R. Kelly Has Changed His Mind And Wants Out Of Solitary Confinement

R.Kelly has changed his mind after spending a month in solitary confinement while behind held on multiple, multiple charges. R. Kelly has finally decided that he is not really interested in spending this much trapped in the closet cell by himself. Especially if they won’t give him anything to watch. So now his lawyers are asking the judge to let R. Kelly take the risk and enter into general population as both a famous musician and also a famous alleged pedophile. No one’ll notice him!

TMZ says that R. Kelly is starting to deteriorate… well he’s starting to deteriorate from prison–I feel like his mind was lost eons ago. Kelly has been in solitary because of all those charges against him across three states. He’s charged with sex trafficking, and child porn, and aggravated criminal sexual assault–and it’s in three different places, most recently getting hit with prostitution charges in Minnesota.

So now TMZ says that R. Kelly’s legal team is asking the judge to remove him from solitary confinement and switch rooms over to the very glamorous, very in-demand general population. They filed legal documents in which they claim that solitary is “designed for punishment… not housing pending trial.” 

His attorney, Steven Greenberg, gave examples of how miserable R. Kelly is:

“He has no meaningful interaction with human beings, no time outside getting sunlight, no access to media, no recreational activities, no face-to-face visitations that are not recorded, showering only 3 days a week and one 15-minute telephone call per month. And, he’s not permitted to buy snacks or candy from the commissary.”

Hmm, if you watched Surviving R. Kelly that all sounds exactly like the life of one of his alleged girlfriends to me? Except he gets a phone call. So he should be used to this lifestyle? But I guess he’s on the other side of it? Karma comes us all.

Steven continued with laying it on thick, saying that R. Kelly hasn’t been convicted yet so he shouldn’t be treated like he is–claiming some sort of reverse-racism for celebrities, saying R. Kelly’s “celebrity status” is why he’s being punished so harshly. …Also that he was charged for sex crimes involving minors, so they’re being harsher for that reason too. But hopefully his lawyer slid that point between two stronger ones because that’s not a very convincing an argument, if you ask me. His legal team wants the judge to consider his mental state and physical well-being.

Oh yes, R. Kelly wanting to be in general population definitely makes sense on his part and doesn’t make him or his team look even more nuts. Because we all know that alleged pedophiles are treated as heroes and treasures in general population! That sharp-looking thing that general population prisoners would come at R. Kelly with isn’t a shank, it’s a prison-made scepter they’d hand them while declaring him the king of the cell block. Honestly, I’m not sure if I’m being sarcastic or not.

Pic: YouTube