Paris Hilton is a wonderful singer. She has the voice of an angel. Paris sing in one of her new movies that will come out whenever and the choreographer of the movie wants everyone to know how well she sings, “I was surprised that she could sing. Honest to God, I will never crack on Paris. I haven’t. From what I heard from what they did, I liked how she sounded.”

It was probably a windy day and she had her legs open. Her vagina flapping in the wind really does make a beautiful sound. It should get its own record deal!

In other Parasite news, guess what the hell she said the other day, “Britney Spears is a great mother.” Again, I think it was a windy day and she had her legs open…..

Here’s Paris at the Dallas premiere of that crap movie.

Yes, it’s one of those days. Lindsay Lohan was out yesterday without leggings and not in complete black. Fascinating. Linds was out doing her full-time job, shopping. She still looks like shit. She needs a bath in Oxy to wash off years of spray tanning.

In other Linds news, she’s apparently still set for that guest apperance on “Ugly Betty.” The hot bitch who plays Hilda said it looks like it’s still a go. She said, “It’s unlike anything you’ve seen her play. It’s a really funny character. This will be a Queens storyline, not a Mode story.”

Yes, all boring. Screw all this. Let’s go to church. They serve free wine there. Wait, can you get drunk off communion wine?

Wenn

Oh shit! This is a sad one. Suzanne Pleshette passed away last night in her Los Angeles home. She was 70. In 2006 Suzanne underwent chemotherapy for lung cancer. She died of respiratory failure.

Suzanne is best known for playing Emily Hartley for six years on “The Bob Newhart” show in the 70s. She was also in Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds.” However, I know Suzanne best from playing Leona Helmsley in the TV movie “Leona Helmsley: The Queen of Mean.” She should’ve won an Emmy or Oscar or Tony or Grammy or whatever.

Suzanne will be missed! Rest in peace….

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TMZ claims that Britney Spears may suffer from multiple personality disorder. Sources have told them that the fake British accent is more than just a fake accent. When Brit stops using the accent she has no idea what she did during the time she was using it. Britney apparently was the “British girl” when she didn’t show up to her deposition and has no recollection of it whatsoever. Brit apparently has other personalities like “the weepy girl, the diva, etc…” Does she have the “clean girl” in there, because that girl needs to come out more often.

I don’t know if I believe the multiple personality thing. I’m not a doctor (famous words) and I do think she has crazy in the brains, but I think the British accent is just for fun. None of these people are doctors, so they don’t know. Shit, I don’t know.

Besides if faking a British accents meant you have mpd, Madonna and Johnny Depp would be in strait jackets right now.

Oh and stop asking me to post or link to those nasty ass Brit period pictures. Google that bloody mess. That shit is foul, but I suddenly have a craving for tacos with extra hot sauce.

Naomi Campbell interviewed Venezuelan President, Hugo Chavez, for GQ Magazine. The article will be published on Thursday. Naomi called him the “rebel angel” and said he had a beautiful singing voice. She is so weird. When Naomi asked him if he would ever pose shirtless he said, “Why not? Touch my muscles!” Nasty. She probably did and then she sucked his one muscle and threw her Blackberry at it and accused it of stealing her favorite jeans. I know that bitch’s number.

Here’s bits and pieces. It sounds like a conversation between two girlfriends while shopping for two-pieces:

Chavez on Bush:

“We’re seeing the fall of the empire. … Like the fairy tale, the emperor is naked.”

Chavez on the most stylish leader:

“Fidel, of course! His uniform is impeccable. His boots are polished, his beard is elegant.”

Chavez on Prince Charles:

“I like the Prince. Now he has Camilla, his new girl. She’s not as attractive, is she?”

Naomi hopes “Venezuela’s relations with America will improve in the immediate future.” She also hopes to interview Fidel Castro next.

Who does this bitch think she is? Babwa Wawa? I can’t wait until one of these world leaders says something fresh to her and she beats them down with her cell phone. It’s bound to happen.

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Thanks elo