Category: Billy Joel

Elle Macpherson Says Billy Joel Dumped Her For Christie Brinkley

September 29, 2018 / Posted by:

And in “Untold Stories of Past Pop Cultural Icons” news, Elle Macpherson, 54, told Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live that vehicular terror Billy Joel, 69, off-loaded her in favor of the ageless Christie Brinkley, 64, back in the day. It could have been the equally ageless Elle whom the public was aiming their puzzled looks at back in the 80s. She could have been ½ of the unusual and progressive celebrity pairing that inspired questions like “Her? With him? Really?”

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68-Year-Old Billy Joel Is Going To Be A Dad Again

October 18, 2017 / Posted by:

Billy Joel’s 68-year-old sperm should be retired and spending their days rocking on a wooden chair on the porch inside his balls, but they’re working just as hard as ever. Billy casually spilled the new baby beans during a recent interview with the Belfast Telegraph. While chilling in Billy’s vintage bike shop, his very-pregnant 35-year-old fourth wife Alexis Roderick walked in with their 2-year-old daughter Della Rose.

Billy announced their arrival by saying, “That’s my wife. We are due next month.” This will be Billy Joel’s third kid after Della and Alexa Ray Joel, his 31-year-old daughter with Christie Brinkley.

But what if Billy wants to take a seniors nap at the same time as his new baby? Babies can be fussy about falling asleep. Luckily Billy already has that covered. I recently rented a car that had SiriusXM (fancy) and the person before me had it programmed to the Billy Joel channel. The channel is just Billy muttering about whatever while tooling around at the piano. It’s like liquid Ambien for the ears. I had to turn it off before I rear-ended a car. Whenever his new baby gets restless, he can just close the blinds and flip on his Sirius channel, and they’ll both be out like a light.

Pic: Wenn.com

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The Year Is 2016 And I’ve Written A Post About Kenny Chesney Being The Second Biggest Money-Maker In Music 

May 6, 2016 / Posted by:

It feels like I haven’t written about Kenny Chesney since the Renee Zellweger days when their 6-minute-long marriage ended in “fraud” and he blamed it on his “box” being too full at the time and not being able to handle all of the attention from the media. I don’t know if Kenny’s box is still full, but I do know that his bank accounts are overflowing with dollars the same way your panties are overflowing with twatty leche from looking at that picture of him in that hot sleeveless T.

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Billy Joel Is Trying The Whole “Being Married” Thing Again

July 5, 2015 / Posted by:

When Billy Joel’s friends and family showed up to his gigantic estate on Long Island yesterday, they thought they were there for a Fourth of July party, but they quickly realized that they were actually there for his fourth wedding. Nothing will punch the excitement out of you like finding out that you have to sit through a boring wedding before getting Fourth of July plastered.

People says that 33-year-old Alexis Roderick, who used to work for Morgan Stanley, became the third blonde inducted into The Billy Joel Wives Club when she married 66-year-old Billy Joel yesterday. The wedding was officiated by Sandra Lee’s piece Governor Andrew Cuomo. UsWeekly says that guests including his daughter Alexa Ray and the King of Queens, Kevin James, watched Billy Joel become somebody’s husband for the fourth time. Billy Joel was married to Elizabeth Weber for 9 years, ageless vampire Christie Brinkley for 9 years and Katie Lee for 6 years.

Billy Joel and Alexis started bumping fuck parts in 2009. Alexis currently has Billy Joel’s second child growing in her womb. Back in April, they announced that she’s knocked up.

Billy and Alexis released that picture above after they got married. That picture really is the perfect portrait of wedded bliss. I mean, Billy (who is giving me overcooked hot dog in that picture) looks like he’s thinking to himself “Oh god, what have I done AGAIN?” while she’s closing her eyes and envisioning herself leaping across a mountain of his money. Congrats to the happy couple!

And here’s some pictures of Billy and his new trophy bride throughout the years.

Pics: People, Splash, Wenn.com

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