Duchess Kate Took Off Her Engagement Ring

With Meghan Markle and Prince Harry out of the line of fire and lying dormant somewhere in L.A., I guess it’s Duchess Kate and Prince William’s turn to play human shield and protect The Firm from Prince Andrew’s insatiable appetite for pizza. Page Six reports that Kate was photographed without her engagement ring! Is Kate and William’s marriage in trouble, or is there something even more sinister afoot? I mean, yes, obviously the latter is true (see Prince Andrew above), but with a good percentage of the world on lockdown, this is what it’s come to. A Duchess removes her heirloom ring. Coronavirus has got us fucked up.

Since none of the royal family can go out and shake people’s hands for a living, they have to find some other way to look busy. According to Page Six, Kate and William are focusing their attention on making phone calls and posing for pictures in their home offices. If you were to see a picture of me at work in my home office, you’d probably call 911 and ask them to do a wellness check. But Kate and William appear to have taken their meds, put on outside clothes, and had a servant empty the piss jar. The only thing amiss was the a-missing ring.

Over the weekend, the Duchess of Cambridge was seen without her sapphire and diamond engagement ring — which once belonged to the late Princess Diana — in new portraits released by Kensington Palace, which capture her and husband Prince William working from home.

In one photo, Kate, 38, is seated at a desk wearing a rose-colored Mark & Spencer suit, which she recently sported during a visit to the London Ambulance Service 111 control room. Though the mother of three’s most notable accessory isn’t present in the shot, it’s been speculated the move is a precaution.

As detailed in a 2018 Georgia State University study, “rings provide a protected area in which bacteria can flourish.”

Bacteria sounds so quaint these days, doesn’t it? But as Page Six notes, the CDC also says that it’s possible that wearing rings could potentially increase the spread of deadly germs (as can tampon sucking, just ask Prince Charles!). This of course is the exact reason I took off my engagement ring and totally not because I felt sure it was my last chance to do so without having to have it cut off due to The Fattening. But Kate doesn’t have to worry about that. She probably gets plenty of steps in walking from one wing of Buckingham Palace to the other. Besides, I’m sure she had to take it off last week when she spent what must have been hours teaching those kids to clap for commoners like commoners. Here’s Kate and William hard at work in their respective offices.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B-S_MnclCSg/

These are so staged! I can tell just by looking at those pristine un-kinked phone cords that neither of them have ever been put on hold in their lives.

Pic: Wenn.com