Johnny Depp’s libel suit continues, and thankfully we’re getting a much-needed break from the mental image of spite poo and blood memos,. The bad news is, we’ve still got violence and a little bit of poop, combined with some missing money, and the phantom smell of stale hair (does anyone else experience that phenomenon when they look at a picture of him? Just me?).
Johnny appeared in London’s High Court today and delivered more testimony against The Sun. Johnny’s suing The Sun for calling him a “wife beater” in a headline, which was prompted by accusations made by his former wife Amber Heard. Johnny’s plan as the case’s plaintiff has so far been to paint Amber as the abusive one in their relationship. Johnny claimed today that only a couple hours after he discovered how badly his bank account was hurting, Amber allegedly tried to bring the pain to his face, courtesy of an alleged “haymaker.”
Page Six reports that Johnny discussed his messy financial situation in court today. Two years ago this month, Johnny settled a $25 million lawsuit he filed against his former money managers, The Management Group. Johnny had accused TMG of mismanaging his money and failing to properly file his taxes. TMG counter-sued, claiming Johnny was a dummy with his money, and that he blew it all himself on expensive booze and private islands and such. So of course I thought that Johnny was crying greasy tears over $25 million lost forever. According to Johnny, the amount he has lost is actually $750 million.
“Since Pirates [of the Caribbean] 2 and 3, I had – and this is ludicrous to have to state, it’s quite embarrassing – apparently I had made $650 million. I had not only lost $650 million, but I was $100 million in the hole because [his business managers] had not paid the government my taxes for 17 years.”
Additionally, Johnny says that after leaving his money meeting, he headed to his Los Angeles apartment to attend Amber’s 30th birthday party. He says he might have smoked some weed on his way to the party. Johnny’s lawyer pointed out that a nurse who was attending the party made notes about Johnny’s condition, and she believed Johnny to be coherent and social. Amber was allegedly “irritable and upset” because Johnny had shown up late to the party, and allegedly started getting into it with him. Johnny reportedly checked out of the party to go read alone in bed, which allegedly angered Amber enough to excuse herself from her birthday party and enter their bedroom to continue their fight. According to Johnny, that’s when Amber really wanted to get into it.
“Under the circumstances of being harangued and forced into some argument or altercation, I didn’t think that it was the wrong thing to do. I thought it was best to remove myself from the argument because it seemed ridiculous to me.”
Asked to elaborate on what a “haymaker” was, Depp explained, “It’s just a type of wild swinging…kind of a roundhouse punch, as it were. It’s a bit of a wild swing but effective if it reaches the target.”
The next morning is when Amber, or one of her friends, had allegedly pooped in Johnny’s bed as a “prank.”
Today is Johnny’s last day in court. He reportedly told one of the court ushers, “I’m gonna miss you,” on his way out.
Johnny didn’t say how he lost $650 million. After all, he didn’t sue TMG for that amount. The bigger question might be: Was Johnny telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth when he claimed he made $650 off the Pirates franchise? Pirates of the Caribbean 2 made just over $1 billion at the box office, while Pirates of the Caribbean 3 made just under $1 billion. I looked up how much Johnny reportedly made in 2007, the year Pirates 3 was released, and Forbes says Johnny took in $29 million. Wikipedia adds that Johnny made $55 million from the 4th Pirates movie, which would be his highest single-paycheck film. So…where does that $650 million come from? Maybe Johnny got some back-end DVD or merchandising deal. Or maybe he got a crisp $1 from Disney every time someone rode the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, and said the words, “Wow, that Johnny Depp robot is creepy as fuck.” If that’s the case, I can see how he got up to $650 million.