Category: bankruptcy

Barney’s Has Filed For Bankruptcy

August 6, 2019 / Posted by:

The iconic rich person clothing store, Barney’s, is filing for bankruptcy. That means that famous and famou-ish label whores everywhere, like EJ Johnson looking elegant as an army base go-go dancer, are frantically posing in front of the mirror with a Saks Fifth Avenue shopping bag to see how they look, because everything has changed now that there’s a chance they’ll no longer be papped carrying a black Barney’s shopping bag on the stroll.

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The List Of People Owed Money By The Weinstein Company Has Been Revealed

March 21, 2018 / Posted by:

In the wake of The Weinstein Company’s bankruptcy filing, there is a long line of folks who were owed money and are now left holding the bag. Sadly, that bag was only designed to hold ten pounds but is now bursting forth with 200 pounds of Harvey Weinstein‘s kale pesto and artisanal kombucha rehab shits. Deadline reports that the list of creditors owed money by TWC is a real doozy and includes a lot of expected names, like Quentin Tarantino, and more than a few head scratchers, like Malia Obama.

According to Deadline:

Some of the thousands of names on the 394-page list of people owed money by the bankrupt company jump off the page, among them David Bowie, Michael Bay, Malia Obama, Boris Becker, Ryan Coogler, Daniel Radcliffe, Robert De Niro and Darlene Love.

Malia is owed money because she worked as an intern at TWC last year which Deadline says was before the toxic Harvey sludge had oozed its way all the way out onto the streets and into the media. Zoe Brock, one of Harvey’s accusers, is also listed as a creditor and I am so mad for her.

Of course it’s not all famous people and women who Harvey did wrong on the list. There’s also regular businesses on there including “An Office Depot in Cincinnati” which is the name of my loose adaptation of Glengarry Glen Ross and “an exterminator in Brooklyn”. Just think, if that exterminator had been paid properly, maybe Harvey would have been gassed out like the cockroach he is years ago!

Pic: Wenn.com

The Weinstein Company Has Declared Bankruptcy

March 20, 2018 / Posted by:

Hit your Wheel of Fortune bankrupt whistle and your Price is Right losing horn, because The Weinstein Company has officially declared bankruptcy. According to Variety, TWC filed for Chapter 11 yesterday. If you work at Harvey Weinstein’s Arizona rehab, maybe go track him down in whatever hammock he’s taking his post-waffles nap in (sorry – self-reflective rehabilitation moment) and let him know.

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Toys ‘R’ Us Files For Chapter 11 Bankruptcy

September 19, 2017 / Posted by:

True story, the last time I walked into a Toys ‘R’ Us store there was a poopy diaper in the middle of the bike aisle, just sitting there waiting to get slipped on like the world’s shittiest banana peel. Then I spent 20 minutes looking for a backgammon board but all the board games were mixed up on the shelves and all I could find was 20 different versions of Monopoly. The cashier, while pleasant and cheerful, appeared to be high as fuck. It was a sad experience and I left empty handed but with a full head of poopy diaper odor and the Toys ‘R’ Us theme song that stayed stuck in my head for several days. It’s stuck in my head right now. It is now also stuck in yours.

If you were a Toys ‘R’ Us kid like me you probably have fond memories of the place and feel some type of way about the fact that they’ve filed for bankruptcy.

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