Kathy Griffin took home an Emmy this past weekend for her show "My Life On The D-List." Well, when they air her speech this Saturday on E! they plan to censor her ass. The main Emmys are this Sunday.

 

Kathy's speech went a little something like this: "A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus."

"This award is my god now!"

Of course the Catholic League bitched and moaned about it and now E! is planning to trim her speech down. The league called it, "vulgar, in-your-face brand of hate speech."

The Catholic League needs to spend less time watching the Emmys worrying about comics and more time worrying about their priests touching little kids. Seriously! Mind your own business! Jesus and God probably had a laugh over that joke over a cold beer. It's a joooke! 

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My idol, Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas, once again beat out the boys 3 days ago to become the Buffalo Wing champ! Sonya swallowed 172 chicken wings in 12 minutes at the National Buffalo Wing Festival in Buffalo, NY on Saturday.

 

She beat her own world record! Sonya is ranked #5 in the competitive eating world.

 

Past records of Sonya's include eating 37 hot dogs in 12 minutes; 35 bratwursts in 10 minutes; 11 pounds of cheesecake in 9 minutes; 44 lobsters in 12 minutes; and 250 Tater Tots in 5 minutes.

 

Her farts must be RANK.

 

Sonya is also a crowd favorite since she only weighs 105lbs. Bitch is not to be messed with. She'll swallow you whole, literally. You know her husband ain't ever gonna leave that. 

 

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Someone out there really doesn't like 22-year-old Miss New Jersey, Amy Polumbo, and they have been terrorizing her with threats of exposing pictures of her nude and boozing. The anonymous blackmailer sent in two packages containing photos taken from Amy's facebook account. The blackmailer wants her to step down as Miss N.J. or she will be exposed!

 

The pictures are said to contain Amy topless and partaking in a little underage boozing. Amy claims that the pictures do not show her nude or drinking underage. She said that the pageant officials are looking over the photos to see if they violate their moral clause. She would not say what goes down in the pictures, but said she had no problem posting them on her private facebook.

 

Ok, so if she's not topless, getting sexy with anybody or boozing…what's the problem? Just release them yourself and beat the blackmailer at their own game.

 

Anyone think this chick made it up herself? Has anyone looked at the runner-up! Who else would want Amy to step down? Duh!

 

That being said, pageant girls are fun.

 

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Life & Style posted nude pictures of Vanessa Manillafolders and Nick Lachey in Mexico, but the problem is they aren't naked! They covered it up. Ugh, show us the goods!

 

Nick has pencil dick and Vanessa's probably looks like a precious flower.

I need the real pics to surface, because I can't sleep until I see what Nick is working with.

 

 

 

 

This Fall CBS will bring us a "ground-breaking" reality experiment called Kid Nation. Think Lord of the Flies, but in western times. A group of kids ages 8 to 15 will be forced to survive in Bonanza City, New Mexico and build their pioneer-style world for 40-days. Each episode will end with a town meeting where the children can decide whether or not they want to stay in Kid Nation. The kids will also award one child a $20,000 prize. CBS promises an amazing prize at the end of the show.

 

Click here to see the preview, because it's pretty amazing.  These kids have to do everything from clean the nasty shit in the bathroom to operate a saloon. They even decide who's going to be "upper class" and shit. 

 

The best part is when the host tells the kid "the $20,000 can buy you a lot of college." What kind of the hell kind of college can it buy? Beauty school college?

 

This show is going to be sooo hot.

 

VIA Defamer

 

 

 

 

A judge has just ordered Paris Hilton to 45 days in the clink for violating her probation. She begins serving on June 5th and if she doesn't serve onor before then she will get 90 days. The judge said she must do all the time and it not allowed a work release, use of an alternative jail or electronic monitoring in lieu of jail. She will serve at a woman's jail in Lynwood, CA.

 

There is justice in this world!!!!

 

TMZ reports that Wonky blamed her pr whore, Elliot Mintz, for telling her that her license was not suspended. The judge told her that she signed a document stating that her license was suspended for 4 months. She said she didn't know what she was signing, she just signed it.

Before the judge's ruling she cried and told the court ""I'm very sorry and from now on I'm going to pay complete attention to everything. I'm sorry and I did not do it on purpose at all."

 

Unfortch, the judge was a hot ho and didn't buy any of her dumb excuses. He also didn't like when she blamed her handlers.

 

Her parents were also in the room and Kathy is apparently very upset. AHAHAHAHAH! Their pain is my joy! Bitch got what she deserved.

 

Hopefully someone in the slammer will give her another wonk eye to the match the one she already has!

 

Bonus! While waiting for the judge's ruling I was bored and googled "paris hilton vagina" and look what I got on the second page. Genius! Click here to see, but it's extremely NSFW! I don't even know if it's safe for humans! But it is basically what you get when you deal with her vagina!