Aaron Rodgers And Shailene Woodley Are Probably Engaged Already
It felt like it was just four days ago (because it was) when we learned that the random celebrity couple generator spit out the names Aaron Rodgers and Shailene Woodley. Everyone reported that 37-year-old Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers and 29-year-old forest fairy Shailene Woodley have been a thing for a few months. And last night, Aaron told the world that he’s engaged. So either Aaron dumped Shailene after finally realizing that his one true love is Jake from State Farm and they’re engaged. Or the makers of organic, sugar-free, gluten-free, fair trade bridal granola garters are rejoicing today because Shailene’s getting married!
The NFL Honors aired last night and Aaron was named MVP of the NFL for the third time. During his virtual speech, Aaron went on about how 2020 was a year of change and dropped that he’s going to be somebody’s husband:
Thank you so much. It’s an honor to win this award for the third time. 2020 was definitely a crazy year filled with lots of change, growth, some amazing memorable moments. 180 straight days of having my nose hair scraped, playing for very little fans or no stands the entire season. I got engaged. And I played some of the best football of my career. So I’d like to thank first and foremost my teammates for their support, their inspiration, protection, and incredible play on the field. The coaching staff for their efforts to make this fun every single week, the energy, the positivity, and the daily presentations really kept us going. Off the field, I got a great group of people that support me. So I’d like to thank my team.”
Aaron then went on to thank the people in his life including Jodie Foster (she’s a big Packers fan) and his “fiancée.” Aaron didn’t say the name of his fiancée and probably because before that speech, his publicist said to him, “For maximum dramatic effect, don’t say her name because that will make that bitch Tom Brady seethe over you trying to steal his Super Bowl Sunday shine!”
.@AaronRodgers12 accepts his award after being named the MVP of the 2020 NFL season. 🎥#GoPackGo
📺 #NFLHonors on CBS pic.twitter.com/vgSKnjGNXh
— Green Bay Packers (@packers) February 7, 2021
When it was reported that WoodRod is happening, sources say they were “casually dating” because their jobs forced them to be long distance. So this went from “casually dating” to engaged real fast.
Before Aaron, Shailene was with Fijian rugby player Ben Volova. In April of last year, it was reported that Shailene and Ben broke up after about two and a half years of dating. Shailene told Bustle at the time that things ended because their relationship was headed for marriage and babies and she wasn’t ready for that. Before Shailene, Aaron was with Danica Patrick and they broke up last summer after around two years together. Danica was open about wanting to get married to Aaron, so she’s definitely bawling into her MAGA hat today.
Because of Aaron’s Jodie Foster shout-out, I figured that Jodie introduced Aaron and Shailene to each other (Jodie and Shailene worked together on the movie The Mauritanian). But the sports gossip site Terez Owens delivered some escándalo-ness by claiming that Danica is the one who introduced Aaron to Shailene. And Shailene and Aaron were spotted getting “cozy” in Lake Tahoe last July, around the time that it was announced that he and Danica were done. That would mean that Aaron and Shailene have been together for at least 7 months.
As for why Aaron and Shailene are headed for wedded bliss (“More like wedded beardom” said Aaron’s ex Olivia Munn) after just a few months together, the answer is obviously: GENUINE EVERLASTING LOVE. But some on Twitter think that maybe Shailene’s got a moonchild in her womb. I don’t know about that, but I do know how they got engaged. I’m picturing Shailene, lying naked in the grass with her legs spread open to let the sun fuck some vitamin D rays into her chocha. And as the sun’s rays fill her up, Aaron, who is next to her on all fours to let the sun fuck some vitamin D rays into his b-hole, asks her to marry him while handing her a ring he made out of the animal bones they used to make breakfastime broth that morning. That’s definitely how it happened.
Pics: Wenn.com