’s obviously terrible at it. So we can’t blame him for exploring other occupational pursuits. One can only chase poon and suckle at daddy’s teat for so long before it becomes an embarrassment. (yes, Clint Eastwood has teats. They look like beef jerky and exude a tar-like substance similar to chewing tobacco expectorate) According to TMZ, Scott has diversified his portfolio to include some real estate investments. And in his spare time, he runs around Del Mar, California stealing signs protesting a new luxury resort that’s being built “atop 16.5 acres of oceanfront land north of San Diego.” Sadly though, he’s worse at stealing signs than he is at acting. Scott got caught in the act and was read for filth by a woman wearing yoga pants. Such a shame.

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Footballer Wife Coleen Rooney Set Up A Sting Operation To Catch Her Fellow WAG Selling Her Out To The Sun

October 9, 2019 / Posted by:

I just learned who Coleen Rooney is (left) today, but I already know that Coleen is not just that bitch, she’s also that other bitch over there, that one behind you, that one from this morning, and most notably, that bitch who wishes a sucker would. The sucker in question is Rebekah Vardy (right), proving once again that you should never, ever, ever trust a Rebecca who spells her name with a K, let alone an H. Coleen and Rebekah are both WAGs, which is British for a footballer’s wife. I thought they were all named after different varietals of white wines, but apparently some of them are also Rebeccas with a K and an H.

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Patriots Owner Robert Kraft Got Busted In A Prostitution Sting

February 22, 2019 / Posted by:

I don’t think anybody here expected Robert Kraft’s seventh ring to come from the prostitution variety. Hot off the heels of Bobby’s New England Patriots’ sixth Super Bowl win, it appears Bob frequents the Orchids of Asia “spa” in Jupiter, Florida, for a little R&R that came with a happy ending. In fact, Bob may have been a regular, and the police were onto his ass. Law enforcement officials announced a bust of 25 people who were soliciting sex at Orchids of Asia, and Bob’s name made the list.

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Pete Davidson Was Pulled Over And His Passenger Was Busted For Pot Possession

August 20, 2018 / Posted by:

If you were to ask me which 2018 personality was most likely to get busted for possession of pot, I would answer Pete Davidson. But I’d be wrong! According to TMZ, Pete was pulled over very early this morning for suspicion of looking like a sentient edible, but it was his passenger, fellow comedian Joey Gay, who was actually busted. Turns out Pete’s a fucking professional and was able to pass a field sobriety test.

TMZ reports:

Sources with direct knowledge tell TMZ … Pete and his friend were driving in Syracuse around 4 AM last weekend where Pete was filming “Big Time Adolescence” with Machine Gun Kelly. It’s unclear why, but cops ordered him on the side of the road. We’re told officers smelled weed … triggering a search.

I too smell weed whenever I see a picture of Pete. It’s kind of a pavlovian response. His fabled wang probably emits bong water flavored jizz. People claims that Joey was carrying edibles and was charged with “possession of a controlled substance in the fourth degree” and cited with “unlawful possession of marijuana”. I guess New York State does not fuck around. TMZ says that fourth degree controlled substance charge is a felony.

Pete probably crammed all his edibles down his throat as soon as he saw the blue lights flashing. Not even a seasoned patrolman can tell the difference between “toxically stoned” Pete Davidson”, and “I’m a very sober and responsible driver, officer” Pete Davidson. Whatever happened in that car, Pete owes his pal Joey a big thanks for taking the charges. Imagine if word got out that Pete was a user of marijuana? His career would be over, and I’m sure Ariana Grande would have to think twice before marrying a possible felon!

Pic: Instagram

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